Rio 2016 Olympics

Merkin-topped braggart and presidential candidate Donald Trump is demanding that extreme vetting become an accepted Olympic sport. Although media have interpreted his remarks on extreme vetting as a call for immigration control on brown people,...

BBC sports anchor and part time Eddie Izzard lookalike Claire Balding is quite literally on the edge of making TV history by being the first sports presenter to reach sexual climax live on air. Week...

There has been a furious reaction today at the exclusion of the ancient sport of "arrows" in the Rio Olympics today. The worshipful brethren of Morris dancers and arrow throwers today issued a statement...

Russia are set to announce plans to introduce the worlds first "performance enhanced" Olympics, we can reveal. As many around the world will know, Russia have been under immense scrutiny by the International Olympic Committee...

Great British track cycling heroes Laura Trott and Jason Kenny, who between them own ten Olympic Gold medals, are to take part in the UK's first ever Olympics breeding programme designed to spawn the...

A canoeist fulfilled a lifetime's ambition last night after winning Olympic Gold for Britain in Rio. The Rochdale Herald would like to congratulate the canoeist who won a medal alongside fellow Olympian Tom Daley, who...

Daily Mail readers have insisted that Dressage individual gold medalist Charlotte Dujardin is renamed Charlie Gardner as her name has been deemed "too French" for a post Brexit team GB. Echoing the move which has...

As the country basks in the glory of Team GB's second place in the Olympic medal table, China released a press statement saying, "The People's Republic of China wishes to congratulate the British team for...

After a 112 year wait to prove how good we are at walking slowly around a park Britain's Justin Rose yesterday casually sealed gold for team GB. Normally only Britain only excels at events that...

On the eve of the Olympic 10,000 Metres Mo Farah has dramatically retired from running. Maurice Farah, 58 and owner of Streamline Taxis on the Oldham Road in Rochdale, has announced that he will not...

In a bizarre twist that no one seems to understand, two unknown divers who were neither Tom Daley nor his synchronised diving partner have won gold for GB in the 3m spring board event...