Conservatives offer new members discount card at Kentucky Fried Pheasant
Conservative Party Central Office have announced this week that new members will be recieve a variety of benefits including discounts at Michael Gove's new...
Queen acts out stamp during charades for 60th year running
The Queen acted out a stamp for the 60th year running during the traditional game of Charades at Sandringham yesterday.
An insider told us, "She...
Black people in England 8.2 times more likely to accidentally run into police truncheons...
Priti Patel today confirmed that the Black Lives Matter movement is a protest about American racism that has nothing to do with England. The...
Prince William criticises social media firms about fake news to cover up numerous affairs...
Prince William has appeared at the BBC and spoken out against the inaction of social media firms. He said in a statement statement that...
We didn’t hack Paul Nuttall claims hacker group Anonymous
"We didn't hack Paul Nuttall" claims anarchistic hacker group Anonymous, as they moved to deny claims that it had hacked the UKIP leader and...
Nuttall loses close personal seats in election disaster
Accident prone Paul Nuttall, leader of UKIP, faced fresh tragedy today after learning that all his ‘close personal seats’ were lost in an election...
Sun exposes Cable as Strawberry fool
Liberal democrat leadership candidate "SIR" Vince Cable has been left looking a plum strawberry fool after his claim that Britain was running out of...
Outrage as ban on Christmas turns out to be false
People across the country have expressed outrage in response to the revelation that a ban on Christmas has been revealed to be false.
An image...
May slams link to Wheat Supremacists claims as ‘ridiculous’
Theresa May has dismissed claims that she met and briefed Czech Wheat Supremacists during the Cold War years as a "ridiculous smear".
According to a...
Awkward Moment as Someone has to explain what a Joke is to Theresa May
There was an awkward meeting this morning when an assistant to the Prime Minister had to explain to her what a joke was.
This occurred...
Theresa May expected to announce late entrance to this years ‘I’m a Celebrity Get...
Prime Minster, and Britain's foremost pterodactyl impersonator, Theresa May is rumoured to be announcing that she will be a last minute entrant to this...
Britons aghast at realisation that Brexit Bonus is Michael Gove as P.M.
Ordinary, innocent Britons, along with many who voted Leave, were faced today with the horrendous realisation that the much vaunted 'Brexit Bonus' was likely...
Coronavirus causes charmer to consider condoms
Since moving to London, St Cuthbert's alumnus Ben Green has prided himself on, in his own words, "spreading his chutney round Putney". Claiming to...
People confused over what Testing is for
Journalists and other easily baffled people were today up in arms that a thing being tested didn't work as planned.
Idiots the country over were...
Branson to be Stripped of Knighthood & Awarded “The Icepick of the People” in...
John McDonnell has branded British capitalist lapdog Sir Richard Branson an "enemy of the People" who "undermines Democracy & the Will of the People"...
Theresa May to headline Latitude Festival
Not to be outdone by Corbyn's appearance at Glastonbury last weekend, May hastily forms new band to perform at Latitude this July.
In the kind...
