Trump to surprise himself with another Trump portrait for Valentine’s Day

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In another sign of his commitment to his relationship with himself Trump has commissioned another portrait of himself as a surprise Valentine's gift to...
Donald Trump

Actor playing Donald Trump forgets stage directions

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Due to White House budget cuts, an experienced but cheap actor was selected for the part. Bit part "character actor" Rowle Player is best...

North Korea fury after Trump sends dick pic following Kim Kardashian meeting

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North Korean media has reacted angrily after Donald Trump allegedly sent Kim Jong Un a photo of his genitalia. Spokesman for North Korea, Ban-Ki-Han-Ki said,...

Trump abandons plans to build wall, resolves to plant Leylandii hedge on Mexican border

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Donald Trump has announced that he's no longer going to demand money to build a wall at the border between the United States and...
Quantum Leap

Dr Samuel Beckett stuck in 2016 after failing to ‘put right what once went...

15
In the mid 1990's Physicist Dr Samuel Beckett blazed a trail by stepping into his Quantum Leap accelerator and vanishing. In actual fact he woke to...
International Thundercunt

Trump celebrates success of travel ban as many developed countries join voluntarily

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President Donald Trump, perhaps the funniest American president since the last republican one, has hailed the success of his travel ban after many developed...
Political Prisoners

North Korea accused of human rights abuses after forcing political prisoners to meet Donald...

There was widespread outrage across the international community this morning with Kim Jong Un facing fresh accusations of human rights abuses, torture and human...

President Trump to wear eclipse glasses when viewing the news to protect his thin...

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It was announced today via Twitter that President Trump will now wear eclipse glasses when viewing the news in order to protect his thin...

Biff Tannen secures Republican Party presidential nomination

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The world was horrified but not terribly surprised to discover this morning that professional gambler and self-styled American oligarch Biff Tannen secured the US...

NEWSFLASH – Trump withdraws from Election

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On the eve of the US Presidential Election Donald Trump has dramatically pulled out of the running. Don Trump, 58 and owner of Streamline Taxis...

Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme dies aged 73

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Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme has died aged 73. Filmmaker Jonathan Demme, whose Oscar-winning thriller "The Silence of the Lambs" terrified audiences and introduced...

Steve Bannon Torn Over Best Way To F*ck The Disabled

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Following reports that Donald Trump will no longer repeal an Executive Order protecting LGBT rights, White House insiders have revealed that his Chief Strategist,...

Barack Obama to narrate Audible version of Fire and Fury

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Barack Obama is to narrate the Audible version of US best-selling book, Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House. It's alleged that Mr Obama...

Gun sales rise 300% ahead of Trump Inauguration

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American gun sales have enjoyed a steep rise in the days leading up to the President elect's inauguration. "It's almost 200% more than when Bush...
Sorry Trump

Trump condemns dead soldier for not standing during national anthem

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President Donald Trump has rebuked allegations of inappropriate comments made by the grieving widow of a US soldier today by pointing out her husband...
Donald Trump

Trump attends Paris Armistice commemoration after hearing there is a golf course nearby

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POTATUS has attended an Armistice commemoration in Paris a day after demonstrating the sort of spirit that has earned him the nickname, Cadet Bone...

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