Gay traffic lights turn pavements to mince

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Transport for London have overstepped the mark by introducing gay traffic lights according to Rochdale father of two, Arthur Branesell. "Its outrageous! There's one with...

Man arrested masturbating outside Primark not Simon Danczuk

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Rumours were circulating around the editorial bunker yesterday that the man arrested for masturbating outside of Primark was local pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk. Despite getting...

Home Office Play Matchmaker for Rochdale’s Bridget Joneses

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The Rochdale Herald can reveal controversial Home Office plans to settle new male immigrants in areas of Britain with too many single women in...

Rochdale council ban nativity costumes except for Muslims

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The education department in Rochdale county council has issued a blanket memo to all schools for "insensitive fancy dress" for nativity plays.

Rochdale’s Brickcroft Lane Social Club unveil The Danczuk Memorial Bin

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It has taken years of diligent campaigning and endless hours of tough negotiating but finally Simon Danczuk has achieved something material for the citizens...

Police Commissioner Confirms Police To Desist From Arresting People Doing Nothing Wrong

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South Yorkshire Police Commissioner Adam Spillings went on record today as saying his force would no longer be arresting tree campaigners for doing nothing...
Man in tree with chainsaw

Sheffield Council misunderstand the word ‘Socialist’

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Sheffield council yesterday accepted they had fundamentally misunderstood the concept of 'socialism'.  Following a vehement rejection by local residents of their plan to cut down...

Rochdale council urge residents to help alleviate flooding

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Rochdale council have taken the unusual step of issuing a plea for help from residents, especially those further out of town to leave their...
Rochdale Riverside

Rochdale unaffected by US Government shutdown confirms Council chief

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Rochdale - The leader of Rochdale Borough Council, Councillor Allen Brett, has reassured residents of the town that they won't be affected by the...
Tree lined street

Sheffield Tree-Felling Councillor Hospitalised With Irony Overdose

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It has been revealed that Clr Brian 'Hodge' Podge, the Sheffield Councillor responsible for the hugely unpopular street tree felling programme, was rushed to...

Sheffield councillors flummoxed By Spade and Pick Conundrum

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Sheffield councillors visiting a street improvement site were utterly bamboozled when contractors lined up three spades against a wall and invited the councillors to...
Fooded river

Rochdale River Opening Big Mistake

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Council bosses stumbled across some architectural documents relating to the newly uncovered River Roach in the town centre on Tuesday. Deep in the bowels of...

Rochdale Christmas light turn on will be a Britain First

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This year's celebrity flicker of Rochdale's Christmas light will be none other than high flying anti-Muslim racist bigots and all round general socialites, Paul...

Man who had letter published in local paper astonished that nothing changed

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A Rochdale resident, Mr P. Scratching, was overjoyed when his letter to the editor of the Rochdale Herald was published in full with only...

Rochdale council to trial bi-monthly bin collections

Rochdale Council's Refuse Planner, Frederick West, made the announcement on the council's Facebook page last week. "Since the resounding success of our bi-weekly refuse collections...
Rock, Paper, Scissors

Council election draw decided by ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’

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In a remarkable turn of events, there have been two draws in results in the Local Council elections. Northumberland County Council saw Conservative and Liberal...

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