Russian Government says it asked Arron Banks to organise a trip to Salisbury Cathedral

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Arron Banks has said that he only spoke to Russian Government officials because they had asked him to organise a tour of Salisbury Cathedral....

Ruins of sunken city in South Yorkshire ‘just Sheffield’, archeologists told

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Archeologists have been left disappointed today after being told that the ruins of an ancient sunken city was actually just Sheffield. Archeologist Bill Board told...

Trident satnav and sellotape cutbacks a mistake admits Michael Fallon

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Top honcho at the MOD, the right honourable Sir Michael Fallon MP, has admitted that cutbacks in the Trident programme may have contributed to...

Leadsom bookies favourite in cabinet deadpool

Professional sexist and political hot potato Andrea Leadsom was under fire yesterday following revelations that her comments about motherhood in The Times during her...
Princess Diana

Princess Diana’s ghost tells Express readers Brexit deal is a total car crash

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Princess Diana's ghost has told Daily Express readers that Theresa May's Brexit deal is a complete car crash. Speaking to the Express Diana's ghost said,...

Tories announce mass culling of Wombles

Animal rights protesters were today up in arms after the news that the culling of Wombles is to go ahead as recent indications suggest...

Hard left protestors to protest Grenfell fire by setting fire to buildings and looting...

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Members of the hard left have announced plans to protest at the Grenfell fire by looting and setting fire to local shops it has...

Children of middle class parents begin Christmas paperwork

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The children of middle class parents all over the country are celebrating the rest of their holidays by doing paperwork.

Tommy Robinson supporter disappointed by lack of Muslim no-go areas in London

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A Tommy Robinson supporter from Rochdale has told of his disappointment at discovering London isn't a Muslim no-go area dominated by Sharia Law. Cliff Edge...

What time is it Mr Woolfe?

Steven Woolfe, a total barrister who serves as a legal adviser to hedge fund managers and bankers narrowly missed his chance to become replacement...
Rubbish in Street

Piled rubbish masks smell of Birmingham city

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Birmingham city council, has for the past few weeks been in the grips of a public sector strike. Birmingham’s ‘bin men’ are demanding fairer/higher...
Fat Kid

Anger as Rochdale drops out of top 5 towns for childhood obesity

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Rochdale residents have reacted with anger after it was revealed that Rochdale has dropped from 4th to 9th in the UK's childhood obesity ranking. 12...

Rochdale Herald sign former Welsh international goalkeeper Neville Southall from Twitter

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The Rochdale Herald have signed goalkeeper Neville Southall from twitter for an undisclosed fee, that definitely didn’t involve skeletons. The veteran ex-Everton goalie, who is...

Arsehole doesn’t know he’s an arsehole

An absolute arsehole is blissfully unaware that everybody thinks he's an arsehole. Dave Bloke, 42 and a bit from Rochdale, somehow still thinks people like...
Spaniel

Family dog dutifully tells sleeping baby that there’s somebody at the door

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A dutiful family dog has very helpfully informed a sleeping baby that there is somebody at the door. The seven year old Cocker Spaniel made...

Dominic Raaaaab resigns to commit more time to GCSE resit

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Dominic Raab has announced he's resigning to spend more time with his Geography GCSE revision. Mr Raaab announced his resignation earlier today saying, "I've...

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