Man who’s ‘sick of reboots’ stops watching them

0
A man who claims that reboots of movies shouldn't be allowed because they always ruin the originals has stopped watching them. Trevor Sallis, an office manager from Basingstoke, said; "They need to leave stuff alone....

Doctor Who goes back to Gallifrey after announcing ‘I give up’

0
The protector of earth with more faces than Big Ben made the announcement on The One Show on Friday. Reflecting on the past 50 year of helping our species, the Peter Capaldi look-a-like said; "I stopped World...

Putin Accused in Rogue One Plan Hack Report

0
Emperor Palpatine has sensationally accused Russia of interfering in the internal affairs of the Galactic Empire. He has warned that the Empire will retaliate for Russian cyberattacks during the recent "Rogue One" theft of top...

Home Office announce 40,000 new Police jobs to counter threat of future Justin Bieber...

0
Enough is enough. Amber Rudd rounded on those who “tolerate” Justin Bieber as she told them: “Enough is enough”. The Home Secretary chided all who provide “safe spaces” for Bieber - in “real life”...

Burnley Piss Artist awarded lucrative Arts Council Grant

0
George Barns (56), life-long Burnley resident, and winner of the coveted Piss Artist of The Year Trophy, has been awarded a lucrative Arts Council grant. In making the award, Giles Miles of the Arts Council...

Mike Pence attends Broadway musical by mistake

0
Vice-President elect Mike Pence was roundly booed after he attended a performance of Broadway musical ‘Hamilton’ entirely by accident.

Fifty Shades Of Grey to become the government’s new race relations manual

1
We’ve all heard the expression about not judging a book by its cover, but one of the most notorious books of the current decade has just been judged by its title. In response to increasing...

GBBO causes football fracas

0
It has been revealed that last night's violence at the London stadium was caused when West Ham fans chanted the name of the Bake Off winner. Knowing full well that Chelsea fans had it...
Musician

Man into ‘real music’ unveils plans to spend night sneering at Eurovision

0
A 'real music' fan from Rochdale has revealed plans to spend tonight sneering loudly at the Eurovision song contest. Martin Williams 42, told the Herald "Even though I've got a TV subscription with over 200 channels, Netflix...
Star Wars Millennium Falcon

Millennium Falcon and on and on and on

0
As fans eagerly anticipate the latest film in the Star Wars saga, Rogue One, plans have been revealed for yet more films to be made.

This weeks Soap headlines

0
The Rochdale Herald: Giving you all the goss! Emmerdale Farm It's all twists and turns this week as someone has a brew from the cafe and doesn't pay! Pollard is up to his old tricks again....
Castle in woods

Icons of children’s entertainment to take refuge for the rest of 2017

0
Children’s authors, presenters and actors are seeking hiding places for the rest of 2017, the Rochdale Herald has learned. This year has seen, in very quick succession, the loss of many stars of children’s entertainment...

Musicians speak at upset of knowing that Tories like their work

4
Distraught musicians Florence Welch and Calvin Harris have spoken out at their horror of discovering that they have next to no control over what type of people might like their music. The musicians have...
Ant and Dec

I’m A Celebrity host seen tampering with a parachute following announcement that K***e H*****s...

0
Following the shock decision to give Ms Hopkins, who has been sacked from numerous broadcasting jobs because of her wordhole, a spot on one of the biggest tv shows, it appears that one of...

Pressure grows for superhero movie with strong male lead

2
Following the box office success of ‘Wonder Woman’ pressure is growing for a Hollywood studio to finally make a superhero movie with a strong male lead. Superhero movies have been repeatedly criticised in recent...

Nobody Sufficiently Into Ed Sheeran To Be Fussed About Being First In The Arena

0
Ed Sheeran - like him or dislike him, it seems that nobody has particularly strong feelings about him either way, it would appear. At a recent gig in London, ticket holders were photographed en masse...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts