Reading the Daily Mail causes cancer of the soul
Following sickening reports of yet another moron mowing down innocent pedestrians, the Daily Mail has excelled itself by implying that the victims were to...
New 2017 Celebrity Death Programming
In a surprise announcement today, the BBC revealed its strategy for recovering an audience lost by the betrayal of Paul Hollywood and his "Fakey Cakey...
Telegraph journalist executes her integrity with call to murder politician
Sane people all over the country were horrified, but largely unsurprised, that right-wing publication the Daily Telegraph had called for a political leader...
Rochdale mum binge watched Netflix documentaries and is now blood spatter expert
52 year old mother of two Janice Longthorne has spent so many hours watching Netflix shows such as 'Making a Murderer' (seasons one and...
The Canary fails to overthrow Tories with 5,638th consecutive screen grab of tweet
For the 5638th consecutive time, Kerry-Anne Mendoza has failed to overthrow the nearly-elected government of the UK.
Having scraped a sardonic tweet from a celebrity...
OED to introduce new terms for despicable journalism
Following some recent "newspaper" headlines, a source at the Oxford English Dictionary has revealed some new words to be introduced to accurately describe some...
Pound for Pound Sandi Toksvig is paid same as Stephen Fry for hosting QI...
Following the publication of the salaries paid to its top stars the BBC has rushed to deny reports that QI presenter Sandi Toksvig was...
Channel 4 on course to disappear up its own arse
Channel 4 have announced a new meta-programming initiative with which it hopes to exceed the success of the Gogglebox franchise. The new programming will...
I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Hearse
The Rochdale Herald has learned that ITV plans to make drastic changes to the format of next year's 'I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of...
Accusations of Racism Hit John Lewis Commercial
The new John Lewis advert, featuring a black British family giving their daughter a trampoline for Christmas has been denounced as racist.
"It's an...
Herald Reporter in KAREN DANCZUK TOPLESS Clickbait Scandal
Following the implementation of new software allowing users to see just what exactly brings visitors to their website based on Googled search terms, a local...
The Sun to relaunch as Colouring Book
The UK’s second best-selling hate rag, The Sun, is to be relaunched as a colouring book.
As of next week, the Murdoch-owned ‘newspaper’ will cease...
Daily Mail reveal African poverty is a load of old tosh
The Daily Mail today have exclusively revealed that African poverty is rubbish and was invented by Oxfam as a way of making a quick...
Thickos more likely to believe any old bollocks scientists reveal
Scientists at Rochdale Community university have discovered that thickos will believe pretty much anything they see on Facebook
Satirists face existential crisis
Satirists around the world face extinction due to rising stupidity levels and utter fucking idiocy.
"How am I supposed to write satire about this, there's...
SNN and Rochdale Herald in Plagiarism Mr Tumble Rumble
The Internet exploded this morning amidst claims that The Rochdale Herald is not only guilty of making up the news but has been plagiarising...
