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What’s Johnny Foreigner up to?

Have you tried turning Trump off and on again…

Technicians were called out this week to reboot Donald Trump, after a catastrophic failure in his programming left him arguing with his own reflection. The call was made on Friday morning, after an aide who...

Pathetic spoilt lying child learns lying works both ways

A nursery class somewhere in the US was reportedly in turmoil yesterday.  The usual relative calm was shattered by a screaming blubber-baby having a foot stamping tantrum fit after realising somebody had used his own...

Dead Kennedys to perform at Trump inauguration

Hard core punk rockers, Dead Kennedys, have agreed to perform at Donald Trump's inauguration after Susan Boyle was forced to cancel. SuBo was due to perform the Dead Kennedys classic 1981 punk anthem 'Too Drunk...

Director of CIA asks Jason Bourne to drop in on Trump for a ‘quiet...

The Director of The CIA, John O'Brennan, asked Jason Bourne to pop over to Trump Tower. Following allegations Donald Trump made about the US intelligence community leaking reports of recordings of alleged encounters with Eastern...

“Are we living in Nazi Germany?” Tweets man backed by Neo-Nazis.

Without any inkling of irony at all, a man who has the support of the USA's best and brightest Neo-Nazi....sorry, Alt-Right groups, and who plans to intern Mexicans and create a register of Muslims...

Meryl Streep to sing Golden Shower of Hits by The Circle Jerks at Trump...

Meryl Streep has offered an olive branch to US President-elect Donald Trump following their Twitter spat earlier this week.

It’s not nepotism it’s just a coincidence he’s my son-in-law says Trump

World breathes a collective sigh of relief as journalist who met Jared Kuschner claims “he should make you feel more comfortable”.

Car bombs not as bad as nicking stationery insists Martin ‘I’m a politician’ McGuiness

Former number three in the Irish presidential election Seamus Martin Pointa McGuinness has resigned from his position as Deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland. The resignation comes after the DUP repeatedly took more than their...

Am I Mexican? Ask Trump voters after he says USA will pay for Wall

The recently announced decision that the wall between Mexico and the USA will be built using American taxpayers money under a piece of legislation drawn up and abandoned by the George W Bush administration...

Bad guys with guns get more practice complain good guys with guns

Good guys with guns in America went on the record this morning to complain they're unfairly getting a bad reputation after failing to prevent the 2078th successive mass shooting since 2,000.

Australian Government launches plan to solve poverty by fining poor people

It has been revealed that secret meetings between the Prime Minister’s office and the Australian Federal Police has culminated in Operation Integrity, a scheme designed to push as many welfare recipients as possible, over the edge.
Tim Nice But Dim

Tim Nice But Dim appointed UK Ambassador to the EU

In a surprise move Theresa May has appointed Tim Nice But Dim UK Amabassador to the EU.

Trump Team Dismiss 9 Year-Old ‘Body Swap’ Claims

A spokesperson for Donald Trump has described as “absurd” claims being made by a Wisconsin couple that the President-elect is actually their 9 year-old son.  Mike and Barbara Greenhorn told reporters that they believe the 70 year-old businessman...

Twitter activists shocked that hashtags haven’t eliminated police violence

More than two years after the fatal shooting of teenager Michael Brown, which led to widespread protests against police brutality across the U.S., many Twitter activists are shocked to discover that their hashtag campaigns...
Lego logo

Lego let go of Trump

It has been revealed this week that toy manufacturing giants Lego will not produce a figure of president elect Donald Trump. Many have regarded this as a move to demonstrate opposition towards the hate-filled, racist,...

Russian Government Denies Hacking Rochdale Herald

The Russian Government has reacted angrily towards allegations that it was responsible for hacking UK news site The Rochdale Herald. The Herald, which is regularly voted ‘Rochdale’s Most Popular News Site With Herald In...

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