Grenfell Tower survivors offer Michael Gove their last five pounds to bugger off
Survivors of the Grenfell Tower disaster suffered a further shock last night when esteemed Tory minister Michael Gove was spotted in the vicinity.
It's believed...
Three Tenors worth only £17.93 after Brexit
Outraged music lovers everywhere have been devastated by the news that Brexit will cause the Three Tenors to be devalued to £17.93.
Observers have noted...
Comic Relief to be just Michael McIntyre and a bunch of Russells in future
The BBC announced today that all future Comic Relief events will simply be Michael McIntyre and people called Russell running around and doing observational...
Corbyn sharing platform with people he disagreed with to create peace, says man in...
A man who is wearing a t-shirt that reads "Hang the Tories" is insisting that Jeremy Corbyn is an example to everybody for his...
Shitheads get new jobs
London - A bunch of irrelevant shitheads all got new jobs today in London. Theresa May is currently reshuffling the pack of lizards who would...
Rose Gold for afternoon strolls
After a 112 year wait to prove how good we are at walking slowly around a park Britain's Justin Rose yesterday casually sealed gold...
Socialism just a phase says privately educated Cambridge graduate Blairite quitting Labour for V&A
Tristram Hunt had "returned to the fold" and told his friends and family that "his life a socialist was just a phase".
Power hungry arseholes also pervy fuckers shocker
The United Kingdom is in shock this week after an all-party think tank found that power hungry arseholes of all political persuasions are also...
Lords Punish May With Dance
Prime Minister Theresa May attempted to intimidate The Lords this evening with a “dance off”.
And failed terribly.
A furious May entered the Lords...
Millenials believe Stalin killed more people than Blair
A recent survey of little shits proved that they know absolutely nothing about history, even though you can't prize Google from their tiny ungrateful...
Tory membership livid at Leadsom withdrawal
Tory Party Members up and down the country are reported to be livid that the withdrawal of Andrea Leadsom has robbed them of their...
What’s wrong with asking your secretary to buy you a dildo, asks complete dildo
The king of Dildos and soon to be former International Trade Minister Mark Garnier is to investigated over a potential breach of the ministerial code after he admitted to asking a former parliamentary aide to buy him a dildo
Star Wars fan admits films a bit shit really
Massive Star Wars fan Derek Ducaccus has admitted that the entire series on the whole is a "bit shit if he was being honest."...
