Stop proroguing, tidy your room, and wash that sock, rule UK’s few remaining grown...
After spending several weeks in his room, claiming to be "revising" legislation, the PM has finally been told to put his Johnson down. "Stop...
Tate & Lyle sponsor cabinet meetings
After what critics are calling a feeble effort to tackle childhood obesity the government is now in hot water again as it transpired that...
DUP pushes to rename school classes in ‘Science’ as ‘Magic’
There has been a legion of support for the move though, as it would spark pupil’s interest in the subject of science again.
Donald Trump fails to mention the length of his penis in speech defending western...
Donald Trump left an eager crowd shocked in Poland today when he failed to mention the length of his schlong once during a rousing...
Red Weather Warning as Conservative Politicians spotted with hands in own pockets
With temperatures plummeting across the British Isles, many patriotic politicians are complaining at their lack of opportunities to escape the country.
Conservative Politicians Jeremy Hunt,...
Winning a general election easier than taking benefits from orphans says woman who took...
Like the irritating eager new guy at work, dark Sith Lord and unelected PM, Theresa May, announced a snap general election 15 minutes before...
Ed Millibland’s Tombstone to be Used for Thousands of Homes
The polls that are currently condemning Jeremy Corbyn to fail once predicted success for the socially inept, humanoid shaped play doh figure, Ed Millibland.
It's...
Government advises British Gas Customers to follow their example and burn bridges for fuel...
Most U.K. bridges are built or stone and iron. This will mean a boom to hardware retailers as Britons rush to stop up on pickaxes and wheelbarrows in order to carry their winter fuel allowance home.
EU to force UK to use £ s d following Brexit…
Brussels has warned that Britain will no longer be allowed to use the decimal system following Brexit and will be forced to go back...
Hammond to tour UK comedy circuit with budget routine
After recently testing his new material in Parliament, Chancellor Philip Hammond has decided to take his own brand of political comedy "on the road."
His...
Blair and Branson to form New Virgin Labour
An email leaked to the Independent has revealed that billionaire Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson (MBE OBE BFD) is to bankroll Lord Sir Tony...
Theresa May to prove in Florence it’s not just British people who don’t listen...
The British Prime Minister is today at the EU Summit in Florence to give a landmark speech to a 4,000 seat amphitheatre containing one...
Government votes to go on holiday early after solving all UK’s problems
Members of parliament have overwhelmingly voted to bring their summer break forward as a reward for having solved all of the UK's problems.
The...
I have no idea what’s going on, says Will of the People
The infamous Will of the People has finally been outed by Rochdale Herald researchers. His real name is Will Fallfrit, and he has opened...
Tooth Fairy tax fully costs Tory manifesto
Humbled by her failed election gambit Theresa May today announced a new policy to resolve the social care funding crisis which torpedoed her election...
Millenials believe Stalin killed more people than Blair
A recent survey of little shits proved that they know absolutely nothing about history, even though you can't prize Google from their tiny ungrateful...
