Boris Johnson shocked to discover British Empire no longer contains Canada

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Foreign Office officials have confirmed that Boris Johnson has finally accepted that the British Empire no longer contains Canada, more than a year after...
Ballot paper

Labour to campaign for Liberal Democrats in June 8th General Election

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Diane Abbott was resurrected this afternoon to speak to a journalist of sorts, on the BBC. Ms Abbott used one of her last possible...

Gove clarifies that Government will extend the term non-sentient to include any living being...

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In a desperate bid to look like the Tories are not using Brexit as an excuse to bring back fox hunting, cock fighting, prima...

Owen Smith calls for another vote on leadership challenge

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In a statement the bespectacled Bilko impersonator said;  "Just like on the issue of Europe, many people wanted a different outcome. I'd be prepared to...

Every Brit to get UKIP voting Mother In Law before Brexit

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In a move designed to strengthen the government's hand before Brexit negotiations begin in earnest, every British family is to be assigned a UKIP...

Boris not offensive, simply misunderstood – insists Boris

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Posh fop-headed press gob and Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson has defended the countless insults and faux pas he has made by claiming that each...

Disastrous mistake warns stopping Brexit would be disastrous mistake

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A disastrous mistake will warn derailing Brexit will be a disastrous mistake in a speech about a falling over in public later today. In a...

Tory superbug found in pigs

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A variant of the antibiotic-resistant superbug MRSA normally found in old Etonians and Conservative Party politicians has found its way into the nation's...

People Telling Me I Shouldn’t Have Told Schoolgirl To F*ck Off Can F*ck Off...

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The Conservative MP for Wells, James 'Compost' Heappey got all sweary when visiting the massively overpriced Millfield Academy for Young Toffs and Toffettes.  A Scottish...

May red faced after failure to personally deliver EU nationals deportation letters

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The Office of the Prime Minister Theresa May served up a rare slice of humble pie as Ms May apologised for not personally handing...

To be fair I was pissed, says Nigel 2.0 candidate

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Steven Woolfe, the chief xenophobe-in-waiting of totally unracist UKIP party has been caught out forgetting things. Again. After forgetting to apply for the candidacy he's standing...

Self-proclaimed ‘bestest dealmaker’ fails to do deal with Bruce Springsteen cover band

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Idiots across America who voted for Trump because he told them he was really good at doing deals are surprised by the news he hasn't been able to do a deal with a Bruce Springsteen tribute band.
Philip Hammond

Fresh sexism row after Hammond overheard telling Theresa May not to ‘worry her pretty...

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Philip Hammond was today facing another storm over his casual sexism as it was revealed that his response to the Prime Minister's concerns over...
Christmas Morning

Only two prime ministers till Christmas

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Children around the UK were feeling giddy this morning after learning that it's now officially on two prime ministers until Christmas morning. "I can almost...
fox cubs

Corbyn supports hunting with dogs repeal in Government manifesto

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Jeremy Corbyn has pledged to support the Conservative Party's promise to repeal the fox hunting ban. This appears to be the result of him mishearing...
brexit bill

Theresa May admits “Brexit Bill” scrawled on back of napkin

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Prime Minister Theresa May today admitted that the 'Brexit Bill', allowing her to trigger the Article 50 exit clause from the European Union had been drafted,...

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