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Turkish voters refuse to believe Erdogan a dictator till they see it written on...

Turkish voters across the country are still refusing to believe that Erdogan is an autocratic dictator despite the fact that he's locked up all the opposition journalists. "We need to see it on a big...

Luftwaffe didn’t tell Hitler about every bomb dropped, just sayin, Spicer tells press corps

Sean Spicer has put rumours to rest that Hawkish generals in the United States military are deploying military assets without Presidential authorisation. "Look I know it's been a shitty week for comparing stuff to Hitler...
Massive Bomb

Dropping Massive Bomb on Afghanistan not warning to North Korea Spicer tells press conference

The fact that Americans have used a big fuck-off bomb when North Korea and Trump are engaged in a major sabre rattle is just coincidence, the Whitehouse has claimed. “We realise that the timing of...

Chemical Attack was fake news says Asshat

Bashir Assad has denied an attack on Khan Sheikhoun ever took place. “The attack was a fiction of the Western press,” said the Syrian leader who previously said by proxy that it was an attack...
Trump

Trump turns down White House sexual harassment course because ‘I’m already pretty good at...

News broke this morning that Donald Trump has turned down an offer from the White House human resources department to attend a special course on sexual harassment citing that he is already pretty damn...

Putin joins America in suffering from Trumpgret

Relations between the US and the Russian Federation have deteriorated since Trump became president, says Vladimir Putin. "Listen, sweetie dahling, I thought rigging the elections would be doing ourselves a favour," Mr Putin told...
Melania Trump

Melania did not have sex with horrible old men for money admits Daily Mail

The Daily Mail have gone on the record today to say that Melania Trump did not and never has had sex with any horrible old men for money. "Melania has definitely never had sex with...

Melania Trump is nothing like Eva Braun, she didn’t get tits out for money...

Sean Spicer has put his foot in mouth again today by accidentally drawing comparisons between Hitler's wife, Eva Braun, and the First Lady, Melania Trump. "Stop making mountains out of molehills." Spicer screamed at The...
Sean Spicer

Sean Spicer suspended from Labour Party over Hitler comments

Tom Watson has announced this morning that the White House press secretary, Sean Spicer is to be investigated by the Labour Party for anti-Semitic remarks and bringing the Labour Party into disrepute. Spicer, who is...
Gibraltar

Downing Street Confirms Gibraltar To Be Closed Down

Downing Street has confirmed that Gibraltar is to be closed. With the success of Brexit guaranteeing the ability to launder money in the U.K., at home, Gibraltar has outlived its purpose. "It's not like we'll need...
Kim Jong Un

Kim Jong Un claims he is six months away from being able to launch...

In a further act of provocation, North Korea says it has conducted yet another controversial social message test. The claim was bellowed out over the regime's single television channel by an announcer, standing without a...

Barclays customer sent to Guantanamo after overdraft complaint

A Rochdale man has been kidnapped by US intelligence services and sent to Guantanamo Bay after he complained to his local Barclays Bank about high overdraft charges. Quentin D. Fortesqueue, editor of The Rochdale Herald,...
Boris Johnson

Downing Street all go for Bojo Moscow no show

Downing Street has defended its decision not to send Boris Johnson to Russia on Monday. The decision came in the aftermath of the chemical weapons attack and America’s response. “We thought that with them expecting a...
Brexiter

Brexiter fury as Europe steals patented British Divide and Conquer negotiating strategy

Brexiters across this once mighty country were swearing into their fry ups this morning with the discovery the EU has a negotiating strategy. "It's just like them." W Kemp commented. "They've bled us dry for...

British Tomahawks Launched As Part Of U.S. Strike Hit Aledo

It has been revealed that as part of Donald Trump's assault on Syria, two British missiles were launched. These missiles were said to be targeted at Aleppo, but in fact hit the small municipality...

Disney Confirm Little Mermaid Killed By North Korean Missile Launch

Within the past few minutes the Walt Disney Company has released a statement confirming that Ariel, the Little Mermaid, was killed during Wednesday's North Korean missile launch. Disney provided that Ariel, who had been visiting...

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