Light spectroscopy confirms Trump wears a toupee and it’s 70% alpaca
Donald Trump's hair is partly fake, and the fake part is not even human hair, but alpaca, scientists working for NASA's Astronomical spectroscopy division...
Fat bottomed ape learns to mimic human sounds
Washington DC - A seventy year primitive primate that can mimic human words such as hello, bigly, braggadocios, and covfefe is thought to be...
Trump condemns dead soldier for not standing during national anthem
President Donald Trump has rebuked allegations of inappropriate comments made by the grieving widow of a US soldier today by pointing out her husband...
Trump barred from White House toilets
President Donald Trump has been the first victim of his cancellation of orders compelling universities and other institutions to respect personal identity.
Although rescinding the orders was...
Area 51 to Close Aliens Expelled – Trump Conversation with Galactic Emperor ‘Worst...
Donald Trump has ordered the closure of Area 51 and the immediate expulsion of all aliens.
During a turbulent conversation with The Galactic Emperor, which...
Donald Trump denies allegations he has rigged erections
The allegation was made by Anthony "Fandango" Scaramucci following his removal from post.
The President's former tiny-right-hand man lashed out indiscriminately at his former...
Biff Tannen secures Republican Party presidential nomination
The world was horrified but not terribly surprised to discover this morning that professional gambler and self-styled American oligarch Biff Tannen secured the US...
Donald Trump Jr upset by chants of ‘lock him up’ from Donald Trump Snr
Donald Trump Jr has allegedly complained that President Trump keeps chanting 'lock him up' at him.
Trump Junior made a complaint to a White House...
Donald Trump: DNA test finds ‘strong evidence’ of human DNA
US President Donald Trump has revealed that a DNA test shows "strong evidence" that he is distantly related to human beings.
He took the test...
Trump travel ban extends to Narnia
President Donald Trump last night signed an Executive Order adding Narnia to the travel ban and immediately excluding "followers of Aslan" from entering the...
Thoughts and prayers shortages in US reaching crisis point
Shortages of thoughts and prayers for the victims of gun violence is said to be reaching crisis point this morning with many dead people...
Crooked Hilary Exposed Again
In the wake of the ongoing email scandal, an intrepid Rochdale Herald researcher, Douglas, has uncovered a series of other scandals that the...
New tariffs ensure American guns used to shoot American children made from American metal
Donald Trump has just revealed that the reason behind the new Steel Import Tariffs is to mitigate concerns that the deadly and easily purchased...
Steve Bannon ‘resigns’ to spend more time with his prejudices
Steve Bannon has announced that he'll now have more time to be with his prejudices following his sacking by mutual consent earlier today.
A White...
Too soon since last mass shooting and not long enough before next one to...
In the wake of the latest mass shooting in a bar in Ohio that has claimed the lives of at least 9 people The White...
Half of Trump Supporters Gullible Obese Idiots and the other Half deplorable Racist A-holes...
In the wake of the "scandal" surrounding Hillary Clinton's comments describing half of Trump supporters as a "basket of deplorables", The Rochdale Herald commissioned...
