Other News

The Trident nuclear deterrent was today put up for sale on Ebay by the UK.  It is believed that the nuclear weapon system was bought on impulse when the country was having a mid-century crisis,...

Foreign to the truth Secretary Boris Johnson has attempted to evade responsibility for the calamity that Brexit has become by allegedly claiming he was under the influence every time he spoke on the subject...

 In the short film to be aired later this week on Channel 4 News, elves were shown being threatened with dismissal after 'three strikes' by a fat beard-clad despot, Santa Claus.  An agency elf, who...

That's right it's not a typo, we are feeling generous today at The Herald after an out of court settlement with them southern softies at SNN. To celebrate one lucky reader could be in with...

Rochdale trading standards office has revealed it has been inundated with complaints about retailers desperate to begin selling their Christmas wares.  Officer Colin McNigelson told the Herald that this past weekend has seen complaints about...

All things bright and beautiful are thanks to a strong economy, says Theresa May. When asked why flowers are so lovely, she said this was down to a strong economy brought to us by a...

The Government has announced plans to cut costs by putting prisoners in charge of prisons. The announcement comes after the successful conclusion of a recent trial of the system in Wiltshire and Hertfordshire. The Government...

Scores of young, underpaid trainee journalists have been drowsily typing up their reviews of the night tube over the last two mornings as their editors sleep in.? "It's the frigging tube but later," said talented...

Experts have announced that irony is dead. The announcement came after a UKIP MEP said that Britain would be plunged back to the early 1900's should Jeremy Corbyn be elected Prime Minister. A spokesman for...

A brainchild policy of Health Secretary, Jeremy Hunt, has been leaked from the Conservative General Election Manifesto. The policy will outline plans to increase doctor numbers whilst simultaneously cutting costs. After a Conservative election win, would be doctors...

An all star cast is to appear in seasoned stage director Rupert Murdoch's new adaptation of the J. M. Barrie classic 'Peter Pan'. Michael Gove has been cast as Tick-Tock, Theresa May as Captain Hook...

Hot on the news that she is expecting her third child Channel 4 has announced that the Duchess of Cambridge is to present a special royal edition of Bake Off. "This is a unique opportunity...

Donald Trump has decided to extend his executive decision concerning repealing Obamacare to his entire presidency. It is believed the most successful man ever to inherit a small business from his father is fed up...

March 20th has long been designated International Happiness Day, a day to celebrate all that is good about life in the 21st century. However there were few smiles in the disunited Kingdom as Theresa May seized...

Prime Minister Theresa May briefly excited Brexiters yesterday when she announced she would definitely push the button. As cheers rang out across the nation it slowly dawned on Europhobes that she was actually referring to...

The government is celebrating today as the figures released by the ONS show that unemployment as at its lowest since 1975 or something. “It’s a really great achievement for conservatism, and you can’t deny the...