Celebrity

The BBC is in a state of chaos and panic  this evening as they desperately scramble to find a replacement for Children in Need stalwart Pudsey Bear, who was sensationally arrested on fraud charges...

A writer for a satirical news site recently spent a lot of time saying that Jeremy Clarkson and Co's new Grand Tour show was going to flop. Now he's been shown to be utterly wrong,...

In an official statement released this afternoon, God has apologised for the ongoing massacre of talent this year, blaming it on recent pressure to beef up Heaven’s on-site entertainment. The statement, published on the Vatican...

Downing Street has just announced that it intends to implement a ‘National Treasure’ preservation scheme, in a bid to avoid any further British legends dying before the end of 2016.  Following an emergency COBRA meeting...

The BBC has forced Sir Alan Sugar to allow everyone in the current series of The Apprentice to be given a job in the final episode to meet with its inclusive fairness policy. A change...

Both the scientific and pseudo-scientific communities express a modicum of shock as tousle-haired synth-pop supremo and thinking housewives favourite Professor Brian Cox is sworn in as the new president of Flat Earth Society. Establishment figureheads...

A woman has come forward claiming Sir Cliff Richard raped her cat while staying at her family home in Heywood. The fresh accusations will come as a blow to the worn-out pop legend, who was only...

Cliff Richard, the long term bachelor and non-nonce, who our lawyers remind us isn't gay either, has been talking to the tabloid newspapers about how much he wishes the accusations against him would go...

Finally some good news! The nation was overcome with emotion today as positive confirmation came through that sexual assault based 'comedian' and professional pick up artist Dapper Laughs had at long last vanished up...

Following the implementation of new software allowing users to see just what exactly brings visitors to their website based on Googled search terms, a local Herald reporter has shamefully and cynically exploited the system by...

82 year old legend, and the only man currently able to wear a Fedora without looking like an absolute twat, Leonard Cohen has announced that he is ready to die. Although not in any actual...

In breaking news Piers Morgan has burned to death in a devasting chip pan fire in a static caravan at Hollingsworth Lake Caravan Park

News is emerging that 1990's TV stars Rosie and Jim have been arrested and are now facing deportment following the repeal of the European Convention on Human Rights. The TV stars, real names Bratislav...

A sticker showing Prince William and The Duchess of Cambridge along with a depiction of two fingers raised in a V sign has caused some consternation in Rochdale. The sticker appeared in the back window...

The trio who recently opted out of any future appearances on Great British Bake Off after its acquisition by Channel 4 announced the news earlier today. The decision stangely coincides with the news that the...