Katie Hopkins reluctantly buys conventional toilet after running out of platforms to shit from.
Katie Hopkins has been spotted in the bathroom section of Homebase today, after being forced to find a conventional way to dispose of her...
Top Fake News Reporter Newt Hump Admits “I Haven’t Been Making It Up”
Newt Hump, one of the World's foremost "Fake News" journalists has shockingly admitted that he hasn't been making it up.
"I never intended it" he...
Barrack’s is at least three times bigger than Donald’s says Melania
Melania Trump has sensationally revealed that Barrack Obama has a really big one, it is at least three times the size of Donald's.
"Donald is...
Legendary comic Tony Blair wins prestigious award
Tony Blair, one half of iconic comedy duo The World Leaders, has been honoured with the prestigious Lincoln Leadership in Comedy Prize with particular...
Comic Relief to be just Michael McIntyre and a bunch of Russells in future
The BBC announced today that all future Comic Relief events will simply be Michael McIntyre and people called Russell running around and doing observational...
Princess Diana’s ghost gives Express readers advice on how to deal with slippery driving...
The ghost of Diana, Thingy of Wales, has been giving Daily Express readers advice on how to survive the cold weather.
Speaking through a medium,...
Everyone to star in latest series of Big Brother
In a massive change of direction, our government known for privatising everything for short term gain and long term loss has bought out Dutch based media...
Suspicious package at Daily Mail confirmed as charity collection box
The suspicious package at Daily Mail HQ is a charity collection box for Syrian refugees.
No-one is quite sure how it got there but it’s been confirmed...
Scientists Prove Fake News Caused by “A lack of bullying in schools”
Scientists believe they have proven the rise of Fake News is a direct consequence of the decline of bullying in schools.
Professor Andrei Clewsov of...
New York Times Reported to the House Committee for Un-American Activities
The New York Times, long considered to be the lap-dog mouthpiece of the Commie-loving East-coast foreigner, has finally (and thankfully) been reported to the...
Breaking News: Dozens Dead in Fleet Street Fire
Several dozen journalists at The Daily Mail are feared dead whilst dozens more are critically injured after laptop computers exploded in their Northcliffe House...
Christian Groups outraged as Multi-faith revamp of Teletubbies features NO Christian Character
Rochdale's creative industry seemingly received a huge boost last week as local TV production firm, Hot Pot Productions, was awarded a £6 million BBC...
Daily Mail readers push uphill for Gardner
Daily Mail readers have insisted that Dressage individual gold medalist Charlotte Dujardin is renamed Charlie Gardner as her name has been deemed "too French"...
Brian Cox apologises for insisting Things Can Only Get Better
Astrologer to the stars Professor Brian Cox has finally come clean about his greatest fib told way back in 1993.
Let’s Get Ready to TUMBLE!
Things just got real in the editorial bunker at The Rochdale Herald after those soft southern satirist impersonators at The Southend News Network went...
Heroic ‘fragile snowflake’ Piers Morgan attempts to man up by sitting on a sofa
Piers Morgan will today make a daring attempt to return to doing what he does best. Sitting on his arse while regurgitating tripe about...
