OED to introduce new terms for despicable journalism
Following some recent "newspaper" headlines, a source at the Oxford English Dictionary has revealed some new words to be introduced to accurately describe some...
Remain Voter Desperately Waiting for Pound to Die
Due to an almost pathological desire to be proven correct, a Remain voter is obsessively checking the sterling exchange rate for signs of terminal illness.
"A bad...
Home Office announce 40,000 new Police jobs to counter threat of future Justin Bieber...
Enough is enough. Amber Rudd rounded on those who “tolerate” Justin Bieber as she told them: “Enough is enough”. The Home Secretary chided all...
Department Responsible For Brexit Does A Flit
Following heavy criticism for having achieved sweet Fanny Adams in the numerous months since its creation, workers at the Department for Exiting the European...
Politicians vote in favour of restarting the Cold War
Having had 27 years to think about it the House of Commons voted this evening almost 4 to 1 in favour of restarting the...
Jeremy Corbyn thrilled to get through to judges houses
The election result has seen Jeremy Corbyn in a new light and he is hoping to continue this form into the next stage of...
Picture of Dorian Gray to replace Britain in future relationship with EU
It's thought the deeper thinking behind moving the picture to the front line of negotiations over the future relationship of Britain and the EU is as a result of the government discovering just how far up a creek they've rowed already.
Ed Millibland’s Tombstone to be Used for Thousands of Homes
The polls that are currently condemning Jeremy Corbyn to fail once predicted success for the socially inept, humanoid shaped play doh figure, Ed Millibland.
It's...
E-Cigarettes create ‘Super Organ’
E-Cigarettes cause your internal organs to fuse together creating one large 'super organ' that later bursts, scientists have found.
The two-year study, which followed heavy users of the...
Pressure grows for superhero movie with strong male lead
Following the box office success of ‘Wonder Woman’ pressure is growing for a Hollywood studio to finally make a superhero movie with a strong...
GBBO causes football fracas
It has been revealed that last night's violence at the London stadium was caused when West Ham fans chanted the name of the Bake...
Man into ‘real music’ unveils plans to spend night sneering at Eurovision
A 'real music' fan from Rochdale has revealed plans to spend tonight sneering loudly at the Eurovision song contest.
Martin Williams 42, told the Herald "Even...
Conservatives to trial ‘career houses’
The new Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, Damien Green, unveiled the plans earlier today in parliament.
The policy, which will see families currently...
Pray for your health suckers says Mike Pence
The Rev Mike Pence, deputy pastor at the Church of the Poison Mind, Washington, DC, has been quoted as saying "What the American people need...
Change of fart for Donald
Leading language experts are calling for a change in the classification of the word 'trump'.
Traditionally, it has been used as:
a term for flatulence
...
Happy Ed Balls Day
You know that feeling: the kids rush into your room at some ungodly morning hour and excitedly demand to know, “Has he been? Has...
