Next leaders debate to be chaired by Jeremy Kyle and feature Boris Johnson paternity...

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The next General Election leaders debate will feature a new format hosted by Jeremy Kyle. There will also be a paternity test at the...

Belfast Orange walk to become 24k Gold walk

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The annual Orange walk of Belfast's protestant population is to take place this weekend and is expected to reveal itself now as a 24K...

Man left alone for the weekend yet to put his trousers on

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A man who’s wife has gone away for the weekend is yet to put his trousers on The Rochdale Herald has learned. Thomas Thomas of...
Rees Mogg

You lost get over it, Jacob Rees-Mogg told

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Jacob Rees-Mogg has been told to get over losing the no confidence vote in Theresa May last night. Mr Rees-Mogg heads the European Research Group...

Rupert Murdoch’s face breaks ageing app

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Media tycoon and ancient demonic scrotum, Rupert Murdoch has broken viral photo editor FaceApp, attempting to see what his face would look like in...
Alcoholics Anonymous logo

Automobile Association and Alcoholics Anonymous getting mixed up on a massive scale

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People have been mixing up the Automobile Association and Alcoholics Anonymous on a massive scale, it has emerged. Things came to a head recently when...

Bloke who described himself as inspirational and entrepreneurial on CV definitely neither

A bloke’s glowing description of himself on his CV definitely does not bear any resemblance to observations of his personality, it has emerged. During a...
Crashed Gritter Lorry

Council has enough grit

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A council in the North of England is absolutely confident that this is the year that they have bought enough grit to salt the...
For Sale Signs

You could always smother a grandparent for a house deposit, Banks advise first time...

First time buyers struggling to raise the funds for a house deposit are being advised to smother an elderly relative for the inheritance by...
Sad Dog

Family dog requests compassionate leave to mourn arrival of baby

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Charlotte, a seven year old English Bulldog, is heart broken after a new baby was born this morning in her family. She admits to being...
BMW

Considerate driver sold BMW by mistake

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A car dealership Mike's Motors in Bolton said there were "lessons to be learned"after a careful and considerate driver was allowed to drive away...
Corbyn

Fresh controversy as Corbyn pictured wearing a Beret and eating Scallops

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Jeremy Corbyn has caused fresh controversy by appearing on BBC Breakfast wearing a Beret and eating Normandy Scallops. Mr Corbyn was appearing to deny...
theresa nay laughing

Theresa May expected to announce late entrance to this years ‘I’m a Celebrity Get...

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Prime Minster, and Britain's foremost pterodactyl impersonator, Theresa May is rumoured to be announcing that she will be a last minute entrant to this...

Blair offers May role as Middle East Peace Envoy

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Embattled Prime Minister Theresa May has been thrown an unexpected life line today. A surprise call from Tony Blair offering her the plum role...
Man and Woman Arguing

Asking not to be felt up at work is hardly a takeover, sigh women

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As several leading Princes amongst Men like Charles Moore of the Telegraph and pre-Prince frogs like Quentin Letts recommend women lighten up, share power...

UKIP elects Diane James leader

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Diane James was elected the leader of UKIP yesterday and has already been causing controversy on account of not being Nigel Farage. People outside of...

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