Amber Rudd announces plan to ban envelopes
Home Secretary Amber Rudd has announced that envelopes will be banned from the end of the month.
The Home Office has also announced that all...
Stubborn turd refuses to flush
A massive turd that is blocking the downstairs bog next to the Cabinet Meeting Room in Downing Street has been studiously ignoring hints that...
John McDonnell caught on film pushing Diane Abbott under bus while out jogging
John McDonell has been embroiled in a bizarre cover up involving himself and Diane Abbot
Emails found on MP’s pornhub viewer
A forensic investigation of Damian Green's computer has revealed that it was used for viewing emails, conducting research and processing documents, confirming that...
David Davis-Brexit Speech in full
In a monumentous speech to the House of Commons yesterday, the Brexit Minister David Davis set out the government's plans for taking Britain out...
UK insists EU to have custody of Farage at weekends in Brexit divorce settlement
As part of the Brexit divorce settlement the EU has agreed to have Nigel Farage at weekends.
In exchange for the financial settlement, believed...
Confederates, KKK and slave owners outraged by Appointment of Jeff Sessions to Attorney General
Confederates, slave owners and prominent members of the Ku Klux Klan have taken to Facebook to condemn Trump's nomination of Jeff Sessions to the office of Attorney General.
Farage in critical condition after massive overdose
Nigel Farage is in a critical condition this morning after taking a colossal irony overdose.
Is there something Stephen Crabb isn’t telling us?
In a dramatically uncharacteristic move Stephen Crabb, the former intern at anti-equality fundamentalist Christian group CARE and employer of interns from the anti-equality fundamentalist...
Labour MPs win right for toilet break during final vote on Brexit deal
After a tense round of debating in the house of commons Labour MPs succeeded in forcing through an amendment to the Brexit bill which...
Boris Johnson bitten by radioactive spider, spider now a complete c*nt
A radioactive spider was rushed to the vets today after biting Boris Johnson and subsequently becoming a massive arsehole.
Apparently after biting Mr Johnson the...
The Middle East starts packing as Blair hints at return to politics
The Oxford English definition of irony, former Middle East Peace Envoy, Tony Blair, suggested a political return may be on the cards in a...
Jacob Rees-Mogg late for PMQ’s because he couldn’t find anywhere to park his horse.
Jacob Rees-Mogg apologised to the Prime Minster today, after arriving late for the PMQ’s at Westminster.
Running over 25 minutes late; Rees-Mogg blamed the lack...
Jeremy Corbyn insists he’ll remain Labour leader even after death
Serial metaphorical and actual seat avoider, and leader of a thousand students ineligible to vote, Jeremy Corbyn, has announced that nothing will stop him ruining the...
Relief as Theresa May and Arlene Foster finish scissoring out a deal
“It was no time for hammering,” confirmed the Prime Minister, “we had quite enough of a hammering in the election, which we still, I...
Tory sparks by-election because… er…reasons.
Former non-dom tax shy billionaire's son and general Tory role model Zac Goldsmith has resigned from his position as a Tory MP after the...
