Daily Mail Editor to pay Melania Trump $150m with no prospect of Happy Ending

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The Editor of The Daily Mail was said to be gutted at the prospect of having to pay Melania Trump millions of dollars for...

The Canary fails to overthrow Tories with 5,638th consecutive screen grab of tweet

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For the 5638th consecutive time, Kerry-Anne Mendoza has failed to overthrow the nearly-elected government of the UK.  Having scraped a sardonic tweet from a celebrity...
Elderly Couple

New survey shows 52% of Daily Mail readers have masturbated to The World At...

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Researchers at the University of Rochdale reveal the enduring popularity of the 1970s documentary for gammon spank fodder. The 1970s documentary, The World At War,...

Thousands dead in Daily Mail Olympics tragedy

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Thousands of Daily Mail readers are dead today after their heads exploded whilst reading the rag's coverage of the Olympics. Mild confusion over the juxtaposition...

Newspaper that regularly features Princess Diana’s ghost denies allegations of fake news

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Staff at the Daily Express have been forced to deny that their publication is a tissue of lies and fake news even though it...
The Pope

Fake News hurts everyone insists bloke who tells people Jewish wizard’s Mum was a...

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The head of the Catholic Church has waded into the debate on fake news and he hasn't shied away from getting his hands dirty.  Pope...

Scientists prove dementia risk reduced by not reading The Sun

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Scientists at the Rochdale Institute for Cerebral Health have released the results of a long running study into dementia and how not reading The...

SNN and Rochdale Herald in Plagiarism Mr Tumble Rumble

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The Internet exploded this morning amidst claims that The Rochdale Herald is not only guilty of making up the news but has been plagiarising...

Herald Editor Treated For Shock After Finding Journalism in Daily Mirror

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The Editor of the Rochdale Herald is recuperating in Rochdale General Hospital after accidentally finding some quality journalism in The Daily Mirror.
Cat's Eyes

The Sun wins top spot in nationwide industry poll

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Following recent scandals involving their journalists, inaccurate reporting and misinforming large sections of the population The Sun newspaper has had some positive feedback from...
Tory

There’s nothing funny about the Tories moan satirists

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Satirists up and down the country are throwing their pens and finger bashing the backspace key in frustration. "It's the bloody Tories" said one writer...

Facebook establishes Ministry of Truth

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In an effort to combat the rise in fake news stories appearing on the website’s feeds Facebook is to establish the Ministry of Truth. Employees...

iPhone users left feeling cheated

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Thousands of iPhone users around the globe were left feeling cheated this week as they eagerly awaited news of the latest model from technology...
Broadcast

BBC Radio 2 breakfast show ratings soar, as listeners want their bloody money’s worth

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As the dust starts to settle on Terry Wogan's grave after being disturbed so much by him spinning in it, the Rochdale Herald can...

Daily Mail issue apology for calling white mosque shooter a terrorist

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There was chaos in The Daily Mail Newsroom this morning as they scrambled to reset copy before going to press after the gunman who...

Google under pressure as journalists try to figure out what Grime is

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Google are busy bringing new servers online today as UK journalists research Grime to make it look like they're with it. "We at the Times...

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