Ross and Rachel

Chilcot Report reveals Ross and Rachel WERE on a break

8
With the kind of speed, thoroughness and ability to keep his finger on Britain’s zeitgeist that has come to be expected from him, the...
Ancient text

Daily Mail claim Koran found propping up wobbly table leg in Thomas Mair’s kitchen

0
In a shocking turn of events, the Daily Mail have claimed police forensics have revealed to them that during the investigation into Thomas Mair...

We’re nothing like Trump Supporters insist lone wolves

0
Lone wolves are said to be up in arms this afternoon after CNN compared them to Trump Supporter and Canadian mosque shooter Alexandre Bissonnette.
Idris Elba

Idris Elba to play Jeremy Corbyn in upcoming Cold War spy thriller

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Idris Elba is to be cast as Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn in a new spy thriller set during the height of The Cold War. The...
Elderly couple

Daily Express forecasts two feet of dead pensioners will fall in Central London by...

0
The Daily Express has warned readers that 20% of them will die this week because of the "Beast from the east". Pensioner, Stan Still said,...
Kelvin MacKenzie

Kelvin MacKenzie awarded Bafta for portrayal of a journalist

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Kelvin MacKenzie was today awarded a BAFTA for his long running portrayal of a Journalist, Editor and TV Executive. Mr MacKenzie began portraying the character at...

Daily Mail editor defends decision to exclude Gold medallist with alopecia from cover

197
The editor at the Daily Mail has allegedly defended his decision to only put two of the gold medalists from the four woman, world...

Nigel Farage to replace David Dimbleby as host of BBC’s Question Time

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The BBC have confirmed that Nigel Farage is to replace David Dimbleby as the host of its topical debate programme Question Time. It is understood...
Michael Gove

Michael Gove announced as editor of Unbelievable Bastard Magazine

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Following the news that Gideon "man of the people" Osborne has been appointed editor of The London Evening Standard the publishers of Backstabbers Quarterly...

Reality blamed for increase of violence on television

2
Recent studies by a team at Oxford University have found potential links between reality and the increasing portrayal of graphic violence on TV. Many of...

OED to introduce new terms for despicable journalism

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Following some recent "newspaper" headlines, a source at the Oxford English Dictionary has revealed some new words to be introduced to accurately describe some...
Tory

There’s nothing funny about the Tories moan satirists

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Satirists up and down the country are throwing their pens and finger bashing the backspace key in frustration. "It's the bloody Tories" said one writer...
Angry man

People who say Nazis were socialists to lose human status

88
The UN has today confirmed that anyone who says Nazis were socialist are to lose human status, joining holocaust deniers in the shortlist of...

Thousands injured after Hypocrisy Bomb detonates at Daily Mail Headquarters

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Thousands of Daily Mail employees were left hideously disfigured after an extremist hypocrisy bomb detonated under their lair at Northcliffe House.
Jeremy Clarkson

Clarkson hater not bothered about GT success

0
A writer for a satirical news site recently spent a lot of time saying that Jeremy Clarkson and Co's new Grand Tour show was...

BBC confident Planet Earth 3 will contain ‘at least 80% Attenborough’

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The BBC are desperately trying to complete series 3 of their hugely popular Planet Earth programme, as with all the fuckery 2016 has offered...

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