Other News

It was announced this morning by a genuinely startled press that international rating agency Moody’s has downgraded the UK credit status to junk after finally realising who is in charge of the country. The UK’s...

British holidaymakers and Brexit voters on their way to France had the opportunity to learn what the term "French border control" actually means over the last couple of days. The French, who are famous for...

The voting public was aghast today to discover that a career politician has been lying and spinning the facts through the media in order to promote his own agenda. In the first time in the...

The Government has been urged to hold a referendum on euthanasia following research that showed that 52% of voters would support the introduction of euthanasia to the UK. A survey of Britons has found that...

Owen Smith is not a man who flinches from an unnecessary challenge out of a risk of public humiliation. In fact, so ready is he to debase himself in public he’s likely to challenge Jeremy...

It’s been revealed that American President Donald Trump and Russian President Vladamir Putin have agreed to partition Poland between their two countries. Both leaders agreed that whenever despots come to power ‘it’s Poland which...

Recent medical studies have found a direct link between xenophobic thoughts and the rampant outbreak of Nuttalls in the U.K. Closely resembling a haemorrhoid, a Nuttall is a pink, puss filled boil that can appear...

Eurosceptic holidaymakers are swapping Corfu for Cornwall, Lanzarote for Llandudno. British travel agents report that Brits are going to UK destinations they never knew existed. "We couldn't go to Paris, obvs," says Frances Horrible, "so...

Liberal democrat leadership candidate "SIR" Vince Cable has been left looking a plum strawberry fool after his claim that Britain was running out of strawberries because of a shortage of migrant fruit pickers was...

The NHS has declared that it's probably a better use of money to invest in tap water than provide homeopathy provision. NHS spokesperson Dr Gary Tackle said, "Frankly we've never had much luck with homeopathy....

In a controversial move, the BBC has announced it will be 'normalising' it's guidelines for showing scenes of violence, by banning all images of the crucifixion. This will not be a new policy, it says,...

Outraged music lovers everywhere have been devastated by the news that Brexit will cause the Three Tenors to be devalued to £17.93. Observers have noted that the fall in value of the Pound has coincided...

Sir Antony Jay, the creator of Yes Minister has died taking with him UK satire. All we have left is the equivalent of a thousand news readers flinging their own excrement at a cardboard...

?Staff arriving for work at the new Rochdale Waitrose were surprised to find a car park full of Range Rovers and a queue of concerned looking women at the door waiting for the store to open. “Initially...

A man and a woman managed to see news stories shared on Facebook today without thinking it proved what they already believe.  Duncan Merchant from Rochdale, 35, and Chloe S Patton from Leicester, 44, saw...

Tory Chief Whip, Francis Gavin Urquhart Williamson, has advised the parliamentary Conservative party during a closed meeting that the beatings will continue until morale improves. Devlin Halfrun, a junior minister in the Dept for Getting...