A new poll of over 2 million sofa enthusiasts has shown that British audiences find comedy funnier if delivered through a voice synthesizer.

The vote demonstrated a narrow preference over camp autistic comedy, with both emerging well clear of bearded Leeds comedy. Comedy itself was clearly preferred to other forms of entertainment such as mawkish singing, parading elderly war veterans, and walking round with your brother on your head.

Voting coach potato Giles Anmary said “The voice synthesizer comedy was well good. Like Michael McIntyre speaking through a tannoy.”

The Herald contacted the winning comedian for comment and was informed that on the third stroke it would be four sixteen precisely.