Trump Press Secretary buys fireproof underpants

1
The secret of Press Secretary Sean Spicer's propensity for hyperbolic bullshitacity has been revealed.  He has reportedly been wearing a revolutionary new type of asbestos...

Some like it…NOT! Monroe fan’s £8k new look more like man’s best friend than...

0
French waiter Cyril Roux is a HUGE Marilyn Monroe fan. 'I guess you could say I'm addicted to injections,' mumbles Cyril Roux, a 32-year-old waiter...
Champagne Socialist

“Are we middle class?” Ask champagne swilling corbynistas

38
A group of friends from Rochdale have come to the horrible realisation that they maybe middle class. Julian "Trotsky" Bennett told us, "We're committed to...

Crystal Maze to return as literally no ideas left

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The Crystal Maze is set to return our screens, again; "The barrel has no bottom. There's nothing left to scrape anymore. This is it." Said...
Donald Trump

President Trump tells reporter to ‘lick my donkey balls’ and denies Donald Trump jnr...

3
Donald Trump mounted a sustained attack on the media during a fiery and at times chaotic news conference today, aggressively denying that Donald Trump...

Huddersfield Town veterans prepared for step up in pace

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Senior members of the Huddersfield Town squad today confirmed that they have no concerns about promotion. “I took some advice about staying fit for...

Liberal Democrats now so wet they’re considered homeopathic

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A stink has been kicking up this week after the British Homeopathic Association were forced to distance themselves from the Liberal Democrats after a northern fake newspaper editor claimed The Lib Dems were less effective than homeopathy.

Prince Charles spotted throne shopping in Harrods

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The big eared flower whisperer was spotted earlier today looking at thrones and sceptres in the London department store it has been reported. "He was...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn branded anti-Semitic after celebrating crucifixion of Jewish man

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Jeremy Corbyn has been forced to deny further allegations of anti-Semitism after being spotted celebrating the crucifixion of a Jewish man. The Jewish man in...

Jesus admits to slamming doors of heaven on Jehovah’s Witnesses

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There was consternation today as Jesus revealed to The Rochdale Herald that he slams the doors of heaven in the faces of Jehovah's Witnesses. Jesus...
Donald Trump

Donald Trump to let Donald Trump fail now as it will be a lot...

0
Donald Trump has decided to extend his executive decision concerning repealing Obamacare to his entire presidency. It is believed the most successful man ever to...

Boris Upsets Sturgeon Over Calls for New Indyref

Boris Johnson today ran into further hot water, or perhaps hot oil, over comments responding to Nicola Sturgeon's view that only an Independent Scotland...

Donald Trump Twitter Account wins Nobel Prize for fiction

The American character actor, author and comedian behind the Twitter Account, @realdonaldtrump, has scooped the Nobel Prize award for the best work of fiction...
kitten

Purrverted Cliff Richard raped my cat

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A woman has come forward claiming Sir Cliff Richard raped her cat while staying at her family home in Heywood. The fresh accusations will come...
Anger as southerners omit cockwomble from the OFCOM Swearing Top 10

New 2017 Celebrity Death Programming

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In a surprise announcement today, the BBC revealed its strategy for recovering an audience lost by the betrayal of Paul Hollywood and his "Fakey Cakey...

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