Biff Tannen secures Republican Party presidential nomination
The world was horrified but not terribly surprised to discover this morning that professional gambler and self-styled American oligarch Biff Tannen secured the US...
Only two FBI directors until Christmas
Christmas is coming, the POTUS is getting fat. Please to put a penny in the old man's retirement fund.
Following the latest Trumptastrophy in Alabama,...
Trump: tinfoil a good defence against mind control rays
President-elect Donald J Trump has announced a groundbreaking and cutting edge technology to combat the growing menace of conspiracies facing the US.
He is well...
Teaching children to Zig Zag best way to avoid school shooting fatalities, say NRA
In the wake of yet another mass school shooting in the USA the National Rifle Association have suggested that the tragedy could have been...
Tower Block residents look forward to less health and safety legislation post Brexit
A recent survey of tenants living in firetrap and substandard accommodation has showed overwhelming support for abolishing laws designed to protect them.
The survey for...
Theresa May admits using ‘BREXOMATHICS’ to calculate number of overstaying foreign students
"It's so simple, you take a real number and keep doubling it until everyone's eyes light up," explained May pointing out that it worked...
Trump and Putin fail to beat each other in two hour long rock, paper,...
Presidents Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin met face to face for the first time in public yesterday and went for each other in a...
Donald Trump denies allegations he has rigged erections
The allegation was made by Anthony "Fandango" Scaramucci following his removal from post.
The President's former tiny-right-hand man lashed out indiscriminately at his former...
Trump sues porn star for breaching confidentiality agreement about affair he claims not to...
Lawyers for the actual President of the United States of America are seeking $20 million in damages from a porn star who he says...
Eric Trump banned from All-Valley Championships after breaking Daniel Larusso’s leg
There was fresh controversy in the Trump camp this morning as allegations emerged of cheating in the All-Valley Karate Championships.
In a blow to the...
Germany devoid of German Christmas markets
German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.
With every British town apparently...
American lawmakers to submerge Donald Trump in barrel of water to see if he...
It was announced today via The USA news site that Donald Trump will be immersed in a barrel of water to see if he...
Vladimir Putin invites world leaders ’round to mine for drinks and nibbles’
Vladimir Putin has today appealed for calm amid the escalating tension between Russia and the rest of the world, and has invited all current...
If it wasn’t for these pesky bone spurs I’d have stopped shooter myself, says...
Actual real-life President of the United States Donald Trump told a press conference earlier today that if it wasn't for the debilitating bone spurs...
Scandal as Trump attempts to circumvent physical laws
In his bid to become master of the universe, Donald Trump has postulated a new set of axioms about the physical universe as we...
Da Vinci’s ‘My Spunky Pantaloons’ sells for £45m
A previously unknown Leonardo da Vinci work "My Spunky Pantaloons" has been bought bought by Charles Saatchi for £45m.
The jizzy kecks will be...
