May red faced after failure to personally deliver EU nationals deportation letters
The Office of the Prime Minister Theresa May served up a rare slice of humble pie as Ms May apologised for not personally handing...
Don’t buy the Daily Mail on 31 August
It's the 20th anniversary of the death of Princess Diana. Remember her, if you will. Pray for her and her family, if that's your...
Pound hitting 8 year low nothing to do with Brexit Professor at University of...
Professor Cliff Edge has been quick out of the blocks today to reassure the public that the pound hitting an eight year low against...
Wayne Rooney retires from International Football to spend more time with other people’s grandmas
Wayne Rooney has announced that he intends to spend more time with other peoples grandmothers after retiring from international football.
Rooney explained, "I've been all...
Jacob Rees-Mogg descended from German immigrants genieologists confirm
Plans by eccentric far right conservative politician Jacob Rees-Mogg to be elected leader of the Conservative party have been delivered a body blow as...
Amazon issues cease and desist order against Moon, claiming copyright on e-clipse
Online megatrader Amazon has issued a cease and desist order against the Moon, obliging the satellite to end its intended traverse between the Sun...
Survey reveals homeless choose to live on streets so they cannot appear on Come...
To many, the issue of homelessness invokes thoughts of a person falling on hard times, perhaps even drink, drugs, or criminality. Now, the latest...
Climate change deniers blame solar panels for sucking all the light out of the...
Climate change deniers took to social media today to decry the damage being done by solar panels to the sun, which they blame for...
Katie Price Fails 5 Minutes Into Her Attempt To Go A Whole Day Without...
Three days ago the former glamour model Katie Price, also known as Libya, attempted to last a whole day without doing anything to publicise...
Saint George will be denied entry visa under proposed post Brexit immigration rules
Brexiters across the land were furious today with the news that proposed changes to immigration rules after Brexit make it highly likely Saint George...
Mariah Carey records shock cover of Dead Kennedy’s ‘Nazi Punks Fuck Off’ in support...
Born again Christian pop singer and self styled "voice of the MTV generation" Mariah Carey, has sent shock waves through tin pan alley with...
Stephen Hawking hasn’t got a leg to stand on, says Jeremy Hunt
Health Secretary Jeremy C. Hunt has responded to Hawking's criticism of NHS reforms in a series of tweets, which are pompous even by Hunt's...
Massive bell end demands to hear massive bell end our EU relationship
Jacob Rees-moog is leading a rabble of conservative political bell ends drunk on Prosecco demanding to hear a big bell chime on the day...
Bruce Forsyth’s inheritance to be shown on conveyor belt for family members to remember
If the children of the late Sir Bruce Forsyth wish to inherit his estate, they must remember the individual parts of it that they...
Stephen Hawking’s next book titled A Brief History of C*nts
Stephen Hawking is well regarded as the largest living brain in Britain and someone whose opinions are worth serious consideration, while Mr Hunt as something rather different.
Sir Bruce Forsyth declared fit for work by ATOS
British television legend Sir Bruce Forsyth has died at the age of 89 of a chest infection.
Bruce was well known for his dancing and...
