Man thinks totalitarian measures the best way to honour war dead
A Bridlington man has outlined extreme measures by which people not wearing poppies on Remembrance Sunday should be punished.
This includes being subjected to death...
Foreign Office warns tourists not to travel to Iran while Boris is Foreign Secretary
In a move that has rocked the travel industry, British holidaymakers have been banned from travelling to any destination that Boris Johnson has already...
Corbyn clarifies Labour position on EU saying ‘we’d sort of like to leave but...
The Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has absolutely clarified Labour's position on the EU today in a really important speech in Coventry.
He told the press...
Trident Subs: Gotta catch ’em all
Speaking at the Nato summit in Warsaw this week, David Cameron has hinted that almost £16bn ear-marked for the renewal of the Trident nuclear...
Queen to redo speech after forgetting to say ‘strong and stable’
In an unprecedented move Theresa May is to inform Queen Elizabeth that she will need to redo today's Queen's Speech in Parliament because she...
“Go Back to where you came from!” -Say 1970’s
In a shock statement today the 1970's have told 2016 to go back to its own timeline where it belongs.
In July a third of...
Remain Voter Desperately Waiting for Pound to Die
Due to an almost pathological desire to be proven correct, a Remain voter is obsessively checking the sterling exchange rate for signs of terminal illness.
"A bad...
Martin Roberts Demands Recount.
Property botherer and dreadful chef Martin Roberts has demanded a recount following his failure to be elected President of the Jungle in this year's...
Mensa exam to be replaced by attempting to sync iTunes
International high IQ club Mensa has announced plans to scrap their famously difficult entrance exam, and replace it with a quest to negotiate Apple's...
British retail workers thrilled about opportunity to sign on using blue passport
British retail workers have revealed that they're looking forward to signing on with blue passports.
Cliff Edge told us, "Not having a job or any...
United Kingdom gobsmacked as child turns four
It was announced yesterday, with the publication of an official photograph, that a child is turning four today.
We spoke to anthropologist, Dr Kay Smallbones...
Tories to pledge crackdown on food bankers’ bonuses
A leaked copy of the Conservative Party's election manifesto has revealed plans to crackdown on 'luxury' items being handed out to those forced to...
Pink shirts are all the rage, says man who left red sock in washing...
A bloke who only wears pink shirts now is insisting that they are all the rage having washed all of his white clothes with...
City banker in sponsored sleep out confident he understands homelessness
You just get such a sense of the hardship, and how it could be addressed by just taking a little more personal responsibility
After taking...
We have no shares in Amazon as Yodel are delivering them, says Justin Welby
Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby has today explained that The Church of England doesn't actually have shares in Amazon as Yodel has never delivered...
Next leaders debate to be chaired by Jeremy Kyle and feature Boris Johnson paternity...
The next General Election leaders debate will feature a new format hosted by Jeremy Kyle. There will also be a paternity test at the...
