Middle aged men in state of heightened excitement after reported sightings of first B...

0
After spending the long winter months in a hibernatory slumber, the nation's middle-aged men are getting all silly over news that the first hardware...

Gary Glitter to crowdfund trip to Thailand

0
Popular paedophile, Gary Glitter is alleged to be considering crowdfunding a trip to Thailand for when he gets out of prison. A spokesperson said, "The...
Snow on trees

Britain urged to get used to winter

0
With the annual two inches of snow set to cause havoc across the country again experts have advised people to stop whining and get...
Lenny Henry

Premier Inn to change all the locks tonight

0
Every Premier Inn in the country is changing their locks tonight, whilst Lenny Henry hosts Red Nose Day on the BBC. Mr. Henry was the...
Laptop

I was looking at porn not the Conservative manifesto, Damien Green assures Mum

The First Secretary of State, essentially Theresa May's deputy, is facing an investigation by his Mum into allegations that copies of the Conservative manifesto...

Corbyn press relationship hits the buffers following Traingate 

Jeremy Corbyn had an uncomfortable day today as he was asked a series of questions by journalists after being caught bullshitting about the state...

Chewing gum booms as government invests £100 billion in wrong ‘Trident.’

0
An administrative error has seen government funding to renew British nuclear armaments sent to the wrong ‘Trident.’ Earlier today £100 billion was electronically transferred to...
Woman eating sweets

Disgraceful mum eats way through another giant tub of Haribo before Trick or Treaters...

0
Disgraced mother-of-two Barbara Dickinson, from Rochdale was disgusted with herself yet again today, after eating through another tub of Halloween themed Starmix.  Mrs Dickinson has...

Government expands badger cull to five new areas despite warnings it doesn’t work

We to need press on with the solution,  said Theressa May when questioned before all the MP's went on their jollies, leaving the...
Britain First

Britain First strangely quiet over Jo Cox murder

0
This week saw the conviction and sentencing of Thomas Mair in the case of the tragic murder of MP Jo Cox.  During the murder, the...
three year old

Three year old child sits still and shuts up for five minutes

Unconfirmed reports are coming in from Rochdale that a three year old child sat still in contemplative silence for five whole minutes last Tuesday...

Vegans & Fruitarians to settle differences with pissing contest in Co-op car park

0
Long held tensions between Orthodox Vegans & followers of it's subsidiary Fruitarianism about which is the most ethical way of life finally came to...

London celebrates first “Gammon Pride” event

0
Scotland Yard and the Met Police are bracing for potential violent clashes at a "Gammon Pride" event being held in London today. The event will...
Birmingham Park in Snow

‘No Bad News Day’ in West Midlands after all morons are snowed-in

0
The West Midlands is experiencing record low levels of bad news and buffoonery as the majority of the population took advantage of a plausible...
Bored Cat And Dog

Wheelie Bin Cat purr-sues new career as guard dog trainer

0
Lola the ninja feline, from Coventry, was once again discovered in a rather strange location. This time it was in a Romford working men’s...
Fireworks

Arseholes unaware it’s not the Fifth of November

0
Arseholes up and down the country are unaware that it is not the fifth of November, it has been confirmed. From London to Liverpool, the...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts