Trump marks 50 years since Abraham Lincoln walked on Mars
Donald Trump has today given a speech suggesting that it's the 50th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln walking on Mars.
A spokesman for POTATUS said,...
U.S transgender community ‘relieved’ they will not die fighting for Trump
As President Trump, leader of the free world, announced that transgender citizens would no longer be allowed to serve the U.S. Armed forces in...
US Professor Seeks European Expertise to Erase 5 Years History from Text Books
The Head of History Faculty at Harvard University is to tour European institutions to discover the best ways to whitewash 5 years of history...
Trump condemns dead soldier for not standing during national anthem
President Donald Trump has rebuked allegations of inappropriate comments made by the grieving widow of a US soldier today by pointing out her husband...
Donald Trump wins ‘International Thundercunt of the Year Award’ after declaring war on children
President Donald Trump has been awarded the International Thundercunt of the Year Award following his decision to remove protections for young people brought into...
Bad guys with guns get more practice complain good guys with guns
Good guys with guns in America went on the record this morning to complain they're unfairly getting a bad reputation after failing to prevent the 2078th successive mass shooting since 2,000.
Area 51 to Close Aliens Expelled – Trump Conversation with Galactic Emperor ‘Worst...
Donald Trump has ordered the closure of Area 51 and the immediate expulsion of all aliens.
During a turbulent conversation with The Galactic Emperor, which...
Trump to introduce Hunger Games-style immigration policy
The matter of immigration has often been a contentious issue within politics, particularly American politics of late. During the campaign trail, Donald Trump promised...
Trump tells California, Cut down all the trees to prevent future forest fires
POTATUS has announced that if all the trees in California were cut down then there would be no forest fires.
POTATUS got the idea after...
Police fear French blogger killed in whipped cream accident may have topped herself
The international irony reservoir was overflowing this week as news came through that French lifestyle and fitness blogger, Becky Fromage-Burger, was slain in her...
Theresa May summons devil to discuss Syria
The prime minister has summoned the devil to discuss the government's response to a suspected chemical weapons attack in Syria.
They are expected to discuss...
Rothschilds ‘surprised’ at Trump victory but pleased in investment in US wall building company
The Rothschild family are set for a huge windfall following Donald Trump's 'surprise' success in the US election.
Trump Replaces White House With Blimp
President Donald Trump took to the skies over Washington today in a giant, orange blimp.
The President is believed to have made the decision...
Russian-branded Emperor’s new memo wallets causing security concerns
Two mysterious Russian stationery salesmen are coming under scrutiny tonight as memo wallets they supplied to government departments may not be all they are...
Steve Bannon ‘resigns’ to spend more time with his prejudices
Steve Bannon has announced that he'll now have more time to be with his prejudices following his sacking by mutual consent earlier today.
A White...
German families to heat homes using hot air from Donald Trump
German families are to use the hot air that emanates from Donald Trump to heat their homes.
The news was broken by the German Government...
