Mr Tumble to sue SNN

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The much loved CBBC presenter Mr. Tumble, aka Justin Fletcher MBE, has set the wheels in motion with his legal team to issue Southend...
Princess Diana

Don’t buy the Daily Mail on 31 August

224
It's the 20th anniversary of the death of Princess Diana. Remember her, if you will. Pray for her and her family, if that's your...

Everyone to star in latest series of Big Brother

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In a massive change of direction, our government known for privatising everything for short term gain and long term loss has bought out Dutch based media...
Daily Mail Stock Photo

Daily Mail wins award for inciteful journalism

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The Daily Mail Editor has collected another prestigious award, in a glittering events ceremony in the Dubai International Finance Centre (“DIFC”). Editor Paul Dacre...

Taking are speling back!

0
The new Apple iOS update is to include a new autocorrect function for words such as muslin, briton and rasict. Computer giants and tax dodging...
Rochdale paramedics

Breaking News: Dozens Dead in Fleet Street Fire

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Several dozen journalists at The Daily Mail are feared dead whilst dozens more are critically injured after laptop computers exploded in their Northcliffe House...

Radio 2 announces replacement of all Christmas songs with Call to Prayer to avoid...

0
If you want any chance of hearing any of your favourite Christmas tunes, then you better tune in to this week. Radio 2 has today...
Daily Mail

Daily Mail asking readers to buy two copies each

0
Pressure appears to be mounting in the offices of the Daily Mail, as their latest idea in an attempt to boost sales is to...
Kuenssberg

Labour apologise for accidentally not running over Laura Kuenssberg

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The Labour Party leadership have taken to social media today to whole heartedly apologise for accidentally running over a BBC Cameraman, Giles Woolerton, this morning.
Musician

2016 maintains the Status Quo

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2016 has been everybody's annus horibilis, and it is with great regret that we announce the death of Status Quo legend Rick Parfitt. Having survived...

Daily Mail readers die from apoplexy after Muslim Immigrant wins Gold

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Lord Rothermere is expected to file for bankruptcy on Monday after the last of his Daily Mail readers died of apoplexy following the 10,000m...

Assange ready to be extradited from his own arse

8
Julian Assange has confirmed that he is willing to be extradited from his own arse following Barack Obama’s decision to commute the sentence of US Army...
Anger as southerners omit cockwomble from the OFCOM Swearing Top 10

New 2017 Celebrity Death Programming

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In a surprise announcement today, the BBC revealed its strategy for recovering an audience lost by the betrayal of Paul Hollywood and his "Fakey Cakey...

Jo Swinson to present new series of ‘Great British Railway Journeys’

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The BBC has announced that Jo Swinson will replace Michael Portillo as host of the show, in much the same way as a smug...

Reality blamed for increase of violence on television

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Recent studies by a team at Oxford University have found potential links between reality and the increasing portrayal of graphic violence on TV. Many of...

Muslims damage white man’s van outside mosque, screams Daily Mail

20
Allegedly Paul Dacre rang round every Daily Mail journalist to ensure The Daily Mail created the appropriate coverage of the terrorist incident in Finsbury. Simply...

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