Other News

Justin Bieber has cancelled the remainder of his world tour after 1.4bn Chinese people demanded it. A publicist told us, "Premature endings are always disappointing. I can attest to that. This has been a long...

Following Theresa May's unsurprising announcement of a snap general election, Jeremy Corbyn has made a press statement. Stood in front of a dozen media representatives he said; "We at the Labour party are celebrating this news; half of...

Less then 24 hours after fewer than half of UKIP members voted for part time Ronnie Wood lookalike Diane James to be their new leader Herr Farage has once again thrown his hat into...

As you stagger to the bathroom in the morning, arriving before you remember you have knees, and try to get all your strikingly yellow piss in the bowl, even though you're a woman, it's...

A driver has defended parking his car across two spaces in a supermarket car park saying "no one would have batted an eyelid if I wasn't a bloke" Mark Ranley, from Doncaster, was criticised on...

Rochdale liberal Gerard Sutherland has told his wife that he only visits the Daily Mail website for the Z-list 'celebrity' tits and ass, and definitely not for the articles. The Guardian-reading father of two was...

After ten years everybody and their dog is still absolutely convinced that they know exactly what happened in the Maddie McCann tragedy in Portugal. “It’s obvious innit?” said Terry McPeeder from Kent, “all the evidence...

NHS hating, pathological liar and leader of UKIP, Paul Nuttall, has today pulled out of the Stoke by-election after it was revealed that his remaining close personal friends were killed in the Swedish terror attack...

Possibly... The female reporters at the Herald have been watching Cheryl Fernandez-Versini's tummy with quivering anticipation. And now we can exclusively reveal that 33-year-old Cheryl, is both PREGNANT and NOT PREGNANT. The serial bride has been...

After years of negotiations and any number of setbacks the much-anticipated wall of fame to celebrate our most cherished home-grown talents could soon be a reality. A number of campaigns over the past ten years...

Weasels are up in arms at being compared to Michael Gove after reading an article in The Telegraph today that speculated that he may have "weaselled" his way into Theresa May's cabinet.

Stoke's election Returning Officer was forced to admit to an embarrassing mistake when he opened the wrong envelope and declared Labour had won. "I was handed an envelope by someone very junior and it had...

There is outrage in many political and charitable quarters today after rumours emerged that senior members of the Labour Party have been selling Remembrance Day poppies and memorabilia to supplement their parliamentary incomes.

Channel 4 have announced a new meta-programming initiative with which it hopes to exceed the success of the Gogglebox franchise. The new programming will further abstract the viewer from the action under discussion, creating...

The trio who recently opted out of any future appearances on Great British Bake Off after its acquisition by Channel 4 announced the news earlier today. The decision stangely coincides with the news that the...