Senior Tories Pledge To Eat Less

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In response to UNICEF’S report today forecasting child starvation in 2017, senior Tories have pledged to eat less. Peasant. Goose. Equine tartare and literally millions...

Jeremy C*nt to sue BBC for repeatedly getting his name wrong

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MP Jeremy C*nt has accused the BBC of deliberately getting his name wrong during broadcasts, in order to publicly belittle him. The angry parliamentary member...
Shrugging Man

Who needs firemen anyway asks DUP clad Tory government

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There was anger in parliament last night as the government narrowly defeated a motion by the Labour Party to end the cap on public...
Nice Nurse Senior Patient

Medical advances mean some students might survive long enough to pay back debts PM...

5
The woman pretending to be British Prime Minister is expected to increase her appeal to the younger demographics today. She will do it by...

Paul Nuttall denies lying about surviving the sinking of the Titanic

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UKIP leader and MEP Paul Nuttall Sunday issued a stern denial that he had lied about surviving the sinking of the Titanic on April...
Miliband

Ed Miliband Suspended by Labour in Anti-Semitic Bacon Sandwich Shocker

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Former Labour Leader Ed Miliband has been suspended from the Party after being accused of anti-Semitic breakfast habits. A spokesman for the Labour Party...

Trump Outraged To Learn of Invention of Phonograph

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Taking to Twitter, So Called President Trump rounded on critics of his administration within the media, and their underhand strategy of recording stuff. "Edison fake American....

TM + DUP 4EVA carved into Magic Money tree by PM

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Theresa May spent the afternoon hand in hand with Arlene Foster and the rest of the Democratic Unionist Party skipping through Hyde park stopping...

Boris Johnson shocked to discover British Empire no longer exists

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Foreign Office officials have confirmed that Boris Johnson has finally accepted that the British Empire no longer exists, more than a year after he...

New UKIP leader already third longest serving leader after both Nigel Farages

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Mr Henry Bolt-on was celebrating tonight after having managed the milestone event of third longest serving UKIP leader, even though he was only elected...
Pensioners

UKIP unveil radical plans to appeal to voters who are still alive

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New UKIP leader, Henry Bolton has caused a stir at the party conference in Torquay by suggesting it should do more to appeal to...

Jeremy Corbyn found alive and well and working in B&Q

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Jeremy Corbyn has been found alive and well and working in a branch of B&Q. The DIY store is well known for its positive...
Jeremy Corbyn 1980's

Conservative MP apologises for tweet alleging Corbyn was a politician in the 1980’s

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The Conservative MP Ben Bradley has conceded that Jeremy Corbyn did no work as a Politician in the 1980’s and has agreed not to make the allegations again.

Disastrous mistake warns stopping Brexit would be disastrous mistake

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A disastrous mistake will warn derailing Brexit will be a disastrous mistake in a speech about a falling over in public later today. In a...
Theresa May

Lessons not learned for out of touch May as she fails to show up...

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Critics have jumped on to Theresa May claiming that she is out of touch and still has not learned the lessons of the recent...
Putin Trump

Trump and Putin secret G20 meeting beyond ‘Netflix and Chill’

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Reports ejaculating out of Hamburg indicate that the secret meeting between President Trump and Vladimir Putin transcended sharing a duvet and gorging on Hagen-Daaz. The...

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