Conspiracy theorists disappointed to learn nobody is in charge
Two Rochdale conspiracy theorists have been telling the Herald that they've come to the conclusion that nobody is in charge.
The pair, known only as...
Christmas ad not Christian enough say non church going Christians
The new Christmas advert from Tesco has caused outrage for its lack of overt Christianity, mainly from people who will go nowhere near a...
We must reverse historic mistake, says irreversible historic mistake
Everyone in the world looked at each other and asked "what the hell" yesterday after the temerity of a former political leader's comments on...
Sale of over-counter Viagra faces stiff opposition
The Women's Institute are lobbying the Health Secretary demanding that Viagra only be available through prescription and after consultation with a Doctor.
Recent changes bought...
Meghan Markle proves she’s mastered waving
Meghan Markle revealed that she's perfected the art of waving to thousands of people.
The Duchess of Sussex was appearing at the Trooping of the...
It’s not our fault you can’t afford a house, say Thatcherite geriatrics to younger...
British geriatrics were claiming victory this afternoon in the long held ‘it was better in the old days’ debate against younger demographics.
Research released by...
Prince Andrew says, I was at Pizza Express checking out Beatrice’s fit friend
Prince Andrew has today sought to clarify comments he made about attending Pizza Express in Woking 19 years ago.
A spokesman for Prince Andrew said,...
Parents of school age children feeling no sympathy for teachers as holidays end
Scientists have confirmed that parents of school age children across the United Kingdom feel zero sympathy for teachers as summer holidays crash to an...
New phrase ‘Wankers Dozen’ defined as ‘Britain First meeting’
The Rochdale to English Dictionary today confirmed it would be adding the colloquial phrase 'wankers dozen' to their 2019 edition. The R.E.D.'s official definition...
Racists are pussies
We've all seen the stories. Hate crime has risen exponentially since some of the country voted to leave the EU. We decided to talk...
Southerner changes view of North after paying less than £7 for a pint
A pig headed Southern man has reduced his negative opinion of the north by 0.00000001% after spending a delightful weekend in Heckmondwicke.
Southerner Paul Thatcher-Wright,...
Nation tries to remember why it told kids to knock on strangers’ doors for...
Did we just adjust the clocks so that it is dark by the time kids come home from school, and then teach them to...
Wise Men slam ‘unreasonable expectations’ as ‘Virgin’ Mary’s first sausage is a foot-long manger...
Some wise men have today hit back at a high street bakers claiming that their 'Foot-Long Sausage Roll' creates unrealistic expectations about baked goods....
BMW three series usage linked with being an unbearable bellend
A 25 year long study of the people who habitually buy and use BMW 3 series has concluded that they are usually "unbearable bellends."
Previous...
UKIP suspends member for reading a book
A member of UKIP was today suspended when found reading a book that does not appear on UKIP's 'approved' list.
The list, which includes...
Tommy Robinson supporter disappointed by lack of Muslim no-go areas in London
A Tommy Robinson supporter from Rochdale has told of his disappointment at discovering London isn't a Muslim no-go area dominated by Sharia Law.
Cliff Edge...
