Conservatives offer new members discount card at Kentucky Fried Pheasant
Conservative Party Central Office have announced this week that new members will be recieve a variety of benefits including discounts at Michael Gove's new...
Tube passenger that hurled anti-Semitic abuse says, I was reading the Labour Party manifesto
A man arrested for what police have described as a "horrific anti-Semitic attack" on the London Underground on Friday has said he was just...
Everybody wondering where the one car with snow on it came from
Drivers all over the UK are wondering where the hell that one car with snow on it has come from.
"Where on Earth has that...
OUTRAGE as gender neutral snowbeing desecrated with COCK AND BALLS!!!
GMP Saddleworth were last night were conducting a full manhunt, as the spate of gender neutral snow beings being cruelly desecrated with a carrot...
Cannabis legalisation could mean users run out of things to talk about within 24...
Experts are tonight warning that Britain's stoner community could run out of things to talk about in as little as 24 hours. The warnings...
Little Chef Change All Breakfasts To ‘Pork-Free’ After Complaints by ‘Foreigners’.
British roadside dining legends Little Chef have decided to make all their breakfasts, including their famous ‘All Day Breakfast’, entirely pork-free following a campaign...
Get on smack if you love the Union Jack – patriots demand you inject...
Britain's most patriotic patriots have led calls for everyone in the country to be forced to inject themselves with poppies. The push for proper...
Cryptocurrencies overtake buy to let portfolios as reason not to have “that twat” over...
Our survey of Rochdale couples reveals cryptocurrencies are now the top reason for removal from dinner party guest lists.
In our extensive survey, which we...
People with no connection to the USA celebrate Independence Day
People with absolutely no connection to the United States of America have been inexplicably celebrating US Independence Day today.
Cliff Edge told us, "I got...
“It’s Warmas” declares Britain
Are you hanging loads of poppy's on the wall?
Is your granny telling you stories about fighting in the Second World War despite only being...
To be fair I was pissed, says Nigel 2.0 candidate
Steven Woolfe, the chief xenophobe-in-waiting of totally unracist UKIP party has been caught out forgetting things.
Again.
After forgetting to apply for the candidacy he's standing...
Amber Rudd becomes Secretary at Home
Amber Rudd today denied she had resigned as Home Secretary, and claimed she had simply renegotiated the job title and specification.
"I have agreed...
Angela Merkel looking forward to going Interrailing with Michael Gove
Angela Merkel is reported to be ecstatic about spending the summer Interrailing with Michael Gove. Gove will be Interrailing as part of the Governments...
Man believes in equality because he has daughters
A man has confirmed today that he is “totally woke” on the issues facing women today, because he has made not just one, but...
For Fuck’s Sake, sighs Britain
The entire United Kingdom muttered "for fuck's sake" in unision yesterday afternoon after learning that Boris Johnson has been "elected: new Conservative leader and...
Royal baby to be named Prince Kevin. Probably.
Following the news that Duchess of Cambridge has given birth to a bouncing baby boy, speculation is rife regarding the name the House of...
