Politics

All the hard political questions have now been thrown at Jeremy Corbyn and Owen Smith in their hustings, including asking if they recognised Ant and Dec, the loveable TV personalities (it says here) from...

Britain's oldest island refugee centre, Australia, is to be closed following reports of inhumane conditions and bonkers management. The centre, set up in 1770, has seen controversy after controversy during its operation but will now...

It was revealed today that a Blairite peer, a hedge fund manager, several rich business types and a Liberal Democrat Lord were behind the organisation within Labour called 'Labour Tomorrow.' The group's mission is to...

The owner of a Villa in Alicante is said to be furious after discovering the Danczuk's had been holidaying in his property. Simon Danczuk, God bothering pornography enthusiast, creative accountant, serial text pest and part-time...

In a speech today Labour leadership candidate Owen Smith has revealed that bears have secret plans to defecate in the woods. In a hustings earlier he said "Under the Conservative government, the instances of bears...

In another extraordinary turn of events in Australian, "She'll be right mate" politics, opposition leader, William Shortcake has been ridiculed in a Parliamentary Inquiry with an ironic twist.  Mr Shortcake demanded a Parliamentary Inquiry in...

Wanky-named cod impersonator and Labour MP Thangar Debonairre (ironically in charge of modern culture!) was recently told to "Get in the sea," by a student of Bristol University. The Labour MP then reported this as...

In an extraordinary turn of events in Australia Opposition Immigration Minister Aidan Androyd has declared the "necessity for this Royal Commission." "Well, I tried to implement a Royal Commission into the treatment of asylum seekers...

The NEC of the Labour Party has won on appeal its right to lie its arse off in order to get three quid out of the working class. The original case was brought by five...

There was jubilation in Rochdale this afternoon as Clifford Savile Associates PLC announced their entry into the FTSE 250 for the first time. The news follows their recent multi-million pound crisis management contract with serial...

Speaking from inside a tent made entirely of tinfoil, Deputy Leader of the The Labour Party told us that Aliens from the planet Luminx8-B Delta are responsible for the entryist tactics that he now...

Rochdale DFS announced the first end of a sale for a decade after running out of sofas yesterday. DFS customers in Rochdale are expected to be paying full price for sofas and hearth rugs for...

Today the government announced the controversial plan to tax all cat owners by making cat licenses mandatory. The move could bring a much needed £89 billion in revenue from single middle aged women alone, with...

In news that feels like it should be satire but is in fact oddly true, Dr David Duke, the Grand Wizard of The Ku Klux Klan, is polling better amongst black voters in his...

Ofsted chairman and former complete banker David W Hoare is in hot water again after, according to our anonymous source, allegedly describing our beloved Rochdale as "essentially a giant neanderthal public toilet block," where...

White House officials were said to be furious today after Trump supporters burned a cross on the South Lawn last night. The BBQ, which was part of a series of cultural events showcasing the rich...