Fears 40% of millenials may never have tedious home improvement conversations
There are fears that up to 40% of millennials may never be able to have tedious home improvement conversations.
Fewer and fewer people are able...
Government should save people’s shop John Lewis says man who hasn’t been in since...
A Rochdale man has demanded that the Government step in if the retailer John Lewis goes bust. There are fears that the retailer may...
Queen to greet Donald Trump with narwhal tusk
Buckingham Palace has refused to confirm rumors that the Queen will greet Donald Trump with a narwhal tusk during his visit to the UK...
Brits shocked that Brexit is getting the blame for everything
The whole of the United Kingdom are reeling from the revelation that the EU referendum has been responsible for every bad thing that has...
Colonel Mustard blames the Housing Minister in the Cabinet Office with the Funding Cuts
Colonel Mustard has alleged that the housing minister, in the cabinet office, with the funding cuts caused the Grenfell fire.
The Colonel, wearing a...
Another Russian bloke Putin doesn’t like poisoned a coincidence, confirms Kremlin and Dorset police
The country has breathed a sigh of relief after Wiltshire Constabulary indicated that they had not had to deploy their counter-terrorism unit, it has...
People who speak in cliches to be removed from breeding population
Sociologists and linguists from Rochdale Community University have discovered that Kelvin Pastie, 31, an unemployed conspiracy theorist, speaks almost entirely in cliches.
"We first heard...
Children of hippy parents gear up for annual disappointment of ethical advent calendars
The children of hippies have been telling the Herald about how they've been preparing for receiving disappointing advent calendars.
8 year old Freedom Snowphish said,...
Vote leave caught cheating at tombola
The vote leave campaign have today received a stern glare and a verbal ticking off for cheating at the village fete tombola.
It turns out...
Children of middle class parents begin Christmas paperwork
The children of middle class parents all over the country are celebrating the rest of their holidays by doing paperwork.
Maggie May announces snap election
Theresa May, the unelected Prime Minister has called a snap election.
"Many of the old racists are likely to die before my five years are...
Wheelie Bin Cat purr-sues career as guard dog trainer
Lola the ninja feline, from Coventry, was once again discovered in a rather strange location. This time it was in a Romford working men’s...
Woman who said she’s fine really is fine
In a world first a woman from Rochdale who told her husband that she was “fine” has turned out to really be “fine”. Genuinely...
Theresa May speaks to Herald – exclusive!
The Prime Minister has faced many difficulties over the past weeks - Brexit, terrorist attacks in Manchester and London, a poor election showing and...
Kensington and Chelsea Council crowned Royal Rassclart of the Year
In a much needed triumph for the under pressure Conservative party, its leadership of the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea has received recognition...
We have no shares in Amazon as Yodel are delivering them, says Justin Welby
Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby has today explained that The Church of England doesn't actually have shares in Amazon as Yodel has never delivered...
