Rolf Harris to paint The Queen again for TV comeback special

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Former popular television presenter to repaint Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth following release from prison. Rolf Harris, 87, is rumoured to be looking at the possibility...

Leadsom bookies favourite in cabinet deadpool

Professional sexist and political hot potato Andrea Leadsom was under fire yesterday following revelations that her comments about motherhood in The Times during her...
Tony the Tiger

Tony the Tiger loses paw to Type 2 diabetes

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Tony the Tiger, the face of the Frosties breakfast cereal brand since 1952, has according to sources, lost a paw to Type 2 diabetes. Mr...

Man singing “Free Tommy Robinson” thought he was entering competition to meet him

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A man who spent yesterday in London singing "Free Tommy Robinson" has said he thought he was entering a competition to meet him. Dave Wild...

Government reveals latest cohort of “freak and misfit” advisors

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The Government has announced that it has recruited some more "freaks and weirdos" as advisors following the resignation of noted weirdo, Andrew Sabisky. A spokesman...

Is the EU to blame for Storm Ciara?

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As Storm Ciara batters it's way across the country we at The Rochdale Herald ask, is the EU to blame? Bill Board, Wetherspoons Raconteur. "Of course...

William and Catherine’s third child expected to hatch in April

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Kensington palace said the breeding pair were “delighted” to be adding to their lounge and already have two hatchlings: Prince George, four, and his younger sister Charlotte, two.

Corbyn train lie proves case for nationalisation

After it was revealed today that Jeremy Corbyn lied about having to sit on the floor of a train he claimed was ram packed,...
Corbyn

Corbyn clarifies Labour position on EU saying ‘we’d sort of like to leave but...

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The Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has absolutely clarified Labour's position on the EU today in a really important speech in Coventry. He told the press...

Britain faces Sophie’s choice over which incompetent arsehole leads it

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Britain has revealed it is spoiled for choice on which incompetent aresehole it has leading it. A spokesman told us, "Everyone is cheering at the...
Titanic

Nicky Morgan claims ‘Titanic captain should not be judged by his worst mistakes’

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Nicky Morgan yesterday made a conciliatory reference to fellow Tory leadership no-hoper Michael Gove's penchant for Charlie as a naive young 31 year old...

What time is it Mr Woolfe?

Steven Woolfe, a total barrister who serves as a legal adviser to hedge fund managers and bankers narrowly missed his chance to become replacement...
Business

Labour lose 30 seats in boundary adjustment, laugh Tories

The Conservative Party and the conservative government have denied that the electoral boundary change proposals are an attempt to ensure a Conservative advantage. "It's just...
Farage in Russian hat

Nigel Farage denies any links to Russia

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Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) has appeared on BBC Breakfast TV to deny any links to the Russian Government. In an interview Mr Farage MP...

Southern Rail and RMT make historic deal

The RMT and Southern Rail have finally called an end to hostilities and announced, to the dismay of passengers, that normal services will resume...
Nuttall

UKIP Conspiracy theorists claim Paul Nuttall is being erased from history

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UKIP leader, Paul Nuttall PhD, is concerned that he is being erased from history by a shadowy group of leftist and liberal media conspirators.  He recently had to...

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