People confused over what Testing is for

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Journalists and other easily baffled people were today up in arms that a thing being tested didn't work as planned. Idiots the country over were...
Confused Man

Men to celebrate International Men’s Day by having no idea that it’s International Men’s...

0
Men across the globe will celebrate International Men's Day today by being completely oblivious to the fact that it's International Men's Day. The annual event,...

Put a bloody jumper on if you’re cold we’re not made of money, Philip...

16
“Put a jumper on and stop fiddling with the blasted thermostat, I just got it right. If you’re that blinking cold go and walk some of those wretched dogs you insist on keeping. And I’m not talking about the Fergie's sprogs!”

Theresa May to headline Latitude Festival

2
Not to be outdone by Corbyn's appearance at Glastonbury last weekend, May hastily forms new band to perform at Latitude this July. In the kind...
Michael Gove

Michael Gove escaped ‘after gate left open’

Whitehall: A Conservative cabinet minister who went on the loose for about six hours after escaping from his enclosure has been safely recaptured. The animal,...
Entrenching Tool

Digging f#*#*#g foxholes is new black in today’s British Army

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The humble British Army entrenching tool, a short, squat, folding standard NATO issued 3-way shovel, pick and close combat weapon, has surged in popularity amongst...

Eric Bristow MBE says beaten women aren’t ‘proper men’

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The pie faced gravy rhyming bastard, who obtained Royal recognition for being good at throwing things made the comment after a series of ill...

Rochdale Chip Shop In Heartwarming Tale Of Generosity

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The owner of a Rochdale takeaway shop that delivered a bag of brown heroin to an ailing customer, along with their dinner, has said reaction to...
Boris Johnson

For Fuck’s Sake, sighs Britain

The entire United Kingdom muttered "for fuck's sake" in unision yesterday afternoon after learning that Boris Johnson has been "elected: new Conservative leader and...
Sunshine

Cumbrian Man hospitalised after lethal exposure to Vitamin D

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The recent weather worries in Cumbria worsened this morning, after 12 minutes of unseasonable partial sunshine exposed a fell walker to lethal levels of...

Brexiteers Celebrate Scrapping of Human Rights Act

1
Today The Justice Secretary announced the scrapping of The Human Rights Act as outlined in the Tory Manifesto to a room full of Sith...

BBC to Celebrate April 1st as Farage Day

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The BBC announced Saturday that it is designating Aril 1st as "Farage Day", in honour of the enormous contribution that seven times unelected former...
Boris Johnson

Boris’ Barney buggering off says barber

In a hair raising exclusive, The Rochdale Herald has discovered the secret to the frankly unhinged character of the Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson is...
BMW

300,000 BMW recalled after being found to contain faulty drivers

BMW has confirmed a second recall of hundreds of thousands of vehicles from UK roads in a year, due to problems with the cars...

Idiots declare ‘It’s officially Christmas!’ following annual sugar water advert

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The popular Coca Cola advert which includes trucks and or polar bears has aired on UK television again tonight as it does every year. Millions...

Internet expert reveals Roman Empire was predominantly black

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You heard it here last. Internet expert in everything and porn enthusiast @JailbaitPlanet has scandalised so called “experts” and “professional historians” by revealing in a...

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