Donald’s diddy digits dodge draft

0
As the smokescreen around Donald Trump's draft dodging tactics intensifies The Rochdale Herald has uncovered startling new evidence. The story currently being spun is that...
Scaramucci

I only just learned how to spell Scaramucci and he’s been fucking fired, complains...

18
A highly paid and widely syndicated satirist has complained about the firing of the White House Head of Communications Antony Scarymuchly, as he’s only...

National holiday declared as USA goes 6 days without mass shooting

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This is the closest to a full week that the US has gone without a mass shooting since 'The Great Week of Peace' in...
Trump Supporters

Trump discovers one weird trick to increasing attendance at his rallies

3
The White House has confirmed that Donald Trump has found a weird trick to increasing attendance at his rallies. During a speech given to Texas...

Trump University launches alternative science course

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Donald Trump has announced the launch of a new science course that will be taught at Trump University from September. The course will feature subject matter...

Even Hitler didn’t treat his press secretary as badly as this says Sean Spicer

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Sean Spicer has been explaining how badly he has been treated by Donald Trump. Speaking to an assembled press corps Mr Spicer said, "Even...
Steve Bannon

Crazy bastard calls crazy bastard a crazy bastard

0
A crazy bastard who works in the White House has accused a former employee of being a crazy bastard. The crazy bastard apparently "disavowed' the...
Trump Supporters

Trump recorded saying “Trump Supporters are fat, racist white trash”

0
‘Rumours that Donald Trump described his legions of supporters as "obese trailer park trash" and "uneducated fucking idiots" are yet to be confirmed.

I don’t make mistakes says man who accidentally got himself elected President

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A giant orange man child who accidentally got himself elected President of the United States during a publicity stunt for his gaudy golf course business announced live on television that he doesn't make mistakes, immediately before making a mistake.
White House

White House denies that men in white coats are coming to take Trump away

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Electing Donald 'The Donald' Trump as their president was undoubtedly one of the most mystifying decisions made by the American people since changing the...

Trump Admits ‘I’d Actually Prefer Snowden To Farage’

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President-elect Donald Trump revealed today that although he had expressed a preference for Nigel Farage as UK ambassador to the USA, this was a...
Hurricane

State of emergency declared as Hurricane Dorian heads towards rich white people

47
Category 4 hurricane 'Dorian' has caused devastation throughout the Bahamas this week. The hurricane has broken previous records of longest sustained category 5 status and...

Trump nominates Bill Cosby for US Supreme Court

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Bill Cosby has been elected to the US Supreme Court after being sentenced for sex assault. Cosby, who today received a 10 year sentence for...

Trump calls for ‘total and complete shutdown’ of dinosaurs entering US after seeing new...

0
Donald Trump has called for a 'total and complete shutdown' of dinosaurs entering the United States after inadvertently watching the new trailer for Jurassic...

David Duke retracts Trump endorsement saying no room for “locker room banter” in politics

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In sensational news today David Duke, the former head of the Ku Klux Klan, has withdrawn his support for Republican Presidential Candidate Donald Trump.

Trump loses grip on reality, demands to be new Dr Who.

1
US President Donald Trump has called on the BBC to appoint him as the new Dr Who. In a series of tweets at 3am this...

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