Substitute teacher to stand in for Theresa May in hope of improving cabinet discipline

0
Wilma Beard, a graduate teacher on the books of an education supply agency, has been contracted to fill in for Theresa May in the...

Don’t vote for a chaotic Brexit, says cause of chaotic Brexit

0
Loose cannon David Davis describes the scattergun approach to Brexit as "regrettable". The strident anti-EU campaigner wants the UK to cut the European cord,...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson sneezes and accidentally appeals for 32 British people to be stoned to...

0
Boris Johnson has apologised for his "sneeze" during comments about a bus full of British women on holiday in Saudi Arabia. The foreign secretary said...
Kuenssberg

Twitter scientists confirm discovery of human parrot hybrid that only speaks Tory

21
The BBC’s most insightful political journalist has been discovered to be a species of parrot and awarded a delightful new name today by natural...

I said ‘sack my cook & hold my calls’ says MP accused of sexual...

1
Embattled Tory MP Mark Garnier claims he was simply misunderstood by his Secretary over recent sex abuse allegations that have rocked Westminster. Barnier, a...

World leaders tackle climate change with massive party and flights home on private jets

0
The world's elite gave their 100% commitment to climate change this Monday by having a colossal piss up then returning to all corners of...

Trump insists the audience for his resignation speech will be bigger than Sean Spicers

19
Donald Trump has insisted that the audience for Sean Spicers resignation speech will be miniscule compared to his own. Trump tweeted that, "Spicer was a...

Whitewash of establishment nonces in the interests of the children – says dame

0
 Amber Rudd is set to give evidence to a commons committee on the state of the inquiry into child sexual abuse in place of...
iPhone

Losers celebrate election victory

0
The winners of the 2017 election are despondent today as they downheartedly celebrate their victory. “Yay. Fandabby bloody dozey,” said Conservative Unionist National Tory Society...

Farage to become economic migrant.

0
Sources close to the MEP, would be ambassador and professional Admiral Ackbar lookalike Nigel Farage, say he is close to moving the the USA. Apparently...

I’m nothing like Steve Bannon – says Darth Vader

0
Darth Vader took to Twitter today to distance himself from "that evil bastard" Steve Bannon after Bannon compared himself to Darth Vader, Thomas Cromwell, Dick Cheney and Satan.

Police Commissioner Confirms Police To Desist From Arresting People Doing Nothing Wrong

0
South Yorkshire Police Commissioner Adam Spillings went on record today as saying his force would no longer be arresting tree campaigners for doing nothing...
Dominic Raab

Dominic Raab announces lucrative trade deal with Juice Plus+

0
Dominic Raab has announced that he has completed a very lucrative trade deal with Juice Plus+. A spokesman for Mr Raaab told us, "At our...
Trump Baby

Trump eats baby in front of mother during rally

2
Donald Trump hit a new low today by disembowelling a newborn baby and eating her still beating heart like an apple after she interrupted...
fox cubs

Corbyn supports hunting with dogs repeal in Government manifesto

0
Jeremy Corbyn has pledged to support the Conservative Party's promise to repeal the fox hunting ban. This appears to be the result of him mishearing...

Brexit Party candidate apologises for not wearing poppy on his Nazi uniform

0
Brexit Party candidate Graham Cushway has been forced to issue an apology after being spotted without a Remembrance Day poppy on his Luftwaffe uniform. Mr...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts