National News

Long haired Labour killer and plastic revolutionary, Russell Brand, has come under fire once again this morning after 'pranking' the granddaughter of the late Andrew Sachs. Sachs, best known for his role as hapless Spanish...

In a surprise move, it was revealed today that the new £50 note is to be made of foie gras. The announcement comes as a double blow to angry vegetarians, who found out that the...

There was an outpouring of fury earlier this week from vegetarians, vegans and religious groups as it was revealed that our new £5 notes are essentially made out of bacon. This morning the royal mint...

The Big 6 electricity providers are set to impose a special levy on households deemed to have displays of more than 5 metres of Christmas lighting this year.  The energy companies are concerned that with...

The political establishment was rocked today when new research conclusively proved that the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP) contains more pricks than world famous darts champion Eric Bristow’s dart board. “While Bristow’s dart board contains hundreds...

The pie faced gravy rhyming bastard, who obtained Royal recognition for being good at throwing things made the comment after a series of ill judged drunken Tweets last night. Within them he also stated that victims...

The chairman of the Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) David Isaac made the comment earlier this week; "Everyone is equal and all religions should be respected. Companies should honour all religious ceremonies and celebrations, as long...

All nations attending Treaty discussions are only allocated one car parking space. UK plans for "Brexit" have hit the buffers after Westminster Civil Servants finally got round to Item 2 on the Brexit Committee agenda...

The public have rallied behind calls from Robert Chote, the Chairman of The Office for Budget Resposibility to buy The Shadow Chancellor, John McDonnell, a new calculator.

Today sees the probable introduction of the new “Walter Mitty” law, which will make it a criminal offence for any individual to pretend to be a military veteran by wearing medals they have not...

UK retailers were left smirking knowingly today as momentum gathered for the Buy Nothing Day campaign, being run on the same day as Black Friday.  The campaign which urges people not to buy a single...

Sources close to the MEP, would be ambassador and professional Admiral Ackbar lookalike Nigel Farage, say he is close to moving the the USA. Apparently Nigel feels disappointed that in the wake of the Brexit...

This week saw the conviction and sentencing of Thomas Mair in the case of the tragic murder of MP Jo Cox.  During the murder, the accused is said to have shouted "... Britain first...", before...

Theresa May’s Conservative government have quite literally meddled with time in their pursuit of successfully completing Brexit according to their timetable. The Conservative party used their parliamentary majority to force through the ‘British Calendar Act’, giving Theresa May...

Fans of popular football team Chelsea Albion were agog with joy today when the team went one point ahead of arch rivals Liverpool Wanderers in the Premier League, with only 6 months left in...

The popular Coca Cola advert which includes trucks and or polar bears has aired on UK television again tonight as it does every year. Millions of people have already taken to Facebook to convey their...