Britain offers to pay off £50 billion European ‘divorce fee’ with jam
Following the news that Cuba has offered to pay its £222 million Cold War debt to the Czech Republic in Rum, Brexit Secretary, David...
Is Trump as well hung as May’s Parliament?
Hard on the heels of the revelation that President Donald Trump has fake Time Magazine covers hanging on the walls of his golf course...
Badgers vote for cull of Conservative MPs
Radical badgers have declared Dingley Dell an independent sovereign state and have threatened violent action against Conservative MPs in response to the continuing cull.
The...
London in crisis as Brexit threatens to make house prices affordable
One of the many mysteries wrapped up inside the "Brexit means Brexit" enigma has been revealed. To the overwhelming delight of the capital's aspirational...
Trump rushed to John Hopkins with severe burns
Donald Trump is said to be in a stable but critical condition this morning after being rushed to hospital suffering from self inflicted third...
David Cameron admits he’s actually a working-class Liverpudlian
Former Prime Minister David Cameron has admitted that, contrary to popular conception, he’s actually a working-class Liverpudlian.
Cameron made the shock admission during an...
Bolton Distances Itself From Bolton
The town of Bolton has decided to release a strongly worded on letter to the press following the election of Mr Henry Bolton as...
Paul Nuttall celebrates victory with speech outside 10 Downing Street
UKIP supremo Paul Nuttall was in jubilant mood this afternoon after seeing his party win the 2017 election with a landslide victory.
After visiting Her...
David Davis organises piss up in brewery on wrong day
The Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union reportedly organised a smashing piss up in a brewery to celebrate New Year's Eve on...
Record Turnout for Britain First in Rochdale for The Zestra Three
Chaotic scenes in Rochdale today as tens of thousands of Britain First supporters and other moderate right wing organisations including Pegida, the EDL and...
Tories target youth vote by giving food bank users under 30 free Wham Bars
The Conservatives hope to boost the number of young people applying for party membership by offering them a free Wham Bar every time they...
Hammond to read policy documents before saying them out loud in future
Phillip Hammond, for now at least Chancellor of the Exchequer, has announced that in future he will "have a butchers at" major policy documents...
What’s wrong with asking your secretary to buy you a dildo, asks complete dildo
The king of Dildos and soon to be former International Trade Minister Mark Garnier is to investigated over a potential breach of the ministerial code after he admitted to asking a former parliamentary aide to buy him a dildo
May to leave dinner middle of main course and refuse to say what she’ll...
Downing Street has rushed to reassure an anxious British public today that the prime minister will leave her dinner with EU counterparts this evening...
Labour to legalise Liam Fox hunting confirms Jeremy Corbyn
Labour has confirmed a new manifesto pledge today following the announcement by Theresa May to allow a free vote on reversing the 2004 fox...
Donald Trump Jr upset by chants of ‘lock him up’ from Donald Trump Snr
Donald Trump Jr has allegedly complained that President Trump keeps chanting 'lock him up' at him.
Trump Junior made a complaint to a White House...
