Nation tries to remember why it told kids to knock on strangers’ doors for...
Did we just adjust the clocks so that it is dark by the time kids come home from school, and then teach them to...
Smart Energy may help me keep job – says National Grid boss
The new head of the National Grid, Nicola Shaw, has today encouraged consumers to opt for "smart energy" devices which will enable her to...
Britons Now Incapable Of Making Any Decision Without A Referendum
The majority of British people are now incapable of making a decision without first holding a referendum, according to a study published today.
Researchers...
BMW three series usage linked with being an unbearable bellend
A 25 year long study of the people who habitually buy and use BMW 3 series has concluded that they are usually "unbearable bellends."
Previous...
Colonel Mustard blames the Housing Minister in the Cabinet Office with the Funding Cuts
Colonel Mustard has alleged that the housing minister, in the cabinet office, with the funding cuts caused the Grenfell fire.
The Colonel, wearing a...
Rochdale Herald Editor knighted in New Year’s Honours List
The editor of the Rochdale Herald, Quentin D. Fortesqueue has been knighted for services to fake news. Mr Fortesqueue, 58, said he was delighted...
Theresa May to open new Ministry of Silly Bans
Prime Minister Theresa May has announced a new Ministry of Silly Bans, to be set up immediately.
The job of the new department will be to...
Badger fed up with receiving ‘Bristle-enhancing Pills’ emails
Brock Hampstead, a male badger from the New Forest, has started a campaign targeting what he claims is speciesist profiling by advertisers.
"I know that...
Man singing “Free Tommy Robinson” thought he was entering competition to meet him
A man who spent yesterday in London singing "Free Tommy Robinson" has said he thought he was entering a competition to meet him.
Dave Wild...
Rees-Mogg reveals time travel is workable Irish border solution
Jacob Rees-Mogg has revealed that the Irish border issue can be easily and practically solved using time travel.
Rees-Mogg revealed the plan today in a...
Family dog dutifully tells sleeping baby that there’s somebody at the door
A dutiful family dog has very helpfully informed a sleeping baby that there is somebody at the door.
The seven year old Cocker Spaniel made...
Theresa May speaks to Herald – exclusive!
The Prime Minister has faced many difficulties over the past weeks - Brexit, terrorist attacks in Manchester and London, a poor election showing and...
Man discovers he’s middle aged after getting neck injury whilst putting jumper on
A Rochdale man has come to the realisation he's middle aged after sustaining a neck injury whilst putting on a jumper.
Stan Still, 38, said,...
Nuttall loses close personal seats in election disaster
Accident prone Paul Nuttall, leader of UKIP, faced fresh tragedy today after learning that all his ‘close personal seats’ were lost in an election...
Everybody wondering where the one car with snow on it came from
Drivers all over the UK are wondering where the hell that one car with snow on it has come from.
"Where on Earth has that...
Cryptocurrencies overtake buy to let portfolios as reason not to have “that twat” over...
Our survey of Rochdale couples reveals cryptocurrencies are now the top reason for removal from dinner party guest lists.
In our extensive survey, which we...
