Brexit Party candidate apologises for not wearing poppy on his Nazi uniform

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Brexit Party candidate Graham Cushway has been forced to issue an apology after being spotted without a Remembrance Day poppy on his Luftwaffe uniform. Mr...
Brick Wall

Remainers celebrate Brexit anniversary by repeatedly bashing their heads against brick wall

18
The tens of millions of people who voted to stay in the European Union, and those that wished they had but couldn't be assed...

Brexiter says his raison d’être is to keep English for the english

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Brexiter Pierre Norman has spoken to the Rochdale Herald about how his raison d'être is to get England out of the EU so he...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson granted protected geographical status by EU just like a Jersey potato

7
The EU has announced this morning that it has listed Boris Johnson as a product of the United Kingdom with protected geographical status, just...

Heath department hails compulsory organ donation as possible way to pay for Brexit

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Sources inside the Department of Health this evening are said to be excited over the Secretary of State's alleged contribution to the debate about...
Scientist

Most Brexiteers cheat at Monopoly study finds

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Researchers at Rochdale College have found evidence that seems to show most Brexiteers cheat during family games of Monopoly. Dr Frederick Seddon told us, "We...

Remainers lead campaign to remove warning labels from household chemicals and rerun Brexit referendum

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It's been revealed that remainers are leading a campaign to remove warning labels from household chemicals. It's believed that this is part of their...
Boris Johnson Football

Gareth Southgate fields Boris in goal for Brexit bill penalty shoot out against Merkel’s...

1
This morning's news that the tussle over the Brexit divorce bill will be decided with a winner takes all penalty shoot out between England...

Theresa May to win Brexit by sitting on her chair at low tide at...

0
Boris Johnson, Michael Gove, Jacob Rees-mogg and Owen Patterson have volunteered to carry May’s throne to the shoreline for her, before setting it in the sands and retreating so May can take her seat. She will then start screaming at the sea.

Warnings issued magic mushroom Brexit brexitius causes hallucinations of £350M week for NHS

10
Health officials in the United Kingdom issued warnings today regarding the consumption of a new species of magic mushroom called ‘Brexit brexitius’ as consumers...

Britain leaves E.U. in last night’s dress and no tights

3
At 6.30 this morning, Britain hailed a taxi while attempting to wipe off the worst of last night's make-up, confident in the knowledge that...

Theresa May to rebrand Conservatives as People’s Front of Judea to present united front...

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Many alternative names were considered. The United Front of Judean People. This was taken unfortunately by a group lead by David Davis and Sajid Javid. Splitters!

Woman always repeating “no meal is better than a bad meal” now dining alone

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A woman who keeps saying “no meal is better than a bad meal” to the people she’s supposed to have dinner with dined alone...

British automakers to make english sparkling wine for export to Japan after Brexit

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Boris Johnson, acting Prime Minister, has followed up Theresa May’s success in Japan by reassuring Japanese business lobbies British automakers can produce enough english...

Labour conference advised “Don’t mention the Brexit, I mentioned it once but I think...

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The Labour Party Conference in Brighton attendees have been advised not to mention the Brexit. They mentioned it once, but they think they got...

Government reassures that Brexit talk delays are all part of the plan

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Number 10 has today reassured the Rochdale Herald that everything is in good order and that they do, in fact, know what they are...

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