Private rail company owner and Blairite totally unbiased about Traingate

1
Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson said today that claims that he has it in for rail nationalisation enthusiast Jeremy Corbyn are unfounded. The gazillionaire, famous...

Katie Hopkins replaced by audio book of Mein Kampf narrated by Paul Nuttall

0
Until LBC can find a suitable successor to Katie Hopkins her slot will be filled by a looped recording of Mein Kampf, narrated by...
Goldie

Who the fuck is Goldie, asks Banksy

2
The deliberately modest and ultra secretive celebrity, Goldie, yesterday potentially revealed  the identity of serial graffiti artist and liberal metropolitan elite caricature, Banksy, in...

Nobody Offended By Twitter Joke

0
A joke posted on Twitter yesterday has met with a complete lack of offence for the first time in history. The joke which reads "Most...

Facebook servers crash after everyone announces they’re drinking Prosecco

0
Facebook couldn't be logged into earlier today after millions of people updated their statuses with things like; "The Prosecco is open! You know what that...

Liberal hospitalised after catching racism from Daily Mail

0
A Rochdale man has been admitted to a psychiatric hospital today after contracting racism from a close encounter with the Daily Mail.  Colin Nigelsson, a...
Champagne Socialist

“Are we middle class?” Ask champagne swilling corbynistas

38
A group of friends from Rochdale have come to the horrible realisation that they maybe middle class. Julian "Trotsky" Bennett told us, "We're committed to...
British Transport Police

Jury rules justified homicide after man murdered for drinking mug of tea without removing...

0
A jury has ruled justifiable homicide in the case of a man who was beaten to death on a train near Rochdale after several...

Symbolic figurehead has dinner with elected European leaders

1
The symbolic figurehead of the United Kingdom, Theresa May, dined last night with the twenty seven elected heads of the European Union. Ms May was...
Bomb Squad

May tells Merkel,”This is just a taste of what I’ve got”.

0
News reports this morning state that the entire city of Hannover is to be evacuated following the discovery of numerous unexploded WW2 bombs. Apparently, Theresa...

Theresa May’s password ‘strongandstable’ easiest to guess say hackers

5
In the wake of the recent cyber-attacks on parliament, we have learned a lot. For starters, the reason Theresa May keeps saying “strong and...
Paul Nuttall

Huddersfield Town sign Paul Nuttall for a record fee

0
The journeyman striker was signed for an undisclosed amount, although it is "considerably more" than the previous record fee of forty Rothmans and a...

SWP sees huge growth in membership, or is it the SDP, or maybe the...

Rochdale Socialist Worker Party member and activist, Quentin Lennon, was celebrating today after finding out that he is part of the biggest political party...

Flag Furore as Fans Face Fines

6
  An entire street on Rochdale's Newbold estate was threatened with fines on Monday - if they refuse to remove a multitude of flags from...

Farage in critical condition after massive overdose

0
Nigel Farage is in a critical condition this morning after taking a colossal irony overdose.

Corbyn to guarantee himself a seat by emptying trains to 1800s level

0
Diane Abbott has declared Jeremy Corbyn "statistically the most popular & electable Labour leader ever" after the leaked Labour Manifesto shows that Labour have...

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