A blue passport is an integral part of being British, says bloke who’s never...
The great victory that is Brexit has delivered old-style blue passport covers to the grateful people. Rejoicing Brits across the country have been applying...
Theresa May to rebrand Conservatives as People’s Front of Judea to present united front...
Many alternative names were considered. The United Front of Judean People. This was taken unfortunately by a group lead by David Davis and Sajid Javid. Splitters!
Woman always repeating “no meal is better than a bad meal” now dining alone
A woman who keeps saying “no meal is better than a bad meal” to the people she’s supposed to have dinner with dined alone...
Brexit means Brexit, obviously, says Jeremy Corbyn
'Brexit means Brexit and we're going to make a success of it', Jeremy Corbyn will say this afternoon.
He will speak from the top of...
Full blown Brexit testing on monkeys halted after everything in lab just f*cking died
David Davis, lead researcher in the government's secretive Brexit Lab, has announced that Brexit testing on monkeys has been halted after everything in the...
Young people should not be ignored says old man ignoring young people
Jeremy Corbyn sought to reconnect with young people today over Brexit by sacking the last of the Remainers in the Shadow Cabinet for suggesting...
Moody’s downgrade UK credit rating to junk status after realising who’s in charge
It was announced this morning by a genuinely startled press that international rating agency Moody’s has downgraded the UK credit status to junk after...
Soon to be estranged husband proposes ‘transitional sexual union’
Under the suggested terms of the deal, Britton, 34, would remain in the family home for up to a further two years, and would be entitled to avail himself of all the sexual benefits associated with a normal marriage.
Man who claims he will talk to anyone to solve problems refuses to talk...
A man who often says that you should meet your opponents and discuss problems and issues with them to find a solution has refused...
Foreign words banned from entering English language March 2019
Foreign words already resident in the native tongue, like Welsh ones, will be allowed to remain after England (and the others) exit the EU.
Saint George will be denied entry visa under proposed post Brexit immigration rules
Brexiters across the land were furious today with the news that proposed changes to immigration rules after Brexit make it highly likely Saint George...
Ringmaster May’s Brexit circus will tour till 2021 unless David Davis gets eaten
It was announced last Friday that Ringmaster may’s Brexit circus will attempt to extend its world record breaking tour of Europe until 2021 unless...
Prominent woman to feature on new £2 banknote nicknamed ‘Lost and found’ worth one...
The Bank of England announced this morning that Prime Minister Theresa May will feature on a new two pound banknote timed for release in...
British shipping businesses not optimistic enough about massive iceberg heading for Atlantic say Brexit...
The Brexit lobby has claimed the trillion tonne iceberg heading for the Atlantic from Antarctica is a challenge to British shipping interests to put...
David Davis reveals he’s accidentally been attending PTA meetings in Brussels and has no...
There were refreshing bursts of honesty in the ritual Brexit update today when David Davis revealed he’s only just worked out he’s been attending...
Boris Johnson says he was baked when he made cake and eat it brexit...
Foreign to the truth Secretary Boris Johnson has attempted to evade responsibility for the calamity that Brexit has become by allegedly claiming he was...
