Donald Trump ends democracy in America
I’ve decided Ivanka will come after me. I mean, she’s hot, and she has my gift with politics, so she’s the perfect choice
We need buoyancy aids not Beyonce aid, say Houston flood victims
Residents of Houston were bemused by an offer from pop star Beyonce offering help for those affected by the recent flooding.
“We asked for buoyancy...
Racist Republicans deny that their voting districts are racist
Republicans in North Carolina deny that their voting districts were drawn up based on race.
After the Supreme Court ruled 5-3 that the boundaries were...
Scientists confirm Donald Trump’s ego and waistline are inflating at an alarming rate
Scientists have today confirmed that, President of the United States, Donald Trump is inflating at an alarming rate.
On his Inauguration Day on 20th...
Merkel Pulls Out of EU Security Council Talks as There’s No German Word for...
Angela Merkel broke off talks with the EU's British Security Commissioner this week that were about the worsening crisis affecting the free movement of people.
Actor playing Donald Trump forgets stage directions
Due to White House budget cuts, an experienced but cheap actor was selected for the part. Bit part "character actor" Rowle Player is best...
Obama calls for ban on rapists and racists from entering public office
In a shock move Barack Obama has called for a total ban on racist narcissists, rapists and tax evaders from entering public office until he can figure out "what the hell is going on."
President of corrupt shithole country to meet President of Nigeria Muhammadu Buhari
Nigerian President Muhammadu Buhari will become the first leader from sub-Saharan Africa to be received by the President of the corrupt North American tin...
He knew what he signed up for, says dickhead who doesn’t know what he...
Proving once and for all that sometimes the best thing to say is nothing, Donald Trump told the widow of a grieving soldier that...
My missile is bigger than your missile Trump tells Kim Jong Un
Donald Trump has started a Twitter row with Kim Jong Un over the size of their missiles.
Kim had yesterday claimed he possesses a missile...
Campaign to move Calais Jungle migrant Camp to Southend dubbed inhumane
Plans to move the makeshift refugee camp in Calais to Southend were quashed today after a cross party committee called the plans inhumane.
Refugees from...
Trump campaign an elaborate game of ‘Electoral Chicken’
Emails leaked from Donald Trump's campaign office over the weekend appear to show that the follically absurd pseudo-politician is engaged in a mass game...
Trump finds Rory McIlroy’s head in bed after throwing Koch off Golf Course
President-Elect Donald Trump has denied evicting the proper billionaire, libertarian gun nut and political financier behind the Tea Party, David Koch, from his exclusive...
NRA claims that fewer elephants would be shot by hunters if more of them...
The National Rifle Association has today put out a statement claiming that fewer African elephants would fall victim to big game hunters if they...
“We’re looking forward to getting out” say nuclear weapons.
Nuclear weapons all over the world are today looking forward to their upcoming launch as an opportunity to stretch their legs.
With launch codes about...
You lot all look the same to me, Jeremy Hunt tells wife and Chinese...
The UK's new foreign secretary Jeremy Hunt admitted yesterday that he can't tell his wife apart from the Chinese Foreign Minister because they both...
