Condoms are a commie liberal plot to give everybody AIDS according to Trump VP

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Revelations of comments  made by Donald Trump's running mate, the 'Caucasian Executioner of Indiana', Mike Pence show that Governor Pence might not know how...

Trump Replaces White House With Blimp

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President Donald Trump took to the skies over Washington today in a giant, orange blimp. The President is believed to have made the decision...
Trump Salute

Trump demands to see soldier’s long form death certificate

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Donald Trump has demanded that the widow of Sgt La David Johnson release his long form death certificate following a row about whether or...

Trump tells California to use prostitute piss to put fires out

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POTATUS has offered to use Government money to harvest the piss of some Russian prostitutes to douse the fires in California. A spokesman said, "POTATUS...
Putin

Vladimir Putin invites world leaders ’round to mine for drinks and nibbles’

Vladimir Putin has today appealed for calm amid the escalating tension between Russia and the rest of the world, and has invited all current...
The Mooch

Scaramucci denies snorting cocaine in front of White House press corp

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Anthony Scaramucci, The Mooch, President Trump’s new distraction in chief, has denied snorting cocaine with a rolled up fifty dollar note jammed into his...
Donald Trump

Trump’s American Dream – 25 Million to Leave the Country

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Donald J. Trump unveiled a pledge on Thursday to create 25 million jobs over the next decade, but experts are arguing whether they strictly...
Steve Bannon

Crazy bastard calls crazy bastard a crazy bastard

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A crazy bastard who works in the White House has accused a former employee of being a crazy bastard. The crazy bastard apparently "disavowed' the...

Trump credited with restoring American faith in Bush

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Donald Trump has been given credit for restoring America's faith in Bush. One Bush expert told us, "10 years ago American faith in Bush was...

Small bald man held for questioning over fairground disappearance of six children

Police have arrested a small bald wizard in connection with the unsolved disappearance of six children between the ages of 8 and 15 at...
Steve Bannon

Donald Trump to present Steve Bannon with participation medal for service to America

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“Bannon great American. Cant find greater. So great. Greater than Kennedy. Kennedy loser. Got shot. Only losers get shot. Couldnt even drive own car. Bannon deserve medal for participation at White Hoise! Turned up every day even when I didn't!”

Bellend backs International Women’s Day by stopping sexist jokes for 24 Hours

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A Rochdale man has received praise worldwide for the noble idea of celebrating International Women's Day by boldly telling no sexist jokes for the...
Donald Trump Wig

Saudi Arabia’s handling of Khashoggi killing worst cover up ever, says completely bald man

A completely bald man who is convinced everybody thinks he has a full head of hair has criticised Saudi Arabia's handling of the killing...

OJ Simpson appointed White House press secretary

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Tongues are wagging in Washington today over what seems too convenient for coincidence as OJ Simpson is rumoured about to be appointed as Sean...
Theresa May

May gives Nigerian Prince sort code, account number and PIN in trade negotiations

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Theresa May has given her sort code, pin number and bank account number to a Nigerian Prince she's met whilst negotiating trade. The exchange came...
Gigantic Sky Penis

US Navy confirms gigantic sky penis ‘not aimed at any particular President’

US Navy officials have said that the penis drawn in the sky by one of their pilots using a fighter jet's contrails was absolutely...

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