Politics

UKIP's national policy committee has accidentally hanged itself following the launch of its new policy demanding that under aged girls from "risk groups" be given mandatory genital checks for female genital mutilation. "One minute they...

Housing and Homeless Ministers announced a package of measures worth £100m to eradicate homelessness today. As part of the measures 4,751 park and town benches will be removed to be replaced by pop up kitchens,...

Leave the EU scientists found themselves stumped this afternoon when faced with a spoon. They had previously been asked to identify a knife and a fork, to work out what to do with them, but...

People who are quite happy to have their kids going to schools where the armed forces recruit, monarchy is glorified and the status quo of modern free market capitalism is drummed into their...

It has been revealed this week that toy manufacturing giants Lego will not produce a figure of president elect Donald Trump. Many have regarded this as a move to demonstrate opposition towards the hate-filled, racist,...

Wanky-named cod impersonator and Labour MP Thangar Debonairre (ironically in charge of modern culture!) was recently told to "Get in the sea," by a student of Bristol University. The Labour MP then reported this as...

Theresa May has now got involved in the political hot potato that is The North / South divide. For many in the current government, the only good thing coming from up North is the HS2...

Professor Cliff Edge has been quick out of the blocks today to reassure the public that the pound hitting an eight year low against the Euro is nothing to do with Brexit. “We haven't even...

Philip Hammond was today facing another storm over his casual sexism as it was revealed that his response to the Prime Minister's concerns over Brexit was 'Don't worry your pretty little head about it,...

Pro-Brexit MP's have been rushing to congratulate Parliament on it's demonstration of democracy and parliamentary sovereignty today. A Government bill for Brexit was narrowly defeated following MP's debating it and voting on it over several...

Princess Diana's body is to be exhumed and hung on a gibbet outside Buckingham Palace to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the last witch-hunt in Britain. The key text for the DUP's policy is Daemonologie,...

A stink has been kicking up this week after the British Homeopathic Association were forced to distance themselves from the Liberal Democrats after a northern fake newspaper editor claimed The Lib Dems were less effective than homeopathy.

Home Sec Diane Abbott has been off sick since cancelling her appearance on Woman's Hour yesterday but has she been sacked? Jeremy Corbyn was giving nothing away when he told BBC Breakfast that she had...

Labour has confirmed a new manifesto pledge today following the announcement by Theresa May to allow a free vote on reversing the 2004 fox hunting ban. "If elected we will release Liam Fox on Dartmoor,...

Serial metaphorical and actual seat avoider, and leader of a thousand students ineligible to vote, Jeremy Corbyn, has announced that nothing will stop him ruining the Labour party. In a vibrant PMQ's before the dissolution of Parliament,...

Dr Liam Fox is in America this week offering the United Kingdom up as America’s toilet, after Brexit, and sees no risk of a blockage. “Whenever you need to dump a load of hamburger we’ll...