Sir John Chilcot has come out with excoriating criticisms of former Prime Minister Tony Blair’s attempt to mislead the public and MPs over the invasion of Iraq and has recommended stringent action be taken to punish the haloed saintly legend.

“There is no doubt that what he (Tony Blair) did was horribly wrong and the man needs to be harshly punished for these crimes. Accordingly, I will recommend that Mr Blair be forced to sit on the naughty step all morning…”, said Sir John.

Such punishment is unprecedented – normally the maximum amount of time anyone sits on the naughty step  is 20 minutes or so, but severity of Blair’s offence has demanded a harsh response, with some members of the public proposing that he should also be made to wear a dunce cap.

Blair has said that he accepts that he has been a very naughty boy and has asked for the step to be cushioned as he suffers from piles, for which he is receiving magical crystalline rebirthing therapy and has a letter from his mum saying that he has his period and needs to be excused.

A special naughty step will be constructed outside the Tower of London and security forces will be on standby to prevent the throwing of rotten fruit or the hurling of abuse.

Mr Blair has the right to appeal, but nobody seems to find him very appealing.