Entertainment

Former Auror and famed 'boy who lived' Harry Potter has revolted against JK Rowling, who is his creator, by supporting Jeremy Corbyn only days after she publicly denigrated the plaid and corduroy socialist. "Obviously I...

Justin Bieber has cancelled the remainder of his world tour after 1.4bn Chinese people demanded it. A publicist told us, "Premature endings are always disappointing. I can attest to that. This has been a long...

In a dramatic twist in the GBBO story reports this morning say that founding members of the cast have signed contracts for a new show with Al Jazeera. It is believed that in the new...

Legendary film director Mel Brooks has called it quits with Hollywood after more than fifty years saying he can no longer compete with reality when it comes to conjuring up absurd and bizarre comedy...

Keith Lambert sadly passed yesterday evening, after an horrific coughing fit which was brought on by the prospect of enduring a full hour of the 7pm BBC show. After 6 minutes of dry retching Mr....

Apparently Meat Loaf isn't dead and has a new album coming out, on account of still being alive. The big breasted Fight Club singer apparently didn't die between recording his last album and the one...

Channel 5 has announced that it has scrapped its planned series "Real Housewives Of Rochdale Town" after the pilot episode turned out to be crap. On the back of the successful Housewives of Orange County...

Rochdale was in turmoil last night after discovering that the last remaining person in the UK yet to watch Season 6 of Game of Thrones is living amongst them. "I kind of got sidetracked by...

Love island viewers were last night in shock after it was revealed the island is to be transformed into a syphilis colony. The revelations came in response to Jonny revealing he has crabs. Camilla and...

A bright New Year's Day and I am sitting in the fashionable Chelsea bistro 'Hereafter' waiting for Keef, as I know him, to arrive.  Amazingly, he is there on time, threading his way through the...

Rochdale couch tuber, Archibald Taggart, has hidden himself away behind a fort made entirely of his Friends and Seinfeld video and DVD box sets, and is refusing to come out. "There wasn't a single white...

Tom Hiddleston, the one and only attractive ginger man in the world, has scarpered after news broke today that his relationship with Taylor Swift had ended.  Tom is reported to have told a close friend...

In a blistering attack worthy of such Hip Hop classics Tupac Shakur's Hit Em up and Nas Escobar's Ether.

The Crystal Maze is set to return our screens, again; "The barrel has no bottom. There's nothing left to scrape anymore. This is it." Said a distraught Paul Whittle, a Channel 4 veteran Producer with...

The BBC has forced Sir Alan Sugar to allow everyone in the current series of The Apprentice to be given a job in the final episode to meet with its inclusive fairness policy. A change...

In news from the future today, we have learned that Gary 'Tory Tax Breaks' Barlow is/will be the winner of the 2017 Nobel Prize for Literature. "After Dylan winning last year for writing lyrics that...