Vote leave caught cheating at tombola
The vote leave campaign have today received a stern glare and a verbal ticking off for cheating at the village fete tombola.
It turns out...
Princess Diana’s ghost tells Express readers Brexit deal is a total car crash
Princess Diana's ghost has told Daily Express readers that Theresa May's Brexit deal is a complete car crash.
Speaking to the Express Diana's ghost said,...
BBC Breakfast mix up Sturgeon with Gorilla
BBC Breakfast has apologised after images of the gorilla Kumbuka, whose recent non-escape filled a slow news day, were shown on screen instead of...
Corbyn clarifies Labour position on EU saying ‘we’d sort of like to leave but...
The Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has absolutely clarified Labour's position on the EU today in a really important speech in Coventry.
He told the press...
Queen to redo speech after forgetting to say ‘strong and stable’
In an unprecedented move Theresa May is to inform Queen Elizabeth that she will need to redo today's Queen's Speech in Parliament because she...
It’s a Global Thing, insists Brexit economist
Rochdale financial expert and three times bankrupt Brexit economist Ivana Sendham-Bach claimed today that the announcement that the UK was about to enter a...
Russian government denies involvement in Aleksandr ‘the Meerkat’ Orlov poisoning
The Russian government has denied any involvement in the poisoning of Aleksandr 'The Meerkat' Orlov, after the TV star was found unconscious outside his...
You moved a little bit so obviously that means we’re going for a walk,...
A family pet in North Yorkshire has jumped to the conclusion that he is about to go for a walk after his owner crossed...
Boris Johnson hits King of Spain on forehead with spoon after mistaking him for...
Britain and Spain are embroiled in a ferocious diplomatic incident after Boris Johnson hit King Felipe VI of Spain on the forehead with a...
Wheelie Bin Cat purr-sues career as guard dog trainer
Lola the ninja feline, from Coventry, was once again discovered in a rather strange location. This time it was in a Romford working men’s...
Prince Andrew to release sex tape
Prince Andrew will release a sex tape in the cuming weeks in an effort to put to bed any rumours about his relationship with...
DUP B.U.N.G. to be funded through NI contributions
British Unity Nationally Guaranteed
Treasury Minister Terry Axe announced today that British Unity Nationally Guaranteed (aka B.U.N.G.) payments will start shortly as part of delivering...
Your Mum has a dildo
Children all over the country are coming to terms with the horrifying reality that their Mums have at least one dildo.
Bus drivers distraught they can’t lose shit when given a fiver due to increased...
Bus drivers distraught they can't lose their shit when given a fiver, due to increased ticket prices.
Up and down the country local bus drivers...
Fire at Burnley Art School causes pounds worth of damage
Yesterday's fire at the Burnley School for the Arts has caused £500 worth of damage. Early indications are that the bus stop is irreparably...
Middle aged man now communicating entirely by sighing
Authorities in Lancashire are trying to solve the riddle of a man in Rochdale who is now communicating with the outside world only by...
