Obama rushed to hospital after biting through lip during Trump press conference

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President Barack Obama was rushed to hospital yesterday after sustaining injuries during a press conference. Herald reporter Scott McCracknee was there and describes what happened. "Mr...
Steve Bannon

Steve Bannon ‘resigns’ to spend more time with his prejudices

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Steve Bannon has announced that he'll now have more time to be with his prejudices following his sacking by mutual consent earlier today. A White...

Trump promises to help Puerto Ricans who present him with dry US birth certificates

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President Donald Trump has responded to criticism of his failure to rush aid to Puerto Rico in the wake of Hurricane Maria by promising...

Trump Outraged To Learn of Invention of Phonograph

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Taking to Twitter, So Called President Trump rounded on critics of his administration within the media, and their underhand strategy of recording stuff. "Edison fake American....

All guns to be armed with guns

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In the wake of the latest mass shooting of innocent people to take place on U.S. soil, the National Rifle Association has issued a...

Trump Invades Iraq

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President Trump has declared war on Iraq after a five minute conversation with Tony Blair. The former British PM, referred to by White House officials...

Over-exaggerating totally different to lying your arse off

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Swimmer and US gold medal winning bullshitter, Ryan Lochte, has sort of apologised for making things up. The lying git said that his description of...

If All the Jews had died in the Holocaust then Saturday’s massacre wouldn’t have...

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POTATUS, Donald Trump attended a memorial for the victims of the Tree of Life Synagogue shooting yesterday.   After publicly stating that people should come together...

Hillary Clinton’s ‘Human Suit’ malfunctions at 911 memorial service

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The Presidential frontrunners cybernetic 'human suit' momentarily glitched at the recent 911 memorial service at ground zero yesterday, the third time this has happened...

OJ Simpson appointed White House press secretary

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Tongues are wagging in Washington today over what seems too convenient for coincidence as OJ Simpson is rumoured about to be appointed as Sean...

Child struggling with his job watches a kid with a lawnmower

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A child struggling to do his job took time out of his day to watch a kid push a lawn mower at the White House the other day.
Doctors

Donald Trump Is Disappearing Up His Own Arse

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American scientists confirmed last night that US President, Donald Trump, is close to completely disappearing up his own arse. Professor Steven Sigmoid...

Trump abandons plans to build wall, resolves to plant Leylandii hedge on Mexican border

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Donald Trump has announced that he's no longer going to demand money to build a wall at the border between the United States and...

Satirist sues CNN for stealing Trump Headline

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The Rochdale Herald has issued a cease and desist letter to CNN after they stole a satirical headline about Donald Trump.

When the world Trumps, you better dodge that draft

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Look at him. He’s the lad you thought was a prick at school but you still went round his house because he had a decent back garden for you to leck footy in. Except he was shit at it, and had right bad hayfever.

Scandal as Trump attempts to circumvent physical laws

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In his bid to become master of the universe, Donald Trump has postulated a new set of axioms about the physical universe as we...

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