Theresa May Converse

Top Tories Converse to win yoof vote

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Prime Minister Theresa May today ditched her kitten heels and turned out to the Commons wearing a pair of Chuck Taylor black and white...
Theresa May

Theresa May breaks fingernail as her grip on power weakens

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Government manicurists today rushed to Theresa May's aid following a nail injury, frantically claiming it was merely "chipped varnish". As finger after taloned finger...

UK wakes up in shower and realises it was all a dream

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Season 6 of the failing blockbuster drama Brexiting Bad has plumbed new depths of plotting. Following episodes where lead character Boris Johnson got angry and...

French PM Tells Boris “Freedom of Movement or Nothing” then Shuts Calais

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British holidaymakers and Brexit voters on their way to France had the opportunity to learn what the term "French border control" actually means over...

British Fascists upset that UK Government won’t appease Foreign Fascist Dictator

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A wealthy British Fascist today took to criticising the British Government for refusing to appease the United States' first elected authoritarian fascist dictator by appointing renowned fascist Nigel Farage as British Ambassador to the US.
Corbyn

Corbyn sacks last of Shadow Cabinet who didn’t resign last year

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In a shock move Friday Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn sacked all of his shadow ministers who didn't resign last year in protest at his...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn is a bit shit, admits former Momentum leader Robbie Tomlinson

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Former Rochdale Momentum leader, Robbie Tomlinson, whose real name is Stuart Taxley-Gibbon, has admitted today that Jeremy Corbyn, leader of the Labour Party, is...
Lego

Proposed Irish border solution scattered Lego bricks and sign saying ‘please remove shoes’

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Brexit negotiations have hit a "a real problem" over the issue of the Irish border, government sources have confirmed today. Hopes of a breakthrough were...

Yemenis Grateful That Britain Tidying Up Arms Deals

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 Ordinary Yemenis have taken a break from being killed by British and American bombs and weapons to thank the British Government for tightening up...

Branson to be Stripped of Knighthood & Awarded “The Icepick of the People” in...

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John McDonnell has branded British capitalist lapdog Sir Richard Branson an "enemy of the People" who "undermines Democracy & the Will of the People"...
Theresa May

Theresa May Reacts Angrily To Snowden Sith Slur

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Edward Snowden, the famous whistle-blower and internet freedom campaigner, has angered unelected PM Theresa May (or May not but she's not going to give...
Michael Gove

We’re nothing like Michael Gove, insist Weasels

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Weasels are up in arms at being compared to Michael Gove after reading an article in The Telegraph today that speculated that he may have "weaselled" his way into Theresa May's cabinet.
David Davis

Davis to seek pinky promise with Barnier over customs arrangements post Brexit

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David Davis offered reassurance today to business leaders worried about customs arrangements post Brexit by declaring he would seek a pinky promise with Michel...

Great repeal bill to herald the return of Spangles

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The government's planned "Great Repeal Bill" to change 44 years worth of EU legislation into British law is slated to help turn the clock...

Barrymore seeks planning permission for bigger pool after High Court throws out Blair war...

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It is being reported that Michael Barrymore is all set to appeal to the High Court for planning permission for a second swimming pool...

Putin’s money was just resting in my account Trump tells James Comey

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Donald Trump has dismissed as fake news any suggestion that money that has appeared in his account is anything to do with collusion with...

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