Other News

Several newspapers are complaining that today's kids spend less than half the time playing out as their parents did after a survey from The National trust was published. After thirty years of saying that every...

Scores of young, underpaid trainee journalists have been drowsily typing up their reviews of the night tube over the last two mornings as their editors sleep in.? "It's the frigging tube but later," said talented...

The author of the '50 Shades' series of erotic novels, E.L. James, has dismissed allegations that she is responsible for the public's increasing desire to be fucked by rich white people. As polls continue to...

Welsh UKIPper, Andrew “IQ not very” Haigh doesn't just sell bullshit through his party, it transpires. The national organiser for Wales also sells utter bollocks in physical form. Haigh runs a company called Vitalox that promises...

News that the UK's first halal food bank is to open in Rochdale this week was greeted enthusiastically by local residents and village elders alike. Visitors to the food bank will have to remove their...

A massive turd that is blocking the downstairs bog next to the Cabinet Meeting Room in Downing Street has been studiously ignoring hints that he isn’t welcome in the building. The steaming piece of feculence...

The Prime Minister claims the possible loss of up to twenty MPs from a working majority of seventeen in the run-up to Brexit is "absolutely not a factor" in her decision to circumvent the...

After news broke this week that one half of comic duo Reeves and Mortimer had landed a role in Coronation Street, technerds immediately got to work hacking Granada for the scripts and have now...

Donald Trump told supporters at a rally today that accusations that Hillary Clinton mishandled emails during her tenure as Secretary of State were much worse than accusations that he has raped at least one...

Dave Vidual, Head Chair of the National Association of Anarchists, said yesterday in a shockingly frank admission that most anarchists, while diametrically opposed to the concept of the police as an extension of the...

Paedophile sex pests across England and Wales are to be fitted with bells, in a new scheme announced by the police today. The new devices will be shackled to the necks, wrists, ankles and trouser...

In a surprise move, the Pope has announced plans to beatify Roger Moore, the popular actor who has very sadly passed away today. The Pope was a keen fan of the 1960s TV show and had...

The city was jubilant this morning after the news that a lengthy battle to grant one of Rochdale's most popular locations the status as the first government sanctioned dogging site in the UK came...

Early last week news broke that Peter Capaldi will stepping down from the iconic role after this year's Christmas special. Speculation has been rife as to who will replace Capaldi in the Doctor's next incarnation,...

Britain is going to reclaim its sovereignty and make itself great again by sticking two fingers up at Europe and adopting every law and all of its rules and regulations. Unelected dictator for life, Theresa...

Hard-hitting documentary Doctor Who, dedicated to exposing the harsh reality of spontaneously-regenerating Time Lords, has become 'a laughing stock ruined by periods', agree internet experts. Men with access to a computer have unanimously agreed that...