Thousands dead in Daily Mail Olympics tragedy
Thousands of Daily Mail readers are dead today after their heads exploded whilst reading the rag's coverage of the Olympics.
Mild confusion over the juxtaposition...
NEWS FLASH – Mo Farah out of 10,000 Metres
On the eve of the Olympic 10,000 Metres Mo Farah has dramatically retired from running.
Maurice Farah, 58 and owner of Streamline Taxis on the...
Rochdale shock at non-inclusion of ancient sport of darts in Olympics
There has been a furious reaction today at the exclusion of the ancient sport of "arrows" in the Rio Olympics today. The worshipful brethren...
All your medals belong to us – Says China
As the country basks in the glory of Team GB's second place in the Olympic medal table, China released a press statement saying,
"The People's...
Balding just 2 Gold medals away from on air orgasm
BBC sports anchor and part time Eddie Izzard lookalike Claire Balding is quite literally on the edge of making TV history by being the...
Trott and Kenny in controversial Team GB breeding program
Great British track cycling heroes Laura Trott and Jason Kenny, who between them own ten Olympic Gold medals, are to take part in the...
Tom Daley admits pissing in pool
Great British diving legend Tom Daley, who recently claimed Bronze in the synchronized diving with his partner (Dan something or other), has sensationally confessed...
Trump Demands IOC Accept Extreme Vetting Into Next Olympics
Merkin-topped braggart and presidential candidate Donald Trump is demanding that extreme vetting become an accepted Olympic sport.
Although media have interpreted his remarks on extreme...
Olympic movement rocked by revelation that Russia has an anti-doping lab
News is breaking today that Russia, much to the surprise of the international sporting community actually has an anti-doping laboratory.
Whistle-blower Grigory Radchenkov, the former...
Russia announce plans for “performance enhanced” Olympics
Russia are set to announce plans to introduce the worlds first "performance enhanced" Olympics, we can reveal.
As many around the world will know, Russia...
Team GB get the Trotts
Charlotte Dujardin became the second woman to win three Olympic gold medals today when she came first in the "Horse Dancing" contest this afternoon....
