Theresa May

Kaiser Chiefs hurriedly rerelease ‘I Predict a Riot’

3
As crowds of surprisingly calm protesters gather at Westminister to demand the resignation of the recently elected droid, Maybot 2.0, The Kaiser Chiefs are...

World leaders tackle climate change with massive party and flights home on private jets

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The world's elite gave their 100% commitment to climate change this Monday by having a colossal piss up then returning to all corners of...
Rees Mogg

Jocob Rees-Mogg insists women have absolute rights over bodies, except if they receive gift...

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The fall-out from the Weinstein allegations of rape, sexual abuse and unwanted sexual advances continues to widen and include those in political life. Whilst the...
Postman

Postmen refuse to empty post boxes as ‘there could be anything in there’

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Postmen across the country are refusing to open and empty letter boxes after being led to believe they could contain anything including bank robbers...
Michael Fallon on bus

Michael Fallon quits Cabinet to pursue dream of ‘not having to work here any...

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The Secretary of State for Defence has left colleagues at the Cabinet stunned when he sent a memo slating all of them at once. In...

Failed withdrawal expected to lead to painful Labour

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Using the withdrawal method requires a high level of self-control.  Even then, the withdrawal method isn't especially effective. On the face of it (which is...

Corbyn reveals election strategy, if I ignore it it’ll get better

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As Theresa May surprised the country by announcing a snap election supposed Leader of the Opposition Jeremy Corbyn was nowhere to be found. Only hours later ...
Shrugging Man

No manifesto better than a bad manifesto say Conservatives

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Confusion reigns following the Queen's Speech as the Tories deny all knowledge of a manifesto that may, or may not, have existed prior to...

Supreme Court rules Theresa May is not allowed to break the law

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In a completely pointless landmark ruling costing millions the Supreme Court has had its final say. Brexit means Brexit, which means both the Houses Parliament...
Hippies Hippy

Cornwall in Crisis as more middle class hippies leaving than arriving since Brexit

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Cornwall is in crisis as studies show, for the first time in a generation, more middle-class old hippies are leaving than arriving. One local, Anni...

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s statistics

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UK Statistics Authority have reaffirmed the old adage today that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson's use of...

Interest Rates Dropped From Naff All to Sweet FA

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Bank of England catastrophe juggler, Mark Carney, made no change to interest rates this lunchtime. Rochdale savers wondering exactly what this means have had things...

Gove Demands Westminster Soft Play Area

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Michael Gove MP caused elation inside Kate Hoey MP today with his demand for a soft play area at the Palace of Westminster. Gove, the...

Britons to get easy sex after Brexit as the entire world lines up to...

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Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for...
David Davis U-turn

David Davis fails to negotiate corner on way to Brexit talks

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Brexit supremo David Davis has suffered a minor road accident when he tried, and failed, to negotiate a corner. Healthcare professionals were on the scene...
Donald Trump

Our concentration camps are safer than our schools, Trump assures Democrats

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Donald Trump has taken to Twitter today to assure Democrats in the United States Congress that the filthy concentration camps into which he's herding...

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