Hartman on Trump – POTUS’s US Marine Corp induction transcript revealed

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Following the sad and untimely death of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman of the US Marine Corps, The Rochdale Herald has obtained an exclusive transcript of...

Trump rushed to John Hopkins with severe burns

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Donald Trump is said to be in a stable but critical condition this morning after being rushed to hospital suffering from self inflicted third...

Nuttall Claims Best Actor At Oscars

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Armenian born British Actor Constantine Felangi, better known by his stage name of Paul Nuttall, seized the coveted golden statue for Best Actor at...
Donald Trump

Trump in hiding as NRA call for curb ‘on rapid fire tools’

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DONALD TRUMP is believed to be in hiding tonight after the National Rifle Association called for a clamp-down on “rapid fire tools”. This has been...
Donald Trump

New tariffs ensure American guns used to shoot American children made from American metal

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Donald Trump has just revealed that the reason behind the new Steel Import Tariffs is to mitigate concerns that the deadly and easily purchased...
Michael Flatley

Michael Flatley confirmed as world’s second biggest wanker

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Rhino horn collector and jig enthusiast Michael Flatley confirmed today that he is the World's second biggest wanker after announcing he will perform a jig at Trump's Inauguration Ball.
Mechanic

‘The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a car, is a...

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"You want this sort of thing to happen less often? You don’t need to ban cars, you need to ban piece of sh*t, Nazi-sympathising, race-hating, white supremacist assh*les from marching through city streets with burning torches," said one Antifa protestor.

IRS look forward to “getting to the bottom” of Trump’s Federal Income Tax “I’m...

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Surgical glove manufacturer Sphinctoraw Inc got a surprise order for 110,000 pairs of elbow length surgical gloves from the IRS. The order was placed...

Latin America overdoses on Irony as CIA complains Russia rigged US election

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Thousands of people are feared dead in Central and Latin America this week after literally laughing their heads off at the news that the...
Man with shocked face

Trump appoints David Duke to head Black Lives Don’t Matter initiative

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Dr David Duke, former Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan, Senate hopeful and all American Nazi Screwball, has accepted President Elect Donald Trump’s offer of a key advisory role in his new government.
FBI

There was nothing to tip us off about that bloke who bought 33 guns...

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The FBI have reiterated that there were absolutely no clues that a bloke who bought thirty three semi-automatic rifles in one year might have...
Donald Trump

Worst thing to happen in America today was my hair got wet, Trump tells...

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The actual real life president of the United States of America told the Future Farmers of America Convention that the worst thing to happen...
Trump

Trump allowed to leave Whitehouse on his own for first time

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President Trump has arrived in Saudi Arabia on the first leg of his International tour. Before landing Mr Trump told the Herald, "We have much in...

US celebrates after number of days so far this year overtakes number of mass...

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Americans across America are celebrating the fact that for the first time since the invention of calendars there have been more days in the...

Trump says he didn’t sexually assault 3.52 billion other women

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Bewigged bouffant buffoon, Donald J. Trump, an actual potential president, made the claim at his latest rally. The tiny handed eater of souls came under...

New York Times Reported to the House Committee for Un-American Activities

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The New York Times, long considered to be the lap-dog mouthpiece of the Commie-loving East-coast foreigner, has finally (and thankfully) been reported to the...

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