Foreigners with British citizenship MUST support England in the football, IT’S THE LAW

0
A Brazilian woman and her South African friend, who have both recently attained British citizenship, have been reported to the authorities after announcing that...

Life is meaningless and everything dies, concludes child on ‘day out’ to historic town

A child from Rochdale has concluded that life is meaningless and that everything dies during a visit to York with his parents during the...
Bearded "hipster"

Hipster twats demand clean shaven white twats condemn terror twats

1
Nathan Barley led calls today for clean shaven white twats to “take responsibility for their community.” “It is imperative, at this time of national crisis,...

Jeremy Hunt’s £44,000 office shower necessary for cleaning off his bullshit

0
“Of course Jeremy needs a shower for his office. He’s in it right now as a matter of fact. Every time he opens his mouth, he spews out so much utter bullshit that it gets all over him and he has to get cleaned up.”
Music Fesitval

This week already pissed off with itself and planning a holiday

0
Millions of Microsoft outlook users are about to receive an unexpected update in their calendars. The Rochdale Herald has just received an email from an...

Blair offers May role as Middle East Peace Envoy

5
Embattled Prime Minister Theresa May has been thrown an unexpected life line today. A surprise call from Tony Blair offering her the plum role...
Philip

Prince Philip and Queen Elizabeth facing deportation post Brexit

0
An Emergency meeting was called at Buckingham palace earlier this week after the penny dropped with Prince Philip in regards to Brexit and complications with European immigration "Oh...

Interest Rates Dropped From Naff All to Sweet FA

Bank of England catastrophe juggler, Mark Carney, made no change to interest rates this lunchtime. Rochdale savers wondering exactly what this means have had things...
fire safety experts

Fire safety experts admit fire escapes probably not best place for massive explosive gas...

1
Camden fire chiefs are today red faced at having to admit to missing bleedin' obvious fire hazards in poor peoples' containment blocks on all...
Boris Johnson

‘Shit dont stick to this, fam’ says Boris Johnson

0
Non-stick coating manufacturer Teflon has today announced a lucrative tie in with Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson. The company is believed to have lined up an...
Car Crash

Uber to consult UK Government for advice on dealing with driverless car crashes

0
Following the tragic death of a pedestrian knocked down by a driverless Uber vehicle, the taxi giant confirmed it would be consulting UK Government...
William and Kate

Prince William criticises social media firms about fake news to cover up numerous affairs...

0
Prince William has appeared at the BBC and spoken out against the inaction of social media firms. He said in a statement statement that...

Scarborough Earthquake Appeal

0
At 01:00 on Tuesday 3rd January, Britain's worst quake for 25 years hit Scarborough, Yorkshire measuring 5.2 on the Richter scale and causing untold...

Rochdale gran still using same can opener she bought in 1967

0
A Rochdale woman has been telling the Herald how she has had the same can opener for 51 years this year. Bernadette Gottelieb told us,...

Corbyn’s cat is a Tory

28
Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn has confirmed his long held suspicions that his pet cat is a died in the wool, cast iron Tory. Corbyn...

Jeremy Corbyn Guarantees Tory Win By Not Jerking Knee

0
The chance of Conservative Party rule evaporated today. Jeremy Corbyn is to talk about the nuances of foreign policy and its consequences. "It's an outrage!" stated...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts