America celebrates 50th anniversary of allegedly landing on the Moon

Today Americans across America are celebrating the 50thanniversary of humanity's alleged first footsteps on the Moon. "We're celebrating the 50thanniversary of perhaps the most historic...
Donald Trump

Donald Trump denies allegations he has rigged erections

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The allegation was made by Anthony "Fandango" Scaramucci following his removal from post. The President's former tiny-right-hand man lashed out indiscriminately at his former...
Dictionary entry for word "definition"

Trump defuses “alt facts” row by appointing Humpty Dumpty as Secretary of State for...

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US President Donald Trump today moved to defuse the smouldering row over the 'alternative facts' presented by his media counsellor Kellyanne Conway, by appointing fictional Alice-Through-the-Looking-Glass...
Corbyn

Corbyn finally condemns Chavez ‘He didn’t shoot enough rich people, happy now?’

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In a statement from the Department of People's Truth, Jeremy Corbyn "has not bowed to pressure of the Western lapdog media but instead led...
Soldier

U.S. military buys Viagra after being told troops need to “be hard”

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It has emerged this week that the U.S. military spend approximately £63 million annually on the popular medication which aids erectile dysfunction. This baffling...

All guns to be armed with guns

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In the wake of the latest mass shooting of innocent people to take place on U.S. soil, the National Rifle Association has issued a...
Angela Merkel

Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to fuck off in person

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Following historic meetings with world leaders such as Carwyn Jones and Nicola Sturgeon during her first week as British Prime Minister Theresa is set...

Hurricane Harvey considered least destructive 2020 presidential candidate

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In an attempt to win back votes from the orange-painted tweeting shitangutan, the Democrats have turned to Hurricane Harvey to stand as their candidate...
Red and green nebula

Trump Election Due To Cosmic Emissions Says Brian Cox

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Professor Brian Cox has explained the recent election of Donald Trump by pointing to a rare stellar phenomenon. The Oldham-but-not-Rochdale born scientist explained:- "On the 9th...
Angry

Everybody is an expert all of a sudden, complains Norn Iron

Unusual moment of unity sweeps province. “Yous, yous only gives a shite if it affects yous,” a spokeswoman said today. “Unless something happens on the...

Christmas moved to November 12th

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Theresa May's government yesterday announced plans to move Christmas forward this year to November the 12th, just in case we don't all reach December. The...
Time Magazine

Trump towers above the little people for TIME magazine

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President-elect of the USA Donald J Trump has been named “Person Of The Year” by TIME magazine which referred to its own nation as...
Obi Wan Kenobi

‘What happened on Alderaan was terrible but I condemn the violence done by all...

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Obi Wan Kenobi, under pressure from Yoda and other members of the ghost Jedi Council to condemn the destruction of Alderaan, has issued a...
The Mooch

Scaramucci denies snorting cocaine in front of White House press corp

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Anthony Scaramucci, The Mooch, President Trump’s new distraction in chief, has denied snorting cocaine with a rolled up fifty dollar note jammed into his...

Mike Pence attends Broadway musical by mistake

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Vice-President elect Mike Pence was roundly booed after he attended a performance of Broadway musical ‘Hamilton’ entirely by accident.
Trump and Mike Pence

President Trump recorded offering Mike Pence presidency in exchange for Trump family pardon ticket

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Leaked recordings of President Trump phoning vice president Mike Pence from a golf course appear to reveal the sitting president has offered Pence the...

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