Michel Barnier to meet Dominic Raab to tell him to fuck off in person

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Dominic Raab is due to meet Michel Barnier for an intense 6 hours of being told to fuck off after asking for all the...

Fathers happy to ditch Father’s Day if it means Mother’s Day is canned too

2
The Rochdale Institute of Advanced Fathering has issued a statement today offering to do away with Father's Day on the condition Mother's Day goes...
En Suite

Pretentious couple install extra place to pooh in house for £20,000

A pretentious couple from Rochdale have installed another place to have a pooh in their house, for some reason. Steve and Barbara Dickinson have revealed...
Cross Eyed Man

The light shines out of my arse, says man who got toothpaste and Anusol...

8
Rochdale resident Des Spondent, 46, was getting ready for work one dark morning when the mix-up occurred. The sores in his mouth miraculously healed, and...
Tommy Robinson

Tommy Robinson disappointed Korean Barbeque wasn’t a book burning

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Tommy Robinson has been explaining his disappointment at attending what he thought would be aa Koran burning event that turned out to be a...

Winter 2016 enters third consecutive year

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Meteorologists have confirmed that winter 2016 has entered its third consecutive year. With more bloody miserable weather forecast officials at the Met Office have concluded...

Bloke donates money to charity without fingering a stranger

United Kingdom - A bloke from the United Kingdom has become the first man ever to make a donation to charity without sexually assaulting a stranger, according to reports.
Corbyn

Corbyn announces Semitic Security Divisions to combat antisemitism

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Jeremy Corbyn has found himself in a new antisemitism row. The row started following Mr Corbyn's announcement of the formation of Labour Party SS...
Children Christmas Presents

Thank you for supporting Satire Aid – 26,000 presents worth £175,000

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The numbers are now in for Satire Aid's Big Fat Secret Santa appeal. Together the readers of The Rochdale Herald, NewsThump, Angry People in...

Corbyn Calls for Alton Towers to be Nationalised as Queues for Rollercoaster hits 2...

Waiting for hours for the hope of a seat, crushed up against other in the park, or crouched uncomfortably in the queues is an...
Pope

Racists oddly quiet about global paedophile gang operating in Rochdale

Racists around the UK have been oddly quiet about the international paedophile network that has been operating in Rochdale, and everywhere else that matter, for centuries. "We usually...

No we don’t want to build a bloody snowman, confirm children

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Children around the UK have confirmed that they don't want to build another bloody snowman. With rain, sleet, snow and more bloody awful weather forecast...

Tate & Lyle sponsor cabinet meetings

After what critics are calling a feeble effort to tackle childhood obesity the government is now in hot water again as it transpired that...

Cost of posting a letter first class rises to both legs below the knee

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The rises in the cost of posting your mum's birthday card using The Royal Mail have now come into effect. A first-class stamp will now...

Corbyn press relationship hits the buffers following Traingate 

Jeremy Corbyn had an uncomfortable day today as he was asked a series of questions by journalists after being caught bullshitting about the state...

Reality of snow destroys childhood memories of it being fun

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Thousands of stay at home parents forced to play with their slack off kids all day have had to revise their 'happy childhood memories'...

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