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Trump

Trump allowed to leave Whitehouse on his own for first time

President Trump has arrived in Saudi Arabia on the first leg of his International tour. Before landing Mr Trump told the Herald, "We have much in common with Saudi Arabia. I like to promote members of my...
Julian Assange

Julian Assange unveils plans to have quiet weekend in front of the TV

Julian Assange has tonight been giving a speech outlining his plans for the weekend. Mr Assange who, was told today by a Swedish prosecutor that rape charges have been dropped made the speech outside the Ecuadorian embassy. In...
Drinking

Consternation as Britain drops out of top 10 drinking nations

There was consternation last night when it was revealed that the United Kingdom has dropped to 12 in the global drinking league tables. The country has always previously been able to rely on being a top...
Putin

Trump presidency result of Putin prank phone call

Russian President and superstar house elf, Vladimir Putin, has revealed that the whole Trump/Russia thing is a prank that went too far. “Trump come to us and say I spy for you and you win...
Sergei Lavrov

Kremlin accuse American spooks of lying to Trump

The Kremlin has accused America's security services of treasonous behaviour after Lavrov's love in with Trump. A spokesman for the Kremlin released the following warning to Americans. "These so called national security services you have, they are...
Putin White Denim

Putin to sing ‘This land is my land’ at Eurovision tonight

Russia today announced suprise plans to enter the Eurovision song contest tonight. The Russian entry is to be sung by Vladimir Putin and is entitled "This land is my land." The Rochdale Herald can reveal that the song...

Ernst Stavro Blofeld a serious contender for Head of FBI

The White House has announced this morning that Blofeld is on the shortlist for the next head of the FBI following Comey's sacking yesterday.
Sergei Lavrov

Sergei Lavrov Trump’s ‘Top Choice’ for new FBI Director

Sources within the Trump administration have downplayed rumours that Russian diplomat Sergei Lavrov is in the running to become the next Director of the FBI. Lavrov, who was appointed Russia’s Foreign Minister in 2004, is...
Macron

Macron roasts Le Swan

Emmanuel Macron last night served up a beautifully roasted swan at his victory dinner. The new French President was celebrating his victory with close supporters at a private event in Paris when he wowed...
Nigel Farage with Hitler moustache

Farage Demands Second French Presidential Election

Nigel Farage has claimed the victory of Macron over Le Pen of 65% v 35% is scandalous. Just inappropriate. Undemocratic. Pathetic. "Fifty two to forty eight. That's the proper margin. That allows those like myself...
Bomb Squad

May tells Merkel,”This is just a taste of what I’ve got”.

News reports this morning state that the entire city of Hannover is to be evacuated following the discovery of numerous unexploded WW2 bombs. Apparently, Theresa May ordered the ordinance dropped on the German city to...
Golden eagle

Birds of Prey sue rock band the Eagles

In a landmark case the popular American rock band The Eagles are being sued by a flock of birds for use of the band's name. The Eagles, who won a Grammy for their album Hotel...
Refugee Children

Refugee children launch crowdfunding campaign to buy Ivanka Trump a Spa Day

Asylum seekers were devastated to learn today in an article in The Independent that Ivanka Trump, daughter of the megalomaniac and golf enthusiast Donald Trump, has been so busy with work that she hasn't...
Trial by Combat

Theresa May demands Trial by Combat to avoid EU trade negotiations

Theresa May has taken the unusual decision to demand a trial by combat rather than face the EU over the table at trade negotiations.  She reportedly told a press conference in Italy yesterday that: "I am...

UKIP reveal solution to ‘Irish Problem’

Paul Nuttall revealed UKIP's Irish policy this afternoon and raised more hair than usual. "It's clear Ireland is a problem as the United Kingdom hurtles towards both independence and patriotic destiny." Mr. Nuttall pointed to a...

New EU rules send shock waves through the terraces

New EU rules are set to send shock waves through the football terraces of the UK. According to sources close to the FA, the European Parliament's Fair Trade Advocacy Office in conjunction with the...

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