9.2 C
Rochdale, UK
Home International News

International News

What’s Johnny Foreigner up to?

Nigel Farage

Breaking: The person trespassing on the White House has been revealed as Nigel Farage

A spokesperson for White House Security has just confirmed that the intruder apprehended today was Nigel Farage. Mr. Farage was promptly arrested after scaling the wall of the White House habitation wing carrying a rucksack. Amongst...

EU designates British cockwombles “endangered species”

Indigenous British cockwombles have been given official European Union "endangered species" designation as their numbers have plummeted due to loss of habitat to invasive foreign sock puppets. The new listing makes it illegal for residents...

Terrorists rejoice at lower energy bills as Jihadis unplug TVs

Terrorists worldwide are saving money on their energy bills as millions of Jihadis unplug their Samsung smart TVs from mains sockets. The move comes after revelations that the CIA and GCHQ have hacked into the...

Leave campaigner forced to abandon argument after forgetting what Brexit means

Panic today as vocal anti-EU campaigner, Dennis Pigwater, forgot a crucial piece of his argument during an online debate. Dennis, 58, from Rochdale, was engaged in his favourite pastime of debating politics on social media...

White House CCTV confirms Obama listening to Trump in Oval Office

Secret Service agents are reviewing White House CCTV footage this morning which Donald Trump believes show Obama inside the White House. The footage, captured in a storage room adjoining the Oval Office, appears to show...

Hammond to Create National Hoard

In advance of Brexit negotiations Phillip Hammond is to bury all of the country's wealth in a hole in the ground. The hole, believed to be planned for a field in Staffordshire, will include the...

Trump wears tinfoil hat to stop Obama hearing his thoughts…

President Donald J. Trump has come up with an ingenious solution to prevent Obama from ‘spying on his thoughts’. He now wears a tinfoil hat in the White House and is equipping all his...

William and Kate To Tour North Korea

Prince William and Kate Middleton are to take a break from producing sovereigns for the Royal Mint and tour North Korea. Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson has personally arranged the trip, most likely by accident. Mr....

Nuttall Claims Best Actor At Oscars

Armenian born British Actor Constantine Felangi, better known by his stage name of Paul Nuttall, seized the coveted golden statue for Best Actor at the Oscars last night. The award, given for Nuttall's provocative portrayal...

UK border agency given right to conduct posthumous deportations

The UK border agency has been given the green light to start deporting the interred remains of people not born in the UK, a spokesman for the Agency confirmed to the Rochdale Herald Monday. The...

Trump Introduces 2020 Presidential Campaign Mascot

President Trump took to the stage in Nuremberg, Florida, on Saturday in front of a crowd seen from space, to unveil his mascot for the 2020 presidential campaign. "He's called Dumpy!" President Trump beamed, as...

Trump barred from White House toilets

President Donald Trump has been the first victim of his cancellation of orders compelling universities and other institutions to respect personal identity. Although rescinding the orders was expected to only affect libtard and snowflake university students, and make...

New cold war looms as Trump aspires to make American prostitutes better than Russian...

Concern that America is falling behind Russia in the pay-for-sex industry was allayed last night after President Donald J Trump announced a new ‘hooker race’ with market leaders Russia. “Russian prostitutes have been, in my...

Rochdale Herald boycotts future White House coverage

In a shock announcement, the Founding Editor of this esteemed organ has declared it will be withdrawing from future coverage of the current White House administration. Quentin D. Fortesqueue explained, "The purpose of the Rochdale Herald is...

Trump says IKEA table he ordered arrived ‘pre-blown up’

President Donald J Trump is convinced that ‘something bigly bad’ has gone down in Sweden, after a dining table he ordered from IKEA arrived ‘pre-exploded, all in bits’. The billionaire had ordered the ‘top of...

Trump Replaces White House With Blimp

President Donald Trump took to the skies over Washington today in a giant, orange blimp. The President is believed to have made the decision in keeping with his campaign promise to never stop surprising...

Follow_on_AppleNews_wht_badge_RGB_US-UK

Popular Posts

Connect!