Thanks Mahmut. Inventor of Donner Kebab Dies Aged 87

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The man who invented the doner kebab has died. Mahmut Aygun, was suffering from cancer and died in Berlin at the age of 87. Known as...

Theresa May summons devil to discuss Syria

The prime minister has summoned the devil to discuss the government's response to a suspected chemical weapons attack in Syria. They are expected to discuss...

Incest enthusiast congratulates infidelity enthusiast

Amateur golfer and incest enthusiast Donald Trump has congratulated the UK's infidelity champion Boris Johnson on becoming the latest worst Prime Minister in living...

Secret Service distance themselves from Trump’s Twitter account

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The Secret Service, the department responsible for the security of the US President, has taken steps to distance themselves from Donald Trump's Twitter account.

Trump Replaces White House With Blimp

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President Donald Trump took to the skies over Washington today in a giant, orange blimp. The President is believed to have made the decision...
Punggye-ri

North Korea piccalilli factory in full production – SHOCKING satellite images show

CHILLING satellite photographs show North Korean chemical factories are manufacturing weapons grade piccalilli in horrifying quantities. Grainy images at first sight lead viewers to think...
Mechanic

‘The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a car, is a...

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"You want this sort of thing to happen less often? You don’t need to ban cars, you need to ban piece of sh*t, Nazi-sympathising, race-hating, white supremacist assh*les from marching through city streets with burning torches," said one Antifa protestor.
Trump furious to learn Farage isn't 'King of England'

Trump furious to learn Farage isn’t ‘King of England’

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President-elect, Donald Trump, learned that Nigel Farage is not the King of England and that the monarch is in fact a female, on an...
Trump Bed

Is Trump as well hung as May’s Parliament?

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Hard on the heels of the revelation that President Donald Trump has fake Time Magazine covers hanging on the walls of his golf course...

Australia in early fireworks embarrassment

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We have heard news that fireworks have been sighted a full 12 hours before new year in Syndney Harbour, Australia. The fireworks that were reported to...
Donald Trump

If it wasn’t for these pesky bone spurs I’d have stopped shooter myself, says...

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Actual real-life President of the United States Donald Trump told a press conference earlier today that if it wasn't for the debilitating bone spurs...

Pornhub to hide videos between pages of print for 24hrs in tribute to Hefner

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Online mega porn hub, Pornhub, has announced it will hide every video on its webpage between pages of unnecessary print journalism for twenty four...

Virginia to ban books instead of burning them

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Parents from the Virginia School District have called for an immediate ban on all novels that contain the n-word.  To Kill a Mockingbird, Of Mice...

Donald Trump’s penis is largest the world has ever seen says Donald Trump

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Donald Trump has asked his propaganda secretary, Sean Spicer, to assure The White House press corps that President Trump's penis is "the largest penis in the history of penises. Period!"

WW3 inevitable as Boris Johnson prank calls Putin and leaves burning bag of dog...

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Hetrosexual Russian leader, Vladimir Putin immediately responded by sending a fleet of Grade 50 ballistic war ships to British waters.  He then instructed 4 million...
Donald Trump female

Mayor of New Orleans accidentally summons Donald Trump after saying ‘Hurricane’ five times

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Mitch Landrieu, the Mayor of New Orleans has told has told us that he inadvertently summoned Donald Trump to New Orleans. The Mayor said, "I...

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