Politics

Nigel Farage has announced today he is planning to quit politics to become leader of UKIP, again.

Her Majesty the Queen is expected to travel to Berlin later today to ask German Chancellor Angela Merkel to form a government for the United Kingdom. This morning the royal spokesperson stated, "With such a pathetic...

In light of the slim Conservative majority, primary school children up and down the nation awake today uncertain of their future meal prospects. "Will I still get some fish fingers, chips and peas at dinner...

Humbled by her failed election gambit Theresa May today announced a new policy to resolve the social care funding crisis which torpedoed her election campaign. "From Monday," Mrs. May said on the step at No....

The results are in and Theresa May is to remain Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, sort of, probably for a bit at least and maybe for longer than that. Perhaps. Or maybe not. "For...

The winners of the 2017 election are despondent today as they downheartedly celebrate their victory. “Yay. Fandabby bloody dozey,” said Conservative Unionist National Tory Society spokesman, Barry Meenow, “The people have spoken. Hurrah. Unfortunately they...

"A coalition? No absolutely not we will not do it" said Tim Farron, earlier today at the Westminster bar. However, moments later the Liberal Democrat leader was was asked to produce his ID to purchase...

Theresa May made the announcement after exit polls suggest that no single party will be able to form a government. "Let me be very clear on this," she said, repeatedly. "Anarchy is preferable to...

Amber Rudd tonight accepted a role as full-time spokesperson for Theresa May. The Herald asked Amber what caused her seat to turn Red, and she advised: "In my capacity as Shadow Prime Minister, I was quite...

After repeated catastrophic errors by delinquent absentee management, the British Leyland and Unionists Party is on the edge of failure. The Tory Party has long been thought by a few, if not by many, to...

Tim Farron spoke of his relief this evening as he accepted Theresa May's offer of a coalition government on the condition of an anti-Brexit agenda. Cleverly Farron avoided discussion of tuition fees during the election...

Prime Minister Theresa May will change her name to Votey McVoteface ahead of this Thursday's general election. With the election a matter of hours away and with Jeremy Corbyn's Labour Party snapping at the Tories'...

Home Sec Diane Abbott has been off sick since cancelling her appearance on Woman's Hour yesterday but has she been sacked? Jeremy Corbyn was giving nothing away when he told BBC Breakfast that she had...

Historians specialising in migration to the British Isles have confirmed that Paul Nuttall actually got something technically right after his Women’s Hour interview this morning. “He claimed on LBC that before migration our fruit was...

Jeremy Corbyn and Diane Abbott have taken the bold step to thoroughly condemn the actions of ISIS supporters this week and are preparing to take extreme measures if they don't start being a bit...

UKIP leader Paul Nuttall has caused outrage today by Issuing a call for a ban on dwarves and "midgets and really just anyone suspiciously short." He justified his call by stating that "What's the matter...