Julian Assange Loses Porn Privileges
Long term squatter julian Assange has lost his internet porn privileges at the Ecuadorian Embassy, where he lives in a cupboard, The Rochdale Herald...
Quackpot fundamentalist and friend of dictators finally canonised by paedophiles
Mother Theresa of Calcutta became Saint Theresa yesterday in a small ceremony in the Vatican. Saint Theresa, who passed through Rochdale on her way...
Oh for F**k’s sake – say world leaders following Trump nomination
Leaders around the world let out a simultaneous sigh of despair last night as the Republican Party confirmed Donald Trump's presidential nomination.
In yet another...
Trump celebrates success of travel ban as many developed countries join voluntarily
President Donald Trump, perhaps the funniest American president since the last republican one, has hailed the success of his travel ban after many developed...
Trump turns down White House sexual harassment course because ‘I’m already pretty good at...
News broke this morning that Donald Trump has turned down an offer from the White House human resources department to attend a special course...
Toymaker confesses he made Melania Trump to keep Pinocchio company
A Tuscan toymaker has ended days of speculation by confessing he made a new female doll to keep his infamous, lying, long nosed boy...
Revealed! What ‘Brexit’ means.
After months of denying that 'Brexit' could be defined in terms of anything other than being 'Brexit', the Government has finally announced what, in...
‘MPs Must Respect Democracy’ Demand People With Negligible Grasp Of Democracy
MPs from all parties and from all areas of Britain are being called upon by smug triumphalists to deliver a near unanimous vote in...
Trump to meet Putin in Osaka for annual appraisal
The US and Russian Governments have confirmed that Donald Trump's annual appraisal will be held in Helsinki this year on the 28th of June.
The...
Steve Bannon Torn Over Best Way To F*ck The Disabled
Following reports that Donald Trump will no longer repeal an Executive Order protecting LGBT rights, White House insiders have revealed that his Chief Strategist,...
Massive weapon condemns massive weapon’s massive weapon test
A massive weapon took to social media this morning to condemn the massive weapon test of another massive weapon.
It's unclear at this point who...
God outs Gay Gay-Hate preacher with biblical punitive flood
Pastor Tony Perkins, President of the Family Research Council and a particularly lamentable human being, has been hoist by his own petard and "outed"...
Trump gives world a ‘pearl necklace’ as withdrawal does not stop emissions
President Donald J. Trump will keep his promise not to come in the world’s mouth and insisted he would squirt his emissions onto the...
Nuclear Football replaced with state of the art 1979 Speak and Spell
The Secret Service and senior members of the National Security Council have taken drastic steps to toughen US Nuclear launch protocols during Donald Trump's presidency by replacing the Nuclear Football with 1979 Speak and Spell.
Disney Confirm Little Mermaid Killed By North Korean Missile Launch
Within the past few minutes the Walt Disney Company has released a statement confirming that Ariel, the Little Mermaid, was killed during Wednesday's North...
Area 51 to Close Aliens Expelled – Trump Conversation with Galactic Emperor ‘Worst...
Donald Trump has ordered the closure of Area 51 and the immediate expulsion of all aliens.
During a turbulent conversation with The Galactic Emperor, which...

















































