Unemployed layabout doesn’t want £350m a year job shaking hands and waving
The people of the United Kingdom were reassured this morning by Prince Harry's statement that he does not want to be king and will...
Queen’s festive question for Balmoral faithful
Her Majesty The Queen has returned to the Balmoral Estate to spend time with her family over the Christmas holiday and will be attending...
New train timetables also a massive success, confirms Davis
The imposition of sweeping timetable changes on Britain's railways for the first time in 17 years has been an unmitgated success, it has been...
It’s a bit windy out
People all over the UK who have ears and access to either a door or a window have confirmed that it's a bit windy...
What time is it Mr Woolfe?
Steven Woolfe, a total barrister who serves as a legal adviser to hedge fund managers and bankers narrowly missed his chance to become replacement...
Angry northerner rises up against culture of Fake Brews
A Lancastrian man fed up with the culture of 'fake brews' currently sweeping the nation has took it upon himself to show the masses...
Man thinks they’re getting dog instead of a baby
A poor deluded fool from Rochdale has convinced himself that he and his long term partner are getting a puppy instead of a baby.
Steve...
Paul Golding’s Prison-a-thon raises £5,000 for The Refugee Council
On an uncharacteristically serious note we'd like to thank each and every person who has donated or otherwise supported Paul's campaign for The Refugee Council.
Family dog requests compassionate leave to mourn arrival of baby
Charlotte, a seven year old English Bulldog, is heart broken after a new baby was born this morning in her family.
She admits to being...
Considerate driver sold BMW by mistake
A car dealership Mike's Motors in Bolton said there were "lessons to be learned"after a careful and considerate driver was allowed to drive away...
Everybody wondering where the one car with snow on it came from
Drivers all over the UK are wondering where the hell that one car with snow on it has come from.
"Where on Earth has that...
Boost for NHS as Government pledges 50% of uncollected change from vending machines over...
The NHS received a much needed boost today, after Number 10 kindly pledged to plough a sizeable portion of uncollected change from all Government...
Scientists discover creature smaller than Theresa May’s credibility.
Biologists wielding enormous magnifying glasses today discovered a newt thought to be the world's smallest living thing.
This infinitesimal being has been proved by scientists...
God pisses himself laughing after sending hurricane named for Harvey Milk to wipe most...
God Almighty has reportedly pissed his pants laughing after sending a biblical flood to the most homophobic state in America in response to Donald...
Prince Harry ruled unfit for work by ATOS
Prince Harry has been ruled unfit for work by ATOS after attending a work capability assessment.
"The Prince was sanctioned last month after he missed...
Prince Nuttall Awakens Britain’s Slumbering Populace With A Kiss
Joyful celebrations were heard throughout the Kingdom after it was confirmed that Prince Nuttall of UKIP had awakened Princess Populace with a kiss.
Handsome Prince...
