Stephen Fry forced to deny writing tomorrow’s Queen Speech
Rumours are circulating within Westminster village regarding tomorrow's Queen's Speech. In order for it to be the unmistakable work of comedy everyone expects, Downing Street...
SHOCK after ECSTASY tablet found to contain traces of MDMA
Rochdale Police today issued a warning to recreational drug users that Ecstasy tablets are being sold in the local area that actually contain some...
Sale of over-counter Viagra faces stiff opposition
The Women's Institute are lobbying the Health Secretary demanding that Viagra only be available through prescription and after consultation with a Doctor.
Recent changes bought...
Rochdale IT Worker Deletes Human Rights Act
Albert Fudge, a Rochdale based web designer employed by the Conservative Party- has accidentally deleted the European Human Rights Act.
The tech boffin was asked...
Two kids remember something – proves some hippy shit totally
With all the scientific rigour of a hippy Merlin with a bone through his nose, the BBC headlines recently included the assertion that the...
Jeremy Hunt’s £44,000 office shower necessary for cleaning off his bullshit
“Of course Jeremy needs a shower for his office. He’s in it right now as a matter of fact. Every time he opens his mouth, he spews out so much utter bullshit that it gets all over him and he has to get cleaned up.”
Wheelie Bin Cat purr-sues new career as guard dog trainer
Lola the ninja feline, from Coventry, was once again discovered in a rather strange location. This time it was in a Romford working men’s...
Arseholes unaware it’s not the Fifth of November
Arseholes up and down the country are unaware that it is not the fifth of November, it has been confirmed.
From London to Liverpool, the...
‘No Bad News Day’ in West Midlands after all morons are snowed-in
The West Midlands is experiencing record low levels of bad news and buffoonery as the majority of the population took advantage of a plausible...
Russell Brand in hot water again for ‘pranking’ Andrews Sachs’ granddaughter
Long haired Labour killer and plastic revolutionary, Russell Brand, has come under fire once again this morning after 'pranking' the granddaughter of the late...
Baxter, president of Dogs, issues chilling warning to Felix, Beloved Leader of the Cats.
President Baxter of the Dogs has today issued an ultimatum and warning to his Cat counterpart, Beloved Leader Felix, over the rising tension in...
Some bloke in UKIP said something about the BBC
Bill Etheridge, a candidate for hard right conservative comedy troupe UKIP has said that the BBC should be privatised because it's "shoving left wing...
Theresa May Reads A Christmas Carol Backwards To Give It A Happy Ending
It's one of the most famous stories, if not the most famous, in the English language. It's been made into countless films, plays and...
Returning jihadis to be given free roast dinner at BUCKINGHAM PALACE
Britons who travelled to Syria to fight for the so-called Islamic State will be welcomed back into the country with a FREE roast dinner...
Charity begins at home, say dickheads who don’t give money to charity
Total wankers around the country have responded to increases in the foreign aid budget by insisting that charity begins at home.
The wankers, who can...
Government should save people’s shop John Lewis says man who hasn’t been in since...
A Rochdale man has demanded that the Government step in if the retailer John Lewis goes bust. There are fears that the retailer may...
