Boy Scouts of America deny meeting Donald Trump
The Boy Scouts of America have issued a statement denying meeting Donald Trump.
“It never happened. It's fake news folks.” The statement begins.
“Only a sick,...
Prince Charles admits years of talking to vegetables perfect preparation for Trump visit
Prince Charles has confirmed that years of talking to vegetables at Highgrove are the perfect preparation for meeting Donald Trump today.
There's been a...
Nah, I said smashed through a field of weed fam, claims PM
There’s bare girl jobs and mandem jobs, you feel me?
“When’d all y’all start getting so disrespectful?” said Theresa May yesterday.
“Maybe it was that Lord...
Labour NEC can take your money and run – rules court of appeal
The NEC of the Labour Party has won on appeal its right to lie its arse off in order to get three quid out...
Government reassures voters post-Brexit ration books will also be blue
The government has taken bold steps today to reassure the public after a leaked Whitechapel report detailed how the UK is likely to face...
Nigel Farage launches the Nigel Farage Party
Speaking in Chesterton Park, near Stoke yesterday, Nigel Farage announced that he has “reluctantly” returned to front-line politics by launching the Nigel Farage Party.
“I...
Hospital waiting times longest ever as people queue to abuse Boris Johnson
"Waiting times for the NHS in England are the longest ever and it's because people are waiting so they can abuse Boris Johnson."
Rochdale resident...
Liberal Democrats now so wet they’re considered homeopathic
A stink has been kicking up this week after the British Homeopathic Association were forced to distance themselves from the Liberal Democrats after a northern fake newspaper editor claimed The Lib Dems were less effective than homeopathy.
Jeremy Corbyn Guarantees Tory Win By Not Jerking Knee
The chance of Conservative Party rule evaporated today. Jeremy Corbyn is to talk about the nuances of foreign policy and its consequences.
"It's an outrage!" stated...
That’s it I’m done in this realm – Satan
His most eminent dark overlord, Satan, has asked The Rochdale Herald to issue the following statement:
"I had 2 bottles of Jackie Dee and wrote...
May sets UK up for long March to Brexit
Theresa May’s Conservative government have quite literally meddled with time in their pursuit of successfully completing Brexit according to their timetable.
The Conservative party used their parliamentary...
Google crashes as 17.4m people Google Parliamentary Democracy
Internet search engine Google has been brought to a standstill as a reported 17.4m people searched for the phrase "Parliamentary Democracy" this morning.
The Daily...
Corbyn hospitalised after collapse
Man of the people Jeremy Corbyn was today airlifted by helicopter to A&E after a suspected smugness overdose .
The incident occurred just moments after...
Remain campaigners thwarted by import shortage of “I Told You So”s
Anti-Brexit campaigners are suffering from a shortage of "I Told You So"s, as "Project Fear" rapidly swings into "Operation I Told You So", as...
Noel Edmunds to head up Brexit negotiations armed with 28 red boxes
Failed entertainer and minister for Brexit, David Davis, will take centre stage in a Deal or No Deal special to be aired on Dave...
It’s bloody difficult being a bloody difficult woman, says bloody difficult woman.
On Thursday night, Theresa May was stood up by her strong mandate and had to make her lonely way home alone. "Being Prime Minister...
