Donald Trump

Worst thing to happen in America today was my hair got wet, Trump tells...

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The actual real life president of the United States of America told the Future Farmers of America Convention that the worst thing to happen...
Toffee pennies

Campaign to send 58 million toffee pennies to Syria

1
Overseas aid charity, Feed the World, has launched a campaign to collect everyone's unwanted Christmas 'treats' and send them to Syria and other war-torn...
Dumpster Fire

Dumpster fires unhappy about comparisons to US Democracy

13
Skip fires around the world have declared they are unhappy with being compared to the US democratic process.
Donald Trump Wig

‘News media so fake’ says perma-tanned, toupee-wearing septuagenarian

21
The world's favourite orange leader has been ranting about his pet hate once again. The issue of so-called “Fake news” is now well within...

Spirit of 2016 alive and well after gunman dressed as Santa kills dozens in...

4
2017 is already showing great promise as a dreadful, awful parody of a year following a shootout between police officers possibly disguised as Santa Claus and a gunman disguised as Santa Claus in Turkey.

Trump campaign an elaborate game of  ‘Electoral Chicken’

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Emails leaked from Donald Trump's campaign office over the weekend appear to show that the follically absurd pseudo-politician is engaged in a mass game...

Donald Trump to lift Muslim ban ‘with immediate effect’ after learning of Manchester protests

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The new President's controversial Muslim ban has caused outrage across the globe and chaos in airports all across the US. Last night thousands of protesters...
Erdogan

Rank outsider sweeps to completely surprising victory in Turkish Presidential election

A rank-outsider has swept to victory in Turkey's presidential election defying the odds to secure a third five year term. Election authority chief said "imagine...
Donald Trump

President Trump tells reporter to ‘lick my donkey balls’ and denies Donald Trump jnr...

3
Donald Trump mounted a sustained attack on the media during a fiery and at times chaotic news conference today, aggressively denying that Donald Trump...
Protestors

Democratic Democrats protest against anti-democratic democracy

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Protesters smashed windows and turned violent in Oregon and a few other places last night. “Trump is anti-democratic!” yelled the crowd protesting against the man...

Trump Spokesman Revealed As Black Knight

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The Herald can exclusively reveal today that the Trump campaign aide, Michael Cohen, is the mysterious Black Knight.   The secretive warrior and guard to stuff...
Putin Appraisal

Trump to meet Putin in Osaka for annual appraisal

The US and Russian Governments have confirmed that Donald Trump's annual appraisal will be held in Helsinki this year on the 28th of June. The...

Toymaker confesses he made Melania Trump to keep Pinocchio company

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A Tuscan toymaker has ended days of speculation by confessing he made a new female doll to keep his infamous, lying, long nosed boy...
Trump:May

Special relationship means you ask me for stuff and I tell you to get...

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Trump has confirmed that the status of ‘Special Relationship’ means that he basically ignores any request that Prime Minister May might ask of him...

Liam Fox Seeks Trade Deal With ISIS

International Trade Secretary Liam Fox will fly into Iraq later today in the hope of securing a trade deal with the so-called 'Islamic State'. Fox...
Venezuela

Sinn Fein election observer confirms Venezuelan blowjobs, cocaine and elections are best in world

"I've had my share of blowjobs," confirms Jarry Odoms, mouthpiece of Sinn Fein. "But nobody does erections, I mean elections, like the Venezuelans. Now...

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