Breaking: The person trespassing on the White House has been revealed as Nigel Farage

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A spokesperson for White House Security has just confirmed that the intruder apprehended today was Nigel Farage. Mr. Farage was promptly arrested after scaling the...

NASA announce Kellyanne Conway is not of this world

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NASA has announced it will hold a press conference later this week to reveal new discoveries "of significant importance, "beyond our solar system". The agency...

KKK David Duke polling better with black voters than Donald Trump

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In news that feels like it should be satire but is in fact oddly true, Dr David Duke, the Grand Wizard of The Ku...

Trump Team Dismiss 9 Year-Old ‘Body Swap’ Claims

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A spokesperson for Donald Trump has described as “absurd” claims being made by a Wisconsin couple that the President-elect is actually their 9 year-old son.  Mike and...

Trump’s presidency is ‘metaphorical, not literal’, says Spicer

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Following unsubstantiated wiretapping allegations, president Trump’s press secretary, Sean Spicer, has argued that Trump is the metaphorical president and leader of the free world,...
Trump

After being pussy whipped by North Korea, Trump turns his attention to Afganyst Agfhanist...

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Having been pussy-whipped by North Korea in the Pacific, US president Donald Trump has signalled his readiness to turn his military attention to Afganyst...

Thank God it was a lone wolf with mental issues and not a terrorist...

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More than 50 people have been killed and over 200 injured in a gun attack in Las Vegas, Nevada, today. It has become the...
Donald Trump

White House desperately concealing news of Twitter character increase from Trump

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The twittersphere is in overdrive this morning with millions of users tweeting out their hope that the White House is able to conceal the...

Kim and Kanye arrive at White House to plead for Melania’s freedom

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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are reported to be heading to the White House in order to plead for Melania Trump's freedom. A press officer...
Beynonce Knowles

We need buoyancy aids not Beyonce aid, say Houston flood victims

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Residents of Houston were bemused by an offer from pop star Beyonce offering help for those affected by the recent flooding. “We asked for buoyancy...

Conspiracy theorists concerned nobody might be in charge after all

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American conspiracy theorists heads are exploding at an alarming rate as the two main presidential candidates get more and more terrible. "Up until yesterday I was...

Election Was Rigged Claims Trump – Recount Demanded

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Donald Trump has sensationally claimed that the 2016 US Presidential Election was rigged and he is demanding a recount.

Trump’s spin doctor quits complaining of dizzy spells

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Donald Trump's chief spin doctor Tuesday quit his job in the White House complaining of "dizzy spells". Mike Dubke, who only took up the role...

Putin’s money was just resting in my account Trump tells James Comey

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Donald Trump has dismissed as fake news any suggestion that money that has appeared in his account is anything to do with collusion with...
Trump Golf

Scientists confirm Donald Trump’s ego and waistline are inflating at an alarming rate

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Scientists have today confirmed that, President of the United States, Donald Trump is inflating at an alarming rate. On his Inauguration Day on 20th...

Donald’s diddy digits dodge draft

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As the smokescreen around Donald Trump's draft dodging tactics intensifies The Rochdale Herald has uncovered startling new evidence. The story currently being spun is that...

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