Vegans & Fruitarians to settle differences with pissing contest in Co-op car park

0
Long held tensions between Orthodox Vegans & followers of it's subsidiary Fruitarianism about which is the most ethical way of life finally came to...
Royal Mail

Royal Mail agrees to launch new £6 first class Brexit stamp

0
The Royal Mail have announced a special stamp to commemorate Brexit today. The stamp will be a first class stamp and cost £6. The Daily...

We mess with clothes sizing to mess with your heads shops tell women

0
Leading women's clothing shop owners have said they stock clothes with inconsistent sizing to mess with women's heads. One leading shop owner said, "We deliberately...

Rochdale assassination attempt foiled by rail replacement bus service

0
A Russian assassination team who were tasked with assassinating an ex-spy In Rochdale were foiled by a rail replacement bus service and a strike...
Kicked in the balls

London pints to come with free kick in knackers from 2019

0
Consumers concerned with the rising price of alcohol in the UK received a welcome boost today, as it was confirmed all boozers in the...

Modern slavery greatest evil, says woman who supports unemployed working for free

Theresa May has announced that the worst thing in the world, after Trump's hair and Boris Johnson's gob, is modern slavery. Millions will...
Love Actually

Christmas ruined after husband caught shagging secretary on Christmas Eve

0
Christmas is officially ruined after the managing director of a local advertising agency was caught by his wife bonking his secretary on Christmas Eve. Father...
Piers Morgan

Self-aggrandising, egotistical liar meets Donald Trump

0
Donald Trump was interviewed by self-aggrandising egotist Piers Morgan over the weekend. Morgan, who likes to pretend to stand for traditional British values such as...
Birmingham Park in Snow

‘No Bad News Day’ in West Midlands after all morons are snowed-in

0
The West Midlands is experiencing record low levels of bad news and buffoonery as the majority of the population took advantage of a plausible...

UKIP Apologises For Not Knowing What Obvious Means

UKIP were forced to admit today that big words like "joke" and "obvious" are generally beyond their grasp. The announcement came after a social media...

Extra hour…or do we lose one? Anyway clock change thingy happens

0
The half of the nation whose oven clocks are correct swapped places with the half whose oven clocks are an hour or twelve out...

Man with plan to carpe the absolute diem out of today now on his...

13
A Rochdale man woke up Monday morning to his Eye of the Tiger alarm clock, punched the air, and said let’s get to work. Trevor...
Middle Aged Man Barbecue

Women overcome by raw sexuality of man undercooking chicken on BBQ

  Emergency services were called to a barbecue at a property in northern Lancashire this afternoon after dozens of women came over "a bit funny"...

Nation tries to remember why it told kids to knock on strangers’ doors for...

0
Did we just adjust the clocks so that it is dark by the time kids come home from school, and then teach them to...

Smart Energy may help me keep job – says National Grid boss

0
The new head of the National Grid, Nicola Shaw,  has today encouraged consumers to opt for "smart energy" devices which will enable her to...

Britons Now Incapable Of Making Any Decision Without A Referendum

1
The majority of British people are now incapable of making a decision without first holding a referendum, according to a study published today. Researchers...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts