Anti-Semetism claims are part of Jewish influenced media conspiracy, claims Momentum member
A Rochdale Momentum member has told us that claims of anti-Semetism made by Chief Rabbi Ephraim Mervis are proof that there is a media...
Tube chat badges surprisingly successful
Tube Chat Badges given out to travellers on the London Underground to encourage people to talk more are said to be a surprising success,...
First shipment of British thoughts and prayers arrives in Barbuda
A cargo plane has touched down in Barbuda, carrying the first consignment of thoughts and prayers from the people of Britain.
The jet touched down...
Nuclear holocaust averted as Southern Rail selected to deliver US missile attack
A spokesman for Southern Rail confirmed to the Rochdale Herald that in view of the anticipated two day delay the four minute warning given in advance of nuclear attacks would consequently be extended to 2,880 minutes.
Suicide prevented with picture of ‘Inspirational Quote’
Clinically depressed Phil Jones, 38, was found standing on the edge of Clifton Suspension Bridge after his wife had left him last Tuesday.
Mr. Jones...
Scone versus scone pronunciation debate hits 14th consecutive hour
It's National Cream Tea Day, which means across the nation the fine china is taken off the Welsh dresser and selections of finger sandwiches...
Jeremy Hunt’s £44,000 office shower necessary for cleaning off his bullshit
“Of course Jeremy needs a shower for his office. He’s in it right now as a matter of fact. Every time he opens his mouth, he spews out so much utter bullshit that it gets all over him and he has to get cleaned up.”
Christmas ruined after husband caught shagging secretary on Christmas Eve
Christmas is officially ruined after the managing director of a local advertising agency was caught by his wife bonking his secretary on Christmas Eve.
Father...
New Heathrow runway will make getting to France easier say Brexiteers
The new runway at Heathrow airport will be completed just in time for leading Brexiteer's to use it to leave the country for villa's...
Corbyn popularity ratings soar after ZZ Top grant him keys to magic Hot Rod
In what would at first glance appear to be a complete and utter ripoff of an Onion article dating back to 1997, Labour Party...
Parents of school age children feeling no sympathy for teachers as holidays end
Scientists have confirmed that parents of school age children across the United Kingdom feel zero sympathy for teachers as summer holidays crash to an...
Emergency services respond to man with spade in head
Ambulance crews were called to an address in Wigan this morning after a local man suffered head injuries.
The man's wife called 999 after her...
53 year old man killed in gigantic pants fire
A 53 year-old man killed in a gigantic pants fire at his home in Upper Wally in Oxfordshire has been described by former colleagues...
May to offer Britain complete break from Boris Johnson
In a last ditch attempt to win the X Factor vote tonight,the PM today took the unusual but popular step to separate Boris Johnson...
Rochdale man abandons Marxism after winning £10 on lottery
A Rochdale resident has been explaining how winning £10 on the lottery has made him re-evaluate his position on Marxism.
Shea Bukharin told the Herald,...
Dog looking forward to “cower under the toilet night” this weekend
A dog has told of his love of the 5th of November festivities, or "cower under the toilet night" as it's known in the...
