Other News

In a rare public outburst Jesus H Christ has taken to social media to call Jacob Rees-Mogg a "complete twat." Speaking from his spaceship's jacuzzi moored off the coast of Cloud Cuckoo Land Jesus H...

Jacob Rees-mogg was urged today to fund a new charity to back up his assertion that life begins at conception, and no matter how horrific the circumstances of conception, the woman should suffer because...

During an appearance on The One Show this week, Conservative leadership favourite and plum-voiced time traveller, Jacob Rees-Mogg admitted his firm 1920s beliefs meant he was entirely against jazz music and women wearing trousers. These...

In proposals aimed to meet the agricultural sector’s labour needs post Brexit universities will be allowed to charge up to £4K a year for courses in fruit picking. The exciting change to higher education is...

It has been confirmed that Jeremy Corbyn will be producing the next Stormzy album. The album will be produced in a reclaimed timber shed on Corbyn’s allotment patch. It is also expected to be made...

Ryanair have today announced that they will start charging depressed passengers for bringing emotional baggage with them onto their flights. The budget airline has said many customers will no longer be able to bring their...

Underchinned Tory leadership hopeful Jacob Rees-Mogg has upset both women and homosexuals today by saying he is opposed to same-sex marriage and abortion under any circumstances. "I'm catholic, and according to my beliefs abortion is...

The media was all over reports this morning that a strong and stable government policy document on immigration has become wedged between two windows and viewable by all, causing distress to many. It appears the...

Reports this morning out of Downing Street say firefighters were called last night after a woman became stuck between two windows attempting to retrieve a policy document. The woman has not been named, but an...

Hot on the news that she is expecting her third child Channel 4 has announced that the Duchess of Cambridge is to present a special royal edition of Bake Off. "This is a unique opportunity...

Scientists working at Rochdale university announced Monday that they have proved the existence of supermassive black hole at the heart of the Conservative Party. "Imagine a singularity of such intense greed and self interest that...

Piers Morgan will today make a daring attempt to return to doing what he does best. Sitting on his arse while regurgitating tripe about immigrants, tweeting Gary Lineker, and perving on Susannah Reid. Morgan, co-host...

EU chief negotiator Michel Barnier Monday warned that Brussels could take the unusual step of dropping leaflets explaining the dangers of the UK leaving the single market on all UK towns and cities if...

A senior Brexiter has demanded that all of York’s white roses should be repainted as classic red and white Tudor roses for the sake of national unity. The call from the Lancastrian businessman comes as...

Following on from yesterday's shock departure of the venomous snakes, an intrusion of cockroaches have also terminated their contract to appear on this years upcoming ‘I'm a celebrity, get me out of here’ Traditionally the...

Graduates of the world famous British University of Life expressed their outrage this morning after top Eurocrat tyrant Mickie “the barb” Barnier threatened them with further education. “They are going to be stood at the...