If we can pay for food we can pay for rockets – say NASA
American space go-getters NASA are said to be up in arms about budget restrictions while there is still enough money available to feed some...
Statue Of Liberty To Be Deported
America's creepiest uncle, State Department Obergruppenführer Steve 'Steve-O' Bannon confirmed today that steps were being taken to deport 'dangerous subversive' the Statue of Liberty.
"Ms...
After being pussy whipped by North Korea, Trump turns his attention to Afganyst Agfhanist...
Having been pussy-whipped by North Korea in the Pacific, US president Donald Trump has signalled his readiness to turn his military attention to Afganyst...
Thank God it was a lone wolf with mental issues and not a terrorist...
More than 50 people have been killed and over 200 injured in a gun attack in Las Vegas, Nevada, today.
It has become the...
Trump orders Fabergé selfie-stick for inauguration
In preparation for his inauguration ceremony, President elect Trump has commissioned Fabergé, the esteemed and historic jewellery makers to the Russian emperors, to craft...
Trump a performance artist, claims Attorney
As the case against Trump supporter and white nationalist butt-nugget Matthew Heimbach heats up, his lawyer has said that Trump may well be called...
Donald Trump ends democracy in America
I’ve decided Ivanka will come after me. I mean, she’s hot, and she has my gift with politics, so she’s the perfect choice
We need buoyancy aids not Beyonce aid, say Houston flood victims
Residents of Houston were bemused by an offer from pop star Beyonce offering help for those affected by the recent flooding.
“We asked for buoyancy...
People no longer surprised when Trump acts like a dick again
The repeated outbursts of hatemongering, sabre-rattling or just plain stupidity, emanating from the lips, press statements or usually the tweets, of Donald Trump, have...
Conspiracy theorists concerned nobody might be in charge after all
American conspiracy theorists heads are exploding at an alarming rate as the two main presidential candidates get more and more terrible.
"Up until yesterday I was...
Virginia to ban books instead of burning them
Parents from the Virginia School District have called for an immediate ban on all novels that contain the n-word.
To Kill a Mockingbird, Of Mice...
Putin’s money was just resting in my account Trump tells James Comey
Donald Trump has dismissed as fake news any suggestion that money that has appeared in his account is anything to do with collusion with...
Trump sues porn star for breaching confidentiality agreement about affair he claims not to...
Lawyers for the actual President of the United States of America are seeking $20 million in damages from a porn star who he says...
Donald’s diddy digits dodge draft
As the smokescreen around Donald Trump's draft dodging tactics intensifies The Rochdale Herald has uncovered startling new evidence.
The story currently being spun is that...
Saying racists shouldn’t say racist things is racist against racists, Trump tells Democrats
Donald Trump has taken Twitter to defend the rights of racists across America to say and do really racist things.
"Racists are a minority just...
Sex Workers to sue Daily Mail for comparing them to Melania Trump
Millions of sex workers are suing right wing rag, The Daily Mail, after they referred to Melania Trump as a "former sex worker" in...
