Corgi

Queen deciding which Corgi to shoot first if Corbyn becomes Prime Minister

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Buckingham Palace sources have reported that the Queen is currently trying to decide which of her Corgis to shoot first should Jeremy Corbyn be...
Boxer hitting punchbag

Paul Nuttall – Why I Won’t Talk About Fight Club

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Paul Nuttall O.B.E is reluctant to talk about Fight Club, the global phenomenon he founded in 1996. “Chuck and me, we don't talk about it." He...

I’ll poo wherever I like, says baby

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6 month old Tommy Leadbetter from Romford has spoken exclusively to The Rochdale Herald about how he manages his toilet regime. "First I was...

Emergency services respond to man with spade in head

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Ambulance crews were called to an address in Wigan this morning after a local man suffered head injuries. The man's wife called 999 after her...

May to offer Britain complete break from Boris Johnson

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In a last ditch attempt to win the X Factor vote tonight,the PM today took the unusual but popular step to separate Boris Johnson...
Prince Philip

Prince Philip denies sending Harry and Megan packet of mystery white powder

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The Duke of Edinburgh has strenuously denied sending Prince Harry and Megan Marckle a toxic package. The parcel was left on Harry and Megan's doorstep...
Scientists

Scientists confirm that builder’s tea is just tea

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A team of scientists from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that builder's tea is, in fact, just tea. Clarence Tetley,...

We survived Bubonic plague so we’ll probably survive Brexit, Government assures Britain

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The Government has released advice on what to do in the event of a 'no-deal' Brexit. The advice has the catchy strap line, "No-deal,...

Britons Now Incapable Of Making Any Decision Without A Referendum

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The majority of British people are now incapable of making a decision without first holding a referendum, according to a study published today. Researchers...
Bleeding figure of Christ

PC BBC bans ‘graphically violent’ crucifixion depictions for Easter

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In a controversial move, the BBC has announced it will be 'normalising' it's guidelines for showing scenes of violence, by banning all images of...
Celebrating Man

Rochdale man abandons Marxism after winning £10 on lottery

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A Rochdale resident has been explaining how winning £10 on the lottery has made him re-evaluate his position on Marxism. Shea Bukharin told the Herald,...

Anaconda, Bresciola and Carpet Top 3 Girls’ Names for 2016

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The computer that produces the list of the most popular names given to babies each year has thrown up a remarkable result in its...
Gin Drinking Middle Class

CRISIS as supermarkets RUN OUT of fancy tonic forcing MIDDLE CLASS to drink OWN...

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The sunny weather forecast for the bank holiday weekend has led to panic buying of certain summer essentials. There have been reports of chronic...
Teabag

Teabag enters second month on little plate by kettle

A teabag is currently entering its second month of lying in state on a little plate by the kettle in the kitchen. Barbara Dickinson of...

Leadsom bookies favourite in cabinet deadpool

Professional sexist and political hot potato Andrea Leadsom was under fire yesterday following revelations that her comments about motherhood in The Times during her...
Tony the Tiger

Tony the Tiger loses paw to Type 2 diabetes

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Tony the Tiger, the face of the Frosties breakfast cereal brand since 1952, has according to sources, lost a paw to Type 2 diabetes. Mr...

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