Wheelie Bin Cat purr-sues new career as guard dog trainer
Lola the ninja feline, from Coventry, was once again discovered in a rather strange location. This time it was in a Romford working men’s...
‘No Bad News Day’ in West Midlands after all morons are snowed-in
The West Midlands is experiencing record low levels of bad news and buffoonery as the majority of the population took advantage of a plausible...
Russell Brand in hot water again for ‘pranking’ Andrews Sachs’ granddaughter
Long haired Labour killer and plastic revolutionary, Russell Brand, has come under fire once again this morning after 'pranking' the granddaughter of the late...
Sexism Claim Over Parking Abuse
A driver has defended parking his car across two spaces in a supermarket car park saying "no one would have batted an eyelid if...
53 year old man killed in gigantic pants fire
A 53 year-old man killed in a gigantic pants fire at his home in Upper Wally in Oxfordshire has been described by former colleagues...
Labour Party member forced to deny he’s joined a cult
A Labour Party member who has attended their conference has been forced to deny he has joined a cult.
Bill Board has spent the last...
UKIP Apologises For Not Knowing What Obvious Means
UKIP were forced to admit today that big words like "joke" and "obvious" are generally beyond their grasp.
The announcement came after a social media...
Tower Bridge To House Migrants
London readers will notice scaffolding appearing on the iconic Tower Bridge today (Saturday) as the bridge is now closed until December in order to...
Returning jihadis to be given free roast dinner at BUCKINGHAM PALACE
Britons who travelled to Syria to fight for the so-called Islamic State will be welcomed back into the country with a FREE roast dinner...
Nation tries to remember why it told kids to knock on strangers’ doors for...
Did we just adjust the clocks so that it is dark by the time kids come home from school, and then teach them to...
Sheffield City Council declares state of emergency after residents are forced to have a...
Sheffield City Council have declared a state of emergency after some residents reported taking a bath.
Brightside resident Stand Still told us, "It's been 12...
British public says Nigel Farage can have peerage now so long as we don’t...
“It’s like Frankenstein’s monster. You create this and release it there is no telling what harm it will do once it realises it has thumbs. Better instead to give the chancer a Lordship and let him never turn up to the House of Lords. It will be exactly the same as his ‘work’ as an MEP. Put him on a few committees and you’ll never see him again.”
Babies born in Britain today to hear about home ownership via myths and legends
Researchers from the Rochdale Institute for Social Morphology released today the results of their latest study into the changing oral traditions of the British...
Dog looking forward to “cower under the toilet night” this weekend
A dog has told of his love of the 5th of November festivities, or "cower under the toilet night" as it's known in the...
Now for something different, our Big Fat Secret Santa
Along with the very fine and folk at NewsThump and The Southend News Network we have put together what we think could be one...
Move to rename Oldham as Oldtofu welcomed by militant vegans
The town of Oldham, Greater Mancashire, has been praised by vegan activists, hipsters and liberal snowflakes alike for taking the progressive move of removing...
