Being a Menace when you’re called Dennis now about as plausible as being a...
The Beano have announced they are going to change one of their longest running characters names.
Despite its wonderful rhyme, bosses at the...
Scientists discover creature smaller than Theresa May’s credibility.
Biologists wielding enormous magnifying glasses today discovered a newt thought to be the world's smallest living thing.
This infinitesimal being has been proved by scientists...
Obesity Sugar Tax Only Screwing The Poor By Accident
The government is set to announce its new scheme to combat childhood obesity on Thursday, a scheme that is mostly a tax on high...
Rochdale Chip Shop In Heartwarming Tale Of Generosity
The owner of a Rochdale takeaway shop that delivered a bag of brown heroin to an ailing customer, along with their dinner, has said reaction to...
Daily Express unveils new corporate logo
The Daily Express as revealed a new corporate logo today that it says is more in keeping with how it and its readers view...
Dreadlocked protestor’s skin’s sensitivity to climate change successfully protects her from death in custody
Extinction Rebellion activist deliberately intended to get herself arrested, safely
With parts of the nation's capital experiencing air almost as clean as Rochdale's, we caught...
Life is meaningless and everything dies, concludes child on ‘day out’ to historic town
A child from Rochdale has concluded that life is meaningless and that everything dies during a visit to York with his parents during the...
Boris Johnson promises £350M a week to the recovery of the British Virgin Islands
Boris Johnson, United Kingdom Foreign Secretary and all round honest broker, took the airwaves via the Today programme this morning to promise the UK...
What are your plans for Christmas, ask Mums who have already planned everybody’s Christmas
A Rochdale Mum who has already meticulously planned her entire extended family’s Christmases has asked her children what they are planning to do on...
Government toasts success as rate of reduction in homelessness doubles
Homeless reduction is the latest resounding success for Britain's most popular female Prime Minister ever.
The May Government has shown that not only may it...
Nuclear war could be a massive boost for post Brexit British industry
A globally devastating nuclear war could prove to be a massive boost for post Brexit British industry, the UK's Secretary of State for International...
Aliens Behind Trotskist Entryism, Claims Watson
Speaking from inside a tent made entirely of tinfoil, Deputy Leader of the The Labour Party told us that Aliens from the planet Luminx8-B...
Mob smashing ambulance up fine because it’s the will of the people, confirm Brexiteers
Members of a mob that smashed up an ambulance as part of the post match celebrations yesterday were within their democratic rights according to...
Man celebrates birthday with five back to back parties for friends of his kid
Littleborough man Andrew Bowers certainly knows how to live a little, cramming in a whopping FIVE birthday parties into his 41st birthday party weekend.
They...
BBC expose puts police behind Barr’s
A shock revelation on BBC Breakfast this morning revealed that British police forces are using fizzy drink to subdue suspects.
The footage was taken from...
Theresa May admits “Brexit Bill” scrawled on back of napkin
Prime Minister Theresa May today admitted that the 'Brexit Bill', allowing her to trigger the Article 50 exit clause from the European Union had been drafted,...
