Trump says IKEA table he ordered arrived ‘pre-blown up’

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President Donald J Trump is convinced that ‘something bigly bad’ has gone down in Sweden, after a dining table he ordered from IKEA arrived...

New American National Anthem Unveiled As ‘Donald Donald Uber Alles’

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The United States is getting a new national anthem, it has been announced. An executive order has been signed replacing the old anthem, The...

Some bloke in UKIP said something about the BBC

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Bill Etheridge, a candidate for hard right conservative comedy troupe UKIP has said that the BBC should be privatised because it's "shoving left wing...
Corbyn Elbow Patches

Jeremy Corbyn wins coveted Empty Suit award

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Jeremy Corbyn has been awarded the prestigious Empty Suit award. The ceremony took place in London last night and as tradition dictates Mr Corbyn wasn't...

Theresa May to open new Ministry of Silly Bans

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Prime Minister Theresa May has announced a new Ministry of Silly Bans, to be set up immediately. The job of the new department will be to...
Bergxit

Antarctical 50 signed, Bergxit means Bergxit

4
Today an area four times the size of London has broken away from the Antarctic landmass. It is a worrying example of rising sea...

John McDonnell caught on film pushing Diane Abbott under bus while out jogging

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John McDonell has been embroiled in a bizarre cover up involving himself and Diane Abbot

Director of CIA asks Jason Bourne to drop in on Trump for a ‘quiet...

11
The Director of The CIA, John O'Brennan, asked Jason Bourne to pop over to Trump Tower. Following allegations Donald Trump made about the US intelligence...

Immortan Joe assures War Boys Post-Apocalyptic Desert Dystopia less chaotic than Brexit

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Gas Town will not be "plunged into a Brexit style world borrowed from dystopian fiction" after the nuclear winter, Immortan Joe has said today.
Houses of Parliament

Sovereignty of Parliament is a bit over-rated, say Brexiters

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Pro-Brexit MP's have been rushing to congratulate Parliament on it's demonstration of democracy and parliamentary sovereignty today. A Government bill for Brexit was narrowly defeated...

Boris not offensive, simply misunderstood – insists Boris

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Posh fop-headed press gob and Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson has defended the countless insults and faux pas he has made by claiming that each...

Corbyn hospitalised after collapse

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Man of the people Jeremy Corbyn was today airlifted by helicopter to A&E after a suspected smugness overdose .  The incident occurred just moments after...
Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn demands General Election so voters can choose between Brexit or Brexit

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Jeremy Corbyn has demanded that the Government call a General Election in order that the public can choose between his insane version of Brexit...

David White follows The Rochdale Herald on Twitter

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The editorial team were said to be jubilant at the news this evening that former England, Leeds and Manchester City centre forward David White...

Woman always repeating “no meal is better than a bad meal” now dining alone

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A woman who keeps saying “no meal is better than a bad meal” to the people she’s supposed to have dinner with dined alone...
Theresa May

Whitehaven and Cumbria to Leave UK Launch of Cumbria Independence Party CUMFUK

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Emboldened by her landslide victory in the Copeland By-Election, new MP Trudy Harrison has announced that she is leaving the Conservative Party to campaign...

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