National News

UKIP leader Paul Nuttall lost 'close personal friends' when they discovered he was a bigoted, racist arsehole. “People started to shun me and sometimes even...

Dozens injured after Chris Grayling attempts to throw hat into the ring for Conservative Leadership Several hundred innocent bystanders were left with horrendous injuries, many...

The Tory Party has today promised to abolish hospital parking charges by abolishing hospitals. Tory manifesto spokesman, Bill Board told us, "We've done our research...

Head of Britain First, Paul Golding, was arrested and sentenced to prison for obsessively visiting places he supposedly hates. He reportedly hates prison too...

Camden fire chiefs are today red faced at having to admit to missing bleedin' obvious fire hazards in poor peoples' containment blocks on all...

Britain's gyms are in a state of absolute chaos as billions of people descended on them today.  It was standing room only in every single...

The Prime Minister faces another Brexit challenge today as it is revealed Royal Assent was not the final requirement to begin negotiations with the...

Long held tensions between Orthodox Vegans & followers of it's subsidiary Fruitarianism about which is the most ethical way of life finally came to...

In a monumentous speech to the House of Commons yesterday, the Brexit Minister David Davis set out the government's plans for taking Britain out...

Britain First, the right-wing political party for twats of all ages, has announced a revolutionary partnership with The Lizard People, a secretive reptilian group of aliens...

Nathan Barley led calls today for clean shaven white twats to “take responsibility for their community.” “It is imperative, at this time of national crisis,...

A woman who apparently believes she is the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom has been found wandering in Japan attempting to convince people...

A journalist at a Sheffield local newspaper has admitted that an entire article published in Friday's edition of the Sheffield Councilpleaser was constructed entirely...

Consumers concerned with the rising price of alcohol in the UK received a welcome boost today, as it was confirmed all boozers in the...

Theresa May has announced that the worst thing in the world, after Trump's hair and Boris Johnson's gob, is modern slavery. Millions will...

Jingle Bells My cell smells It's gloomy and its rank I only pissed some Muslims off Now I'm sitting in the tank. Hey Jingle Bells This is hell I don't think...