Other News

The next update to Apple's iOS devices will feature almost 100 Islamic emojis, dubbed Islamojis, replacing almost all Christian iconography available on the iPhone 7. The move has been slammed by Christian critics of Apple...

Apparently Meat Loaf isn't dead and has a new album coming out, on account of still being alive. The big breasted Fight Club singer apparently didn't die between recording his last album and the one...

Diane James was elected the leader of UKIP yesterday and has already been causing controversy on account of not being Nigel Farage. People outside of UKIP greeted the news with cries of "who?" and "whatever".

Less then 24 hours after fewer than half of UKIP members voted for part time Ronnie Wood lookalike Diane James to be their new leader Herr Farage has once again thrown his hat into...

Barry Inferness, a 34 year old brick layer from Scotland made the discovery at a house party in Smallbridge last week; "A just thought, yer know. What if they made spicy Mars bars? It'd be...

An ancient Biblical commandment that has been left out of Bibles and Torah for thousands of years has finally been translated.  Archeolinguist Barry Wordsworth told us: "Thescroll has been resisting translation throughout history because it...

Friday 16th of September was World Ozone Day but residents of a care home in Rochdale have been getting hot under the collar after a case of mistaken identity. "I was a free spirit in...

Several dozen journalists at The Daily Mail are feared dead whilst dozens more are critically injured after laptop computers exploded in their Northcliffe House head office this morning. The tragedy occurred when The Daily Mail's...

Brian Dunphy of Newbold saw an article on LadBible about Donald Trump and had the perfect response. "I wrote something hilarious, it was so funny but there were like 3,756 comments about Harambe and it...

In this week's PMQs Jeremy Corbyn, the corduroy communist leader of what's left of the Labour Party (see what I did there?), asked Theresa May about her unpopular plans to reintroduce the Grammar school...

Stephen Scully from knotty Ash in Liverpool has come forward to make the quite outrageous claim that he was never ever a roadie for the wobbly headed Fab Four. To date since the band broke...

A Balmoral based deer has spoken out after being run down by the heir to the British throne. Dougal Hornhead spoke to the Herald after seeking veterinary care. "Aye, I wiz jist out for a run...

Massive Star Wars fan Derek Ducaccus has admitted that the entire series on the whole is a "bit shit if he was being honest." It's not anything normal folk didn't already know but for...

Donald J. Trump unveiled a pledge on Thursday to create 25 million jobs over the next decade, but experts are arguing whether they strictly qualify as jobs. In remarks that may stir new consternation abroad,...

A Rochdale woman today refused to confirm whether she was alright or not, following a passive aggressive cry for attention on Facebook.  The woman, 32 year old Helen, posted a Facebook status at 8.06am saying...

Google are busy bringing new servers online today as UK journalists research Grime to make it look like they're with it. "We at the Times are down with this Crime sound," said one writer, "and...