Trump’s presidency is ‘metaphorical, not literal’, says Spicer
Following unsubstantiated wiretapping allegations, president Trump’s press secretary, Sean Spicer, has argued that Trump is the metaphorical president and leader of the free world,...
Actor playing Donald Trump forgets stage directions
Due to White House budget cuts, an experienced but cheap actor was selected for the part. Bit part "character actor" Rowle Player is best...
Thank God it was a lone wolf with mental issues and not a terrorist...
More than 50 people have been killed and over 200 injured in a gun attack in Las Vegas, Nevada, today.
It has become the...
Giuliani wins Black Man of the Year
Raving Republican Trump-nugget and ex New York mayor, Rudy Giuliani, was voted Black Man of the Year today after it turned...
Virginia to ban books instead of burning them
Parents from the Virginia School District have called for an immediate ban on all novels that contain the n-word.
To Kill a Mockingbird, Of Mice...
Donald Trump’s penis not bigger than Kim Jong Un’s, confirms Ivanka Trump
Sources close to the President have confirmed that Donald Trump's willy is not bigger than Kim Jong Un's.
It is being reported around the world...
Donald’s diddy digits dodge draft
As the smokescreen around Donald Trump's draft dodging tactics intensifies The Rochdale Herald has uncovered startling new evidence.
The story currently being spun is that...
Bad guys with guns get more practice complain good guys with guns
Good guys with guns in America went on the record this morning to complain they're unfairly getting a bad reputation after failing to prevent the 2078th successive mass shooting since 2,000.
I only just learned how to spell Scaramucci and he’s been fucking fired, complains...
A highly paid and widely syndicated satirist has complained about the firing of the White House Head of Communications Antony Scarymuchly, as he’s only...
‘News media so fake’ says perma-tanned, toupee-wearing septuagenarian
The world's favourite orange leader has been ranting about his pet hate once again. The issue of so-called “Fake news” is now well within...
President Trump In Deep Water Over Puerto Rico
President Donald Trump has found himself in the middle of a storm of controversy recently following his comments about Puerto Rico.
At a press...
Trump to celebrate Father’s Day by bathing in the tears of abducted child immigrants
US President Donald Trump is to celebrate his second Father's Day in the White House by having a bath filled with the tears of...
Saying racists shouldn’t say racist things is racist against racists, Trump tells Democrats
Donald Trump has taken Twitter to defend the rights of racists across America to say and do really racist things.
"Racists are a minority just...
Germany to face sanctions for failing to help US during D-Day landings
Donald Trump has today announced a huge package of far reaching sanctions against Germany after discovering that Germany failed to help the US during...
Why does this keep happening, asks country selling guns without doing background checks
A country who sells weapons over the counter to anybody who wants one is stumped at how it can be home to so many...
Putin gives Trump “requires improvement” rating during annual appraisal meeting
Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin have sought to deny allegations that President Trump has been awarded a, "requires improvement" rating during his first one...
