Rio 2016 Olympics

After a 112 year wait to prove how good we are at walking slowly around a park Britain's Justin Rose yesterday casually sealed gold for team GB. Normally only Britain only excels at events that...

There has been a furious reaction today at the exclusion of the ancient sport of "arrows" in the Rio Olympics today. The worshipful brethren of Morris dancers and arrow throwers today issued a statement...

Thousands of Daily Mail readers are dead today after their heads exploded whilst reading the rag's coverage of the Olympics. Mild confusion over the juxtaposition between the length of Helen Skelton's skirt and the Egyptian...

Charlotte Dujardin became the second woman to win three Olympic gold medals today when she came first in the "Horse Dancing" contest this afternoon. A "close personal friend" of cyclist Laura Trott, who became...

Russia are set to announce plans to introduce the worlds first "performance enhanced" Olympics, we can reveal. As many around the world will know, Russia have been under immense scrutiny by the International Olympic Committee...

Daily Mail readers have insisted that Dressage individual gold medalist Charlotte Dujardin is renamed Charlie Gardner as her name has been deemed "too French" for a post Brexit team GB. Echoing the move which has...

In a move heralded as a new, cleaner era for the International Olympics Committee Lord Sauron announced announced his candidacy for the presidency of  the movement during the opening ceremony of the Rio 2016...

In a bizarre twist that no one seems to understand, two unknown divers who were neither Tom Daley nor his synchronised diving partner have won gold for GB in the 3m spring board event...

A canoeist fulfilled a lifetime's ambition last night after winning Olympic Gold for Britain in Rio. The Rochdale Herald would like to congratulate the canoeist who won a medal alongside fellow Olympian Tom Daley, who...

Merkin-topped braggart and presidential candidate Donald Trump is demanding that extreme vetting become an accepted Olympic sport. Although media have interpreted his remarks on extreme vetting as a call for immigration control on brown people,...

Great British track cycling heroes Laura Trott and Jason Kenny, who between them own ten Olympic Gold medals, are to take part in the UK's first ever Olympics breeding programme designed to spawn the...