Government immigration policy document wedged between windows described as strong and stable
The media was all over reports this morning that a strong and stable government policy document on immigration has become wedged between two windows...
Gareth Southgate fields Boris in goal for Brexit bill penalty shoot out against Merkel’s...
This morning's news that the tussle over the Brexit divorce bill will be decided with a winner takes all penalty shoot out between England...
Boris overheard telling King Felipe of Spain ‘NO GIVO BACKO, CAPICHE’ whilst pointing at...
Boris Johnson has unveiled his diplomatic plan to engage with King Felipe and Queen Letizia over Brexit negotiations at a state meal.
Johnson told the...
City of Brighton & Hove to be shortened by 1 metre after Brexit
Residents of Brighton & Hove were shocked to discover plans to shorten their city by 1 metre along it's East/West axis following Brexit.
In 1972,...
You lost get over it, Jacob Rees-Mogg told
Jacob Rees-Mogg has been told to get over losing the no confidence vote in Theresa May last night.
Mr Rees-Mogg heads the European Research Group...
Theresa May to rebrand Conservatives as People’s Front of Judea to present united front...
Many alternative names were considered. The United Front of Judean People. This was taken unfortunately by a group lead by David Davis and Sajid Javid. Splitters!
Brexit means Brexit, obviously, says Jeremy Corbyn
'Brexit means Brexit and we're going to make a success of it', Jeremy Corbyn will say this afternoon.
He will speak from the top of...
Moody’s downgrade UK credit rating to junk status after realising who’s in charge
It was announced this morning by a genuinely startled press that international rating agency Moody’s has downgraded the UK credit status to junk after...
Immortan Joe assures War Boys Post-Apocalyptic Desert Dystopia less chaotic than Brexit
Gas Town will not be "plunged into a Brexit style world borrowed from dystopian fiction" after the nuclear winter, Immortan Joe has said today.
Symbolic figurehead has dinner with elected European leaders
The symbolic figurehead of the United Kingdom, Theresa May, dined last night with the twenty seven elected heads of the European Union.
Ms May was...
Foreign words banned from entering English language March 2019
Foreign words already resident in the native tongue, like Welsh ones, will be allowed to remain after England (and the others) exit the EU.
Boris Johnson granted protected geographical status by EU just like a Jersey potato
The EU has announced this morning that it has listed Boris Johnson as a product of the United Kingdom with protected geographical status, just...
Rochdale entrepreneur fails to set up free trade agreement with Burnley
Rochdale entrepreneur Cliff Edge has been explaining to the Rochdale Herald how he tried to negotiate a free-trade deal with a supermarket in Burnley.
The...
British shipping businesses not optimistic enough about massive iceberg heading for Atlantic say Brexit...
The Brexit lobby has claimed the trillion tonne iceberg heading for the Atlantic from Antarctica is a challenge to British shipping interests to put...
David Davis tells Select Committee the dog ate his Brexit Impact Assessment
David Davis, the Secretary for Probably Exiting the European Union, has confirmed to the House of Lords Select Committee that he has definitely done...
Universities to charge £4K a year for fruit picking courses to prepare students for...
In proposals aimed to meet the agricultural sector’s labour needs post Brexit universities will be allowed to charge up to £4K a year for...
