Theresa May sets new record for least informative interview
Theresa May, the first unelected Prime Minister to have deliberately had her hair cut into the shape of a bell end has given an...
Poppy Squad to begin patrolling UK streets from next week
Poppy Enforcement Directive Officers (PEDO's) are to begin patrolling the UK's streets from next week, the Government has announced.
The officers, obese men dressed in...
Ken Livingstone backs down over Nazi Zionism claims
Ken Livingstone has backed down over his claims that Hitler and the Nazis once supported the cause of Zionism- the aim of establishing and...
Rochdale DFS Sale has finally ended
Rochdale DFS announced the first end of a sale for a decade after running out of sofas yesterday.
DFS customers in Rochdale are expected to...
EU to Trigger “Article 51” & Offer Britain “A Job in Telesales” After Trump...
Donald Tusk, President if the EU Commission, has said that Britain can have "a special relationship" with the EU which includes all telesales, street canvassing and "hygiene services" jobs following Donald Trump's victory.
Jeremy C*nt to sue BBC for repeatedly getting his name wrong
MP Jeremy C*nt has accused the BBC of deliberately getting his name wrong during broadcasts, in order to publicly belittle him.
The angry parliamentary member...
Jeremy Corbyn to cross floor to lead the Conservative Party
Written off as a hopeless loser, terrorist supporter and left-wing extremist at the start of last week's general election campaign, Jeremy Corbyn has risen...
Corbyn Publicly Apologies For Labour Lords
It's been widely reported that the House of Lords struck a severe blow to British democracy last night.
The blow, sponsored by a rogue...
Downing Street denies allegations of incontinence
In an unprecedented announcement, Downing Street issued a denial of any suggestions that the Prime Minister is incontinent.
"During a period of initial uncertainty, many...
Jeremy Corbyn wins coveted Empty Suit award
Jeremy Corbyn has been awarded the prestigious Empty Suit award.
The ceremony took place in London last night and as tradition dictates Mr Corbyn wasn't...
Nobody fancies Simon Danczuk – Rochdale Herald Poll reveals
In a shocking twist in the "Simon Danczuk pulled a 22 year old" scandal The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal that is was all...
I am truly above the law, confirms giant-toothed, flappy-eared, demon-eyed, shithouse, fuckmonger
What’s your favourite type of monger?
Picture him:
Swooping down from the sky astride a yellowing American Eagle, the political shitehawk persuades his steed to loosen...
Ramsay Bolton has been elected as the UK Independence Party’s new leader
The infamously violent former Warden of the North had the six others in competition for the leadership violently murdered at the UKIP autumn conference...
Boris Johnson granted protected geographical status by EU just like a Jersey potato
The EU has announced this morning that it has listed Boris Johnson as a product of the United Kingdom with protected geographical status, just...
G20 Crisis as Trump eats hot dogs in Hamburg.
President Donald Trump caused outrage in Hamburg, Germany today, eating hot dogs and apple pie and drinking root beer all flown in with him...
A blue passport is an integral part of being British, says bloke who’s never...
The great victory that is Brexit has delivered old-style blue passport covers to the grateful people. Rejoicing Brits across the country have been applying...
