Obi Wan Kenobi

‘What happened on Alderaan was terrible but I condemn the violence done by all...

7
Obi Wan Kenobi, under pressure from Yoda and other members of the ghost Jedi Council to condemn the destruction of Alderaan, has issued a...
Donald Trump

Trump’s American Dream – 25 Million to Leave the Country

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Donald J. Trump unveiled a pledge on Thursday to create 25 million jobs over the next decade, but experts are arguing whether they strictly...
Katie Hopkins

VICTORY! I am a racist, not a druggie says Hopkins

Katie Hopkins is celebrating her racist and drug-free status tonight, it has been confirmed. Hopkins, 67, made a complaint to the Independent Press Standards Organisation...

British Tomahawks Launched As Part Of U.S. Strike Hit Aledo

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It has been revealed that as part of Donald Trump's assault on Syria, two British missiles were launched. These missiles were said to be...
RAF Typhoon

What could possibly go wrong, asks West

Western leaders have suggested that nothing could possibly go wrong by attacking Syria and this time will definitely be different to Iraq, Afghanistan and...
Donald Trump

Too soon since last mass shooting and not long enough before next one to...

0
In the wake of the latest mass shooting in a bar in Ohio that has claimed the lives of at least 9 people The White...

Rogue State Threatens World Peace By Threatening To Totally Destroy North Korea

27
A rogue nation, governed by a lunatic, could be about to start a nuclear war on North Korea. The country, known in its native tongue...
Catalonia

Spain apologises to Catalonia saying I’m sorry you made me hit you

6
THE SPANISH GOVERNMENT'S representative in Catalonia has, sort of, apologised to those injured by the Iberian Stasi during Sunday's independence referendum. Enric Millo, playing the...

Donald Trump is a twat, confirm G6 leaders

Leader's of the G6 have agreed on the text of a communique officially declaring that Donald Trump is a twat. One spokesperson said, "It's been...

Hartman on Trump – POTUS’s US Marine Corp induction transcript revealed

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Following the sad and untimely death of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman of the US Marine Corps, The Rochdale Herald has obtained an exclusive transcript of...
Golf Resort

Trump ends feud with North Korea after golf resort deal agreed

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The world has been glued to the news whenever Donald Trump makes an announcement regarding the bitter rivalry with North Korea. As we have...
Statue of Liberty

Statue of Liberty planning move back to France

Following a public falling out today between the President of France and the Dictator of the United States of America the Statue of Liberty...
Ivanka and Donald Trump

Donald Trump ends democracy in America

22
I’ve decided Ivanka will come after me. I mean, she’s hot, and she has my gift with politics, so she’s the perfect choice

UN convene emergency meeting over Ant and Dec crisis

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The UN is to convene an extraordinary meeting in Geneva later today to discuss the situation following events which unfolded in the UK recently. The...

All your medals belong to us – Says China

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As the country basks in the glory of Team GB's second place in the Olympic medal table, China released a press statement saying, "The People's...
Katie Hopkins

Katie Hopkins killed and eaten by starving migrants

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Mail Online columnist Katie Hopkins' plan to drown migrants attempting to cross the Mediterranean to prevent them coming to the UK has been put...

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