Icons of children’s entertainment to take refuge for the rest of 2017
Children’s authors, presenters and actors are seeking hiding places for the rest of 2017, the Rochdale Herald has learned.
This year has seen, in very...
Stubborn turd refuses to flush
A massive turd that is blocking the downstairs bog next to the Cabinet Meeting Room in Downing Street has been studiously ignoring hints that...
Amnesty International petition UN to halt Southern Rail human rights abuses
Southern announced today that the endless years of appalling service were over.
"We've been building to this moment." Someguywhohatespeoplesaid. "And today
I can announce that we're replacing...
Brexwhat? Say the Channel Islands
While the UK slowly goes into meltdown over leaving the EU the people of the Channel Islands are left scratching their heads wondering what...
Yahoo’s Head of IT Security asks Have you tried turning it off then on...
The Global Head of IT Security for Yahoo has moved swiftly to support customers and dispel rumours of incompetence.
VP of IT Security Brian Hodgkins,...
FIFA launch investigation into DUP backhander scandal
The Federation of International Football Associations (FIFA), have announced their intention to pursue a full investigation into alleged corruption in British politics, following the...
Reverse-only cars to propel American manufacturing forward
It has been revealed that the Donald Trump administration plans to revitalise America’s former manufacturing heartland – the Rust Belt – with production of...
Department Responsible For Brexit Does A Flit
Following heavy criticism for having achieved sweet Fanny Adams in the numerous months since its creation, workers at the Department for Exiting the European...
Paul Nuttall Claims June 8th Ballot May be Rigged
Paul Nuttall, temporary leader of UKIP, faced calls to stand down this morning from the establishment after commenting on the upcoming general election.
Speaking to...
Labour lose 30 seats in boundary adjustment, laugh Tories
The Conservative Party and the conservative government have denied that the electoral boundary change proposals are an attempt to ensure a Conservative advantage.
"It's just...
Mike Pence attends Broadway musical by mistake
Vice-President elect Mike Pence was roundly booed after he attended a performance of Broadway musical ‘Hamilton’ entirely by accident.
Pray for your health suckers says Mike Pence
The Rev Mike Pence, deputy pastor at the Church of the Poison Mind, Washington, DC, has been quoted as saying "What the American people need...
999 rescue for man who misunderstood the meaning of ‘rape robot’
A dramatic and embarrassing rescue involving two fire engines and four police cars was underway this morning, after one man failed to realise his...
New Beer Campaign Branded ‘Tasteless’
The British Council For Drinking More Beer (BCFDMB) rolled out their latest advertising initiative, a series of billboard posters to be prominently displayed in...
Remain Voter Desperately Waiting for Pound to Die
Due to an almost pathological desire to be proven correct, a Remain voter is obsessively checking the sterling exchange rate for signs of terminal illness.
"A bad...
Panic over as Daily Mail assures everyone the fridge wasn’t bought by a white...
The Mail-online has sought to reassure readers that it was a slack-jawed, lazy, drunken black man who bought the fridge that started the Grenfell...
