Balding just 2 Gold medals away from on air orgasm

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BBC sports anchor and part time Eddie Izzard lookalike Claire Balding is quite literally on the edge of making TV history by being the...

Tom Daley admits pissing in pool

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Great British diving legend Tom Daley, who recently claimed Bronze in the synchronized diving with his partner (Dan something or other), has sensationally confessed...

Daily Mail editor on suicide watch as rumours of Mo Farah knighthood circulate

There are genuine fears for the editor of The Daily Mail after a Somali born Muslim Immigrant ran to a double double victory at...

Diver and Synchronised Partner win Olympic Gold

In a bizarre twist that no one seems to understand, two unknown divers who were neither Tom Daley nor his synchronised diving partner have...
Trump furious to learn Farage isn't 'King of England'

Trump Demands IOC Accept Extreme Vetting Into Next Olympics

Merkin-topped braggart and presidential candidate Donald Trump is demanding that extreme vetting become an accepted Olympic sport. Although media have interpreted his remarks on extreme...

Rose Gold for afternoon strolls

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After a 112 year wait to prove how good we are at walking slowly around a park Britain's Justin Rose yesterday casually sealed gold...

NEWS FLASH – Mo Farah out of 10,000 Metres

On the eve of the Olympic 10,000 Metres Mo Farah has dramatically retired from running. Maurice Farah, 58 and owner of Streamline Taxis on the...

Olympic movement rocked by revelation that Russia has an anti-doping lab

News is breaking today that Russia, much to the surprise of the international sporting community actually has an anti-doping laboratory.  Whistle-blower Grigory Radchenkov, the former...

Daily Mail readers push uphill for Gardner

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Daily Mail readers have insisted that Dressage individual gold medalist Charlotte Dujardin is renamed Charlie Gardner as her name has been deemed "too French"...

Russia announce plans for “performance enhanced” Olympics

Russia are set to announce plans to introduce the worlds first "performance enhanced" Olympics, we can reveal. As many around the world will know, Russia...

Thousands dead in Daily Mail Olympics tragedy

Thousands of Daily Mail readers are dead today after their heads exploded whilst reading the rag's coverage of the Olympics. Mild confusion over the juxtaposition...

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