Lib Dem election breakthrough as Tim Farron recognised in Tesco Express
The Liberal Democrats are said to be heartened by the progress they've made in this election campaign after reports that a member of the...
Tories fined £20 million for pumping untreated sewage into people’s brains
The Conservatives are facing a hefty fine after it has been discovered that their manifesto pledges and reassurances over Brexit were found to contain...
Disastrous mistake warns stopping Brexit would be disastrous mistake
A disastrous mistake will warn derailing Brexit will be a disastrous mistake in a speech about a falling over in public later today.
In a...
Substitute teacher to stand in for Theresa May in hope of improving cabinet discipline
Wilma Beard, a graduate teacher on the books of an education supply agency, has been contracted to fill in for Theresa May in the...
Dianne Abbott’s ex-husband confirms she often gets headaches
Dianne Abbott's ex-husband has put to bed rumours that Dianne was merely pulling a sicky to avoid casting her vote for Article 50 by...
Government Set to Outlaw Prime Numbers
In a surprise announcement this morning, it has emerged that the Government has released a White Paper aimed at criminalising the use of prime...
UKIP appoint woman who put that cat in wheelie bin as advisor on cat...
The collection of gammon faced halfwits known as the UK Independence party has appointed the internationally famous cat abuser Mary Bale as an advisor...
Move classrooms into pubs, says government
After Ministers were forced to make a choice between opening schools in September or keeping pubs open, the government has decided to move classes...
Michael Gove is somebody’s favourite for something
Michael Gove's mum has spoken of her delight this morning after her son was described as somebody's favourite, including her's, for the first time...
Boris meant Saudis are awesome says Defence Secretary Michael Fallon
Boris Johnson’s words on Saudi Arabia and other Middle East powers were misreported, according to a clearly desperate Defence Secretary Sir Mr Michael of Fallon.
‘Shit dont stick to this, fam’ says Boris Johnson
Non-stick coating manufacturer Teflon has today announced a lucrative tie in with Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson.
The company is believed to have lined up an...
“Messiah” Corbyn Denies Anti-Semitism as Links to ‘People’s Front of Judea’ Emerge
Jeremy Corbyn was today forced to again deny claims of Anti-Semitism after it emerged that he had "strong links" to the Palestinian terrorist organisation...
Poll reveals public wants good old fashioned political sex scandal
A Herald survey reveals that public perception of politicians lean towards disappointment at them not having any juicy sex scandals anymore.
Carried out at the...
Corbyn Backs May In Commons Vote Again
"I'm sure I can remember one, if you just give me a minute." Jeremy Corbyn replied this afternoon, following the Commons vote to call...
Council election draw decided by ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’
In a remarkable turn of events, there have been two draws in results in the Local Council elections.
Northumberland County Council saw Conservative and Liberal...
Stubborn turd refuses to flush
A massive turd that is blocking the downstairs bog next to the Cabinet Meeting Room in Downing Street has been studiously ignoring hints that...
