Spanish bullfighters win inaugural Animal Cruelty World Cup

Spain’s bullfighters have won the inaugural Animal Cruelty World Cup in Brazil, narrowly beating the foxhunters of England in the final. The competition, in...
Macron

Macron roasts Le Swan

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Emmanuel Macron last night served up a beautifully roasted swan at his victory dinner. The new French President was celebrating his victory with close...
Protestors

Democratic Democrats protest against anti-democratic democracy

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Protesters smashed windows and turned violent in Oregon and a few other places last night. “Trump is anti-democratic!” yelled the crowd protesting against the man...
Donald Trump

Trump to play 25 rounds of golf in honour of Texan dead

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Donald Trump has defended a decision to play 25 rounds of golf in Japan saying it's in honour of the dead in Texas. The gesture...

Sponsorship deal agreed for new Emirates Notre Dame Cathedral

Following the destruction of popular prayer centre Notre Dame Cathedral, the Pope and President Macron jointly announced today that the gothic edifice would be...

I wouldn’t rape a fat woman, I have standards – says Trump

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Thousands of Republican voters suffered serious head injuries yesterday after face palming themselves really hard during a Trump Rally.

Climate Change is a hoax insists Texan on a raft

7
Despite his trailer having flooded and all his possessions being lost to water damage, defiant Texan, Ray "Buckeye" McCready is travelling around his home state on a makeshift raft to convince others that climate change is a hoax.

Anyone actively calling for a war to be automatically drafted to the front line

Anybody saying there should be a war may be required to put their money where their mouth is in future.  In a new bid to...

Nuclear Football replaced with state of the art 1979 Speak and Spell

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The Secret Service and senior members of the National Security Council have taken drastic steps to toughen US Nuclear launch protocols during Donald Trump's presidency by replacing the Nuclear Football with 1979 Speak and Spell.
White Lives Matter

Bravery of white lives matter protesters saluted after US march

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I was born white and as such I face discrimination on a daily basis. Only the other day I was told I couldn't have a job in Starbucks because I have a swastika tattoo on my face. Apparently it may offend customers. It's because I'm white.
Putin Appraisal

President of The United States looking forward to meeting Donald Trump

Russian officials have confirmed that Vladimir Putin is looking forward to meeting Donald Trump in Helsinki next month. One told us, "The President is looking...
Alex Jones

Alex Jones discusses the Trump presidency

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Good evening. Today I am speaking to Radio host and Bacofoil and batshit salesman, Alex Jones.  Good afternoon, Alex. How are you feeling after Trump's rather...

Sweden not rocked by terrorist incident

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Hundreds of Swedes were not killed on Friday night by a terrorist attack. A suicide bomber, described by police as non-existent, failed to detonate explosives in a crowded shopping centre, or, indeed, anywhere else.

UKIP reveal solution to ‘Irish Problem’

Paul Nuttall revealed UKIP's Irish policy this afternoon and raised more hair than usual. "It's clear Ireland is a problem as the United Kingdom hurtles...
International Thundercunt

Donald Trump wins ‘International Thundercunt of the Year Award’ after declaring war on children

14
President Donald Trump has been awarded the International Thundercunt of the Year Award following his decision to remove protections for young people brought into...
Trump Airplane

Carolinians told to evacuate to avoid category 4 Trump visit

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Residents of the US State of Carolina have been warned to evacuate due to the threat of a category 4 visit from Donald Trump. State Governor,...

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