Daily Mail editor on suicide watch as rumours of Mo Farah knighthood circulate

There are genuine fears for the editor of The Daily Mail after a Somali born Muslim Immigrant ran to a double double victory at...

Tom Daley admits pissing in pool

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Great British diving legend Tom Daley, who recently claimed Bronze in the synchronized diving with his partner (Dan something or other), has sensationally confessed...

Daily Mail readers push uphill for Gardner

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Daily Mail readers have insisted that Dressage individual gold medalist Charlotte Dujardin is renamed Charlie Gardner as her name has been deemed "too French"...

All your medals belong to us – Says China

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As the country basks in the glory of Team GB's second place in the Olympic medal table, China released a press statement saying, "The People's...

Team GB get the Trotts

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Charlotte Dujardin became the second woman to win three Olympic gold medals today when she came first in the "Horse Dancing" contest this afternoon....

Lord Sauron announces IOC leadership bid

In a move heralded as a new, cleaner era for the International Olympics Committee Lord Sauron announced announced his candidacy for the presidency of...
Darts

Rochdale shock at non-inclusion of ancient sport of darts in Olympics

There has been a furious reaction today at the exclusion of the ancient sport of "arrows" in the Rio Olympics today. The worshipful brethren...

Thousands dead in Daily Mail Olympics tragedy

Thousands of Daily Mail readers are dead today after their heads exploded whilst reading the rag's coverage of the Olympics. Mild confusion over the juxtaposition...
Trump furious to learn Farage isn't 'King of England'

Trump Demands IOC Accept Extreme Vetting Into Next Olympics

Merkin-topped braggart and presidential candidate Donald Trump is demanding that extreme vetting become an accepted Olympic sport. Although media have interpreted his remarks on extreme...

Trott and Kenny in controversial Team GB breeding program

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Great British track cycling heroes Laura Trott and Jason Kenny, who between them own ten Olympic Gold medals, are to take part in the...

Diver and Synchronised Partner win Olympic Gold

In a bizarre twist that no one seems to understand, two unknown divers who were neither Tom Daley nor his synchronised diving partner have...

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