Leopard print shoes

Hard Core Fans Dismayed as PJ Harvey Admires Theresa May’s Shoes

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Hardcore fans of uncompromising musician Polly Jean (PJ) Harvey have reacted angrily to their musical idol expressing admiration for Prime Minister Theresa Mary May's...

Farage in critical condition after massive overdose

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Nigel Farage is in a critical condition this morning after taking a colossal irony overdose.

Green Party suffers rectal prolapse over Swansea Tidal Lagoon go ahead

11
News of the go ahead for the green energy scheme at Swansea Tidal Lagoon has set heads spinning in Right On Brighton Pavilions today. "I’ll...
Rees Mogg Farage

Massive bell end demands to hear massive bell end our EU relationship

11
Jacob Rees-moog is leading a rabble of conservative political bell ends drunk on Prosecco demanding to hear a big bell chime on the day...
Theresa May

May is a dead duck pushing a white elephant, says Lord Harris

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Carpet magnate Lord Harris has given May a high-quality luxury carpeting. "May is a dead duck pushing a white elephant" is not quite what...

Boris not offensive, simply misunderstood – insists Boris

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Posh fop-headed press gob and Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson has defended the countless insults and faux pas he has made by claiming that each...
Boris Johnson

What’s the fuss, I loved playing sardines with nanny

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Boris Johnson has met Jeremy Corbyn's attack on the Conservative's record on education today with incredulity.

Rochdale PR firms enters FTSE 250 after winning Simon Danczuk crisis management contract

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There was jubilation in Rochdale this afternoon as Clifford Savile Associates PLC announced their entry into the FTSE 250 for the first time. The news...
unhappy man

Google crashes as 17.4m people Google Parliamentary Democracy

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Internet search engine Google has been brought to a standstill as a reported 17.4m people searched for the phrase "Parliamentary Democracy" this morning. The Daily...
Popularity Contest

It’s not a popularity contest, really unpopular MP tells voters

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An extremely unpopular MP has just informed voters that the upcoming general election is not a popularity contest. The MP addressed the crowd and urged...
Theresa May

Theresa May counters ‘dead in the water’ jibes by her splashing about and crying...

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George Osborne expected to push Theresa May’s political career beneath the waterline when he claimed she was ‘dead in the water’, but May quickly...
Farage

Right wing nutjob calls right wing nutjob a right wing nutjob

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Leading members of the Right Wing Nutjobs Association have been flinging accusations around willy-nilly to the amusement of 'leftie libtards' everywhere. Right wing nutjob...
Scientist

Most Brexiteers cheat at Monopoly study finds

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Researchers at Rochdale College have found evidence that seems to show most Brexiteers cheat during family games of Monopoly. Dr Frederick Seddon told us, "We...

Buying a house is really stressful first time buyer tells bloke in queue for...

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A first time buyer has been explaining how stressful buying a house is to a man he met in a foodbank. Taylor Twyford-Twist was doing...
Justine Greening

Secretary of State for Education, Justine Greening shows concern for pupils “Not talk good”

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In the UK, education has always been of paramount significance, on par with the National Health Service, or ensuring that MPs have enough income...
Trump

Donald Trump fails to mention the length of his penis in speech defending western...

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Donald Trump left an eager crowd shocked in Poland today when he failed to mention the length of his schlong once during a rousing...

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