Farage Security Concern as Public learn sense can be knocked into UKIP MEP

Steven Woolfe, the UKIP MEP, is being hailed as a “Medical Miracle” after becoming the 1st person in history to have had sense knocked into him.
Cat

I’m unlikely to put up with your shit much longer, cat tells owner after...

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A 4 year old black and white cat from Twickenham has told its owner Steve that "It's pretty fucking unlikely that I will be...
Michael Gove

Britons aghast at realisation that Brexit Bonus is Michael Gove as P.M.

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Ordinary, innocent Britons, along with many who voted Leave, were faced today with the horrendous realisation that the much vaunted 'Brexit Bonus' was likely...

Clock in the car delighted to be right for next six months

The clock in the car is said to be absolutely over the moon that the clocks have gone forward or back again.
Houses of Parliament

Boost for NHS as Government pledges 50% of uncollected change from vending machines over...

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The NHS received a much needed boost today, after Number 10 kindly pledged to plough a sizeable portion of uncollected change from all Government...

Cannabis legalisation could mean users run out of things to talk about within 24...

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Experts are tonight warning that Britain's stoner community could run out of things to talk about in as little as 24 hours. The warnings...
Theresa May (licence)

Scientists discover creature smaller than Theresa May’s credibility.

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Biologists wielding enormous magnifying glasses today discovered a newt thought to be the world's smallest living thing. This infinitesimal being has been proved by scientists...

British Firewall totally not about censorship and spying, says head of spying and censorship...

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GCHQ, the British spy agency that is regularly exposed for bugging our phones and nicking our online data to spy on us, has announced...

Army reserves called in to quell riot after supermarket runs out of Prosecco

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A large scale riot has erupted, leaving two police officers in critical condition and requiring a joint effort between the police and Army reserves. At...
Potholes

Potholes are going to be our next victims, confirms government

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A source within the Conservative Party has confirmed today that they plan to murder all of the potholes in the country should they win...
Prince Harry

Prince Harry to marry woman he is barely related to

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Prince Harry is breaking with Royal protocol by marrying an American actress he is barely related to. Kensington Palace are said to be disturbed  saying...

Sturgeon Scotland Indyref Goes to Defcon Fandouble-Dozi

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Nicola Sturgeon has told Theresa May that she is not "bluffing" on the promise of a second independence and has gone to Defcon Fandabidoubledozi! In...

UKIP elect Diane James leader

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UKIP have elected Diane James as their new leader. Apologies for our previous article that featured Mick Jagger from The Rollong Stones. Our intern Douglas has...

BBC to Celebrate April 1st as Farage Day

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The BBC announced Saturday that it is designating Aril 1st as "Farage Day", in honour of the enormous contribution that seven times unelected former...
Laptop Office Thumbs Up

Software update happens at convenient time

A laptop in an office in Rochdale has undergone a comprehensive software update without completely screwing up his owner’s day. The laptop, which is an...

Parent’s snow day ruined by children’s snow day

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Not content with generally ruining your life, kids on snow days are one whinge away from being buried under that patio. Parent and washed...

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