BBC to Celebrate April 1st as Farage Day

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The BBC announced Saturday that it is designating Aril 1st as "Farage Day", in honour of the enormous contribution that seven times unelected former...

Prince Harry condemned for turning up to fancy dress party dressed as Paul Hollywood

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The world had thought that William's half-brother and something-or-other in line to the throne's days of causing controversy were over. But today, a new...

14000 airbus job losses and 3.8 million settled migrants was on the other bus...

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Brexiteers have been scrambling around attempting to tell everyone that 14,000 job losses at Airbus and 3.8 million settled migrants was on a completely...

Young people urged to move to areas with cheaper housing and spend savings on...

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The Government is to tell young people that they should move away from urban centers in order to pay less rent. With rents increasing in...

Whitehall in panic as Chilcot Report left on N47 Deptford Bus

With only a little more than a month to go before the controversial Chilcot report is due to be released Whitehall has been thrown...
Union flag with "Brexit" ove it

Government’s Brexit White Paper revealed

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The hotly anticipated government White Paper on Brexit was released this week to an explosion of love juice from the editors of the Mail...
Theresa May

Theresa May to change name to Votey McVoteface to secure youth vote

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Prime Minister Theresa May will change her name to Votey McVoteface ahead of this Thursday's general election. With the election a matter of hours away...

Local hero returns from stay in hotel with both his iPhone charger and toothbrush

A local man is being hailed as some sort of hero after managing to return home from a stay in a hotel with both...
Emergency Services

Office worker pops supressing huge fart during 5 hour meeting

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Tragedy struck a small IT company in Dorking yesterday after one of its office workers brave efforts to tame a particularly brutal build-up of...

Twenty two point lead for Tories touts Telegraph

Conservatives clap to celebrate clear lead as misdirectional muppetry f/makes news yet again after the Telegraph published the definitely not at all orchestrated and not tailored...

SAS chiefs approach Liberal Democrats for tips on staying out of sight.

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It has been revealed today that bosses of the Special Air Service, or SAS, the British special forces, attempted to contact the Liberal Democrat...
Christmas Children

Only 3,617 parliamentary sex scandals until Christmas

The United Kingdom was very giddy to learn today that there are just 3,617 parliamentary sex scandals left to be revealed before Christmas. Santa Claus...

Winter 2016 enters third consecutive year

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Meteorologists have confirmed that winter 2016 has entered its third consecutive year. With more bloody miserable weather forecast officials at the Met Office have concluded...

EU offers bribe of better UK weather if we remain

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The European Union, desperate for the UK to remain, have said that the proposed European Standard Weather system due to come into operation early...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson promises £350M a week to the recovery of the British Virgin Islands

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Boris Johnson, United Kingdom Foreign Secretary and all round honest broker, took the airwaves via the Today programme this morning to promise the UK...
Sadiq Khan

Sadiq Khan cracks down on junk food ads as thinner children harder to stab

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Mayor plans to ban junk food adverts from Transport for London. Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, today announced a plan to ban junk food adverts...

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