Fuck this, we’re off to the pub say protestors
The one million protestors who were expected to topple the Tory government today collectively said “fuck this, we’re off to the pub” after temperatures...
Being a Menace when you’re called Dennis now about as plausible as being a...
The Beano have announced they are going to change one of their longest running characters names.
Despite its wonderful rhyme, bosses at the...
“It’s Warmas” declares Britain
Are you hanging loads of poppy's on the wall?
Is your granny telling you stories about fighting in the Second World War despite only being...
Wetherspoons strike causes customer to drink 4 pack of lager for breakfast
A Wetherspoons customer has been forced to drink a 4 pack of lager for breakfast today due to staff at his local Wetherspoons being...
People angry about Hillsborough weren’t even victims
Like a crowd of Paul Nuttalls, they press forward into the comments section, STOP, STOP writing right there.
“The timing is appalling, how dare you...
Local hero returns from stay in hotel with both his iPhone charger and toothbrush
A local man is being hailed as some sort of hero after managing to return home from a stay in a hotel with both...
John Lewis Christmas advert shows puppy being fed into blender
Retailer John Lewis has released its Christmas advert for 2017 which shows a cute puppy being fed into an industrial strength blender.
The eagerly anticipated...
Michel Barnier to meet Dominic Raab to tell him to fuck off in person
Dominic Raab is due to meet Michel Barnier for an intense 6 hours of being told to fuck off after asking for all the...
Chilcot recommends that Blair sit on ‘naughty step’ for Iraq war mistakes…
Sir John Chilcot has come out with excoriating criticisms of former Prime Minister Tony Blair's attempt to mislead the public and MPs over the...
I suppose we better start our Christmas shopping, say men
Men all over the world are reluctantly conceding that now might be a good time to start their Christmas shopping.
"If I start shopping at...
The light shines out of my arse, says man who got toothpaste and Anusol...
Rochdale resident Des Spondent, 46, was getting ready for work one dark morning when the mix-up occurred.
The sores in his mouth miraculously healed, and...
Quentin Letts launches #StopFundingReasonableness campaign
Quentin Letts, which is a name you may have heard, without actually knowing what it is, is apparently a man, and not an upper...
Builder finishes job on time and under budget
A small building firm in Lancashire has become the first builder in the history of the industry to finish a job on time and...
Owen Smith thrilled with shiny new campaign bus
Owen Smith is said to be delighted with his shiny new campaign bus.
"It's brilliant!" he sang. "It shits all over Corbyn's campaign bike"
Smith drew...
A year in review because I don’t know if we’ll still be here in...
If there is a god then 2016 is his version of an April fools day prank. Long gone are the days of plagues of...
Theresa May – the facts
Theresa May - the facts
She is planning to get Hello magazine to do an exclusive of her luxury life in No 10
2. She...
