Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson spotted on side of M25 after wheels and doors fall off car

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Reports have reached the Rochdale Herald that Boris Johnson was spotted by the side of the M25 yesterday waiting for a recovery truck. One witness...
Cocker Spaniel

Cocker Spaniel has reasonable and sensible response to doorbell

Reports are coming in that a cocker spaniel has had a perfectly reasonable and sensible reaction to somebody ringing the doorbell. The incident occurred when...
Brexit Bus

4,600 redundancies at Rolls Royce was on the other bus, insist Brexiteers

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Brexiteers have been quick to point out that 4,600 people being made redundant at Rolls Royce was on a different bus to the one...

Tories to abolish hospital parking charges by abolishing hospitals

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The Tory Party has today promised to abolish hospital parking charges by abolishing hospitals. Tory manifesto spokesman, Bill Board told us, "We've done our research...
Queen and Philip

Queen’s Speech delayed as Elizabeth II seeks treatment for stress related Tourette’s 

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Security has been increased at King Edward VII hospital, where it is believed her Majesty the Queen is currently undergoing treatment for an acute...

Change of fart for Donald

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Leading language experts are calling for a change in the classification of the word 'trump'. Traditionally, it has been used as: a term for flatulence ...

Thomas Cook Launch “40% Off Term-Time Holidays” Voucher

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Holiday giant Thomas Cook have taken action after coming under pressure from the Government and consumer groups over the price of family holidays...

Government launches electric car scrappage scheme to combat CO2 shortage

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In a move that characterises the Government's inability to understand science it has been announced that they will launch an electric car scrappage scheme...

Adorable baby will grow up to be massive bellend

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The parents of an adorable baby in the borough of Rochdale were dismayed to learn today that statistically it is very likely that he...

Tears of remainers used to put out Saddleworth Moor fire

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Lancashire Fire Brigade have announced they're considering using the tears of remainers to put out the flames on the top of Saddleworth Moor. Fire Officer...

Rochdale assassination attempt foiled by rail replacement bus service

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A Russian assassination team who were tasked with assassinating an ex-spy In Rochdale were foiled by a rail replacement bus service and a strike...
Kate Middleton

Bloke In A Pub Claims Responsibility For Royal Pregnancy

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A bloke in a pub has claimed that the Duchess of Cambridge’s unborn child is his, reports have confirmed. Unemployed Willie Eckerslike, 42, from Rochdale,...

Prince Charles urges Queen to visit people infected with Coronavirus

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Prince Charles is believed to be privately urging the Queen to visit 
Man with lizard face

Britain First Announces Pact With Lizard People

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Britain First, the right-wing political party for twats of all ages, has announced a revolutionary partnership with The Lizard People, a secretive reptilian group of aliens...

Local journalist creates entire article from on line forum comments.

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A journalist at a Sheffield local newspaper has admitted that an entire article published in Friday's edition of the Sheffield Councilpleaser was constructed entirely...
Denis Skinner

Labour Conference to go ahead as Dennis Skinner with baseball bat confirmed as security

The Labour Party have announced that their conference will go ahead despite G4S laughing in their faces when begged to supply security. "We are sorry...

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