Yemenis Grateful That Britain Tidying Up Arms Deals

 Ordinary Yemenis have taken a break from being killed by British and American bombs and weapons to thank the British Government for tightening up its complete and total breach of its own rules of...
Beekeeper

Beekeeper stung to death after Danish Police force him to remove veil

Denmark was in shock today after a Danish beekeeper was stung to death in a tragic apiculture accident in Denmark. The news comes just days after Marie Abeille was arrested by the Secret Police for...

Man who works at institution he’s opposed to because he’s paid to says he...

Nigel Farage, who said a month ago that he wouldn't pledge support for Trump, has appeared at a Trump rally to pledge support for Trump. The banker, who is friends with Murdoch and many of...

12th Doctor Who to Run for French Presidency 

Peter Capaldi AKA The Doctor has expressed an interest in becoming the French President at the next election. The current Timelord who is also famous for playing the sweary Malcolm Tucker in the hit...

All your medals belong to us – Says China

As the country basks in the glory of Team GB's second place in the Olympic medal table, China released a press statement saying, "The People's Republic of China wishes to congratulate the British team for...

Over-exaggerating totally different to lying your arse off

Swimmer and US gold medal winning bullshitter, Ryan Lochte, has sort of apologised for making things up. The lying git said that his description of being a drunken arsehole, pissing in public, smashing doors...

Outrage in Rochdale as taxi drivers no longer legally required to speak English

Rochdale residents will have to scrub up their language skills because as of Friday taxi drivers in the city are no longer legally required to speak English. Changes in legislation were introduced on Friday which...

Trump apology shocks nation   

In a move that has shocked the world the shredded wheat headed presidential candidate Donald Trump has actually apologised for something. His apology was aimed in the direction of some of the personal attacks he...

Picture yourself in their shoes

A picture of Omran Daqneesh, the five year old boy who was pulled from the rubble that used to be his home in Aleppo, Syria yesterday, has hit the news media by storm and...

eBay To Close Sundays 

The world's biggest online auction site has today announced plans to close every Sunday to give all their low paid workers a much needed day off. Currently trading 365 days a year, 7 days...

God outs Gay Gay-Hate preacher with biblical punitive flood

Pastor Tony Perkins, President of the Family Research Council and a particularly lamentable human being, has been hoist by his own petard and "outed" by God as a spectacular Gay. The LGBT-hate preacher, who has...

Trump Spokesman Revealed As Black Knight

The Herald can exclusively reveal today that the Trump campaign aide, Michael Cohen, is the mysterious Black Knight.   The secretive warrior and guard to stuff that King Arthur needs to get past revealed himself last...

Britain To Close Controversial Island Refugee Centre

Britain's oldest island refugee centre, Australia, is to be closed following reports of inhumane conditions and bonkers management. The centre, set up in 1770, has seen controversy after controversy during its operation but will now...

Shortcake is nuttier than fruitcake – Parliamentary Inquiry finds

In another extraordinary turn of events in Australian, "She'll be right mate" politics, opposition leader, William Shortcake has been ridiculed in a Parliamentary Inquiry with an ironic twist.  Mr Shortcake demanded a Parliamentary Inquiry in...

The Australian Federal Opposition has called for a Royal Commission into Royal Commissions

In an extraordinary turn of events in Australia Opposition Immigration Minister Aidan Androyd has declared the "necessity for this Royal Commission." "Well, I tried to implement a Royal Commission into the treatment of asylum seekers...

IOC Vote Against New American Sport in 2020 Olympics

The USA's hopes to add another pointlessly American sport to the 2020 Olympic have been dashed by the IOC due to concerns over the scoring system. The USAOC had lobbied to have Police-State Violence -...

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