National News

Thousands of Republican voters suffered serious head injuries yesterday after face palming themselves really hard during a Trump Rally.

World leaders, academics, leading  scientists and philosophers made the decision at a secret summit in Denver Colardo yesterday. Simon Johnson, a leading Economist and auther said;  "2016 has been a global nightmare, both financially and in...

Shock revelations have shaken Rochdale to its very core as documents from the cold war have been declassified, revealing that the 7 sisters were a nuclear missile launch site throughout the 70's and 80's,...

If there is a god then 2016 is his version of an April fools day prank. Long gone are the days of plagues of locusts and floods, he's bored of that and now so...

Jesus of Nazareth may have had eczema, dermatologists have found. New evidence that The Lord suffered from the common skin complaint emerged following fresh analysis of The Shroud of Turin, thought to be the old...

The Shard in London is nearing completion, according to developers. Once finished, it will stand at 310m and will be the tallest building in the United Kingdom and the 105th tallest in the world. Construction began...

As part of her Key Note speech to the Conservative Party Conference today Theresa May is set to announce this explosive coup for the Torys & Brexiteers - Peter Andre is set to turn...

Churches like those associated with Christians and Catholics are still really bloody wealthy a recent survey has shown. The news will come as no surprise to anyone really except maybe those who go to church...

In a shock statement today the 1970's have told 2016 to go back to its own timeline where it belongs.  In July a third of the country decided to flee the oppression of prosperity and...

The government says it wants to dodge certain bits of the European Convention On Human Rights because of an "Industry of false and vexatious claims" against British soldiers who served in places like Iraq...

Experts in worldwide trends are predicting that 2017 will reach terminal levels of warmth by mid-June. Professor Thorfin Nerfstretcherrsson, Head of Rochdale Community University's department of Genocide, has this to say on the subject, "Well since...

London readers will notice scaffolding appearing on the iconic Tower Bridge today (Saturday) as the bridge is now closed until December in order to house migrants, mostly from Syria and Iraq.  The plan by Labour...

There was anger on the streets of Rochdale last night as "Cockwomble" was controversially left out of Ofcom's Top 10 of swear words. Ofcom, an organisation notoriously dominated by Cockney Wankers filling the sort of...

Tube Chat Badges given out to travellers on the London Underground to encourage people to talk more are said to be a surprising success, according to some reports today. The badges, which are not supplied...

A sticker showing Prince William and The Duchess of Cambridge along with a depiction of two fingers raised in a V sign has caused some consternation in Rochdale. The sticker appeared in the back window...

A shock revelation on BBC Breakfast this morning revealed that British police forces are using fizzy drink to subdue suspects. The footage was taken from the body-cam of an officer who appears to be from...