Arron Banks demands police enforcement of EU data privacy laws
Arron Banks has taken a day off from calling for Britain to leave the EU so it can be free from the interference of...
Theresa May announces Leyland Daf to build next generation Brexit-fighter in Preston
Theresa May has announced that the UK will be leaving the Eurofighter Programme immediately. BAE Systems will be closing its Eurofighter factory in the...
Chilcott’s Trojan War Report ready in the next few days
Sir John Chilcott has announced his long overdue enquiry into the Trojan War could be ready "within a matter of days".
The report, long overdue...
Wales Seeks Independence as Gareth Bale Doubles Welsh GDP
Carwyn Jones has changed his mind on Welsh Independence after Gareth Bale’s new contract doubled the GDP of Wales.
Recently renamed London landmark Massive Mohammed to ring out for Diwali despite repairs
There will be fewer quiet nights during October after the authorities in charge of the House of Commons agreed to give the recently renamed...
Mortgage lenders to accept kidneys instead of mortgage deposits for first time buyers
Two mortgage lenders have announced that from 2018 they will accept the harvested organs of buyers with small deposits in a bid to attract...
BMW three series usage linked with being an unbearable bellend
A 25 year long study of the people who habitually buy and use BMW 3 series has concluded that they are usually "unbearable bellends."
Previous...
Fears sugar tax could mean bottom falls out of mobility scooter market
The British mobility scooter industry has warned that it could see a huge drop in production of mobility scooters following the introduction of the...
MP’s staff to wear burkas in effort to make them less alluring to MP’s
MP's have demanded that a new dress code be brought in for their staff to make them less alluring sexually. It's hoped that the...
Home Office apologises for deporting ‘the wrong sort of brown people’
In an official statement released within the last few minutes, the Home office has apologised 'unreservedly' for deporting 'the wrong sort of brown people'.
The...
Ruins of sunken city in South Yorkshire ‘just Sheffield’, archeologists told
Archeologists have been left disappointed today after being told that the ruins of an ancient sunken city was actually just Sheffield.
Archeologist Bill Board told...
Weather still not good enough to lure sulky teenager out of his bedroom
Despite the change in the weather, cloudless skies and temperatures in the high 20s, it is still not enough to persuade moody teenager, Damian...
Met office issue ice warning in winter
As weather experts issue yet another ice warning the people of the North West have told The Rochdale Herald that they actually don't give...
Electric shock therapy recharges your batteries, says sadistic boss
The boss of a Rochdale mobile phone tech support company, Globally Integrated Mobile Phone Solutions, has been telling the Herald how electric shock therapy...
Children of middle class parents begin Christmas paperwork
The children of middle class parents all over the country are celebrating the rest of their holidays by doing paperwork.
Mime artist finds way out of glass box
Mime artists across the world are silently applauding the first ever recorded occurrence of a mime artist breaking out of a glass box.
There was...
