Brexit

Boris Johnson, Michael Gove, Jacob Rees-mogg and Owen Patterson have volunteered to carry May’s throne to the shoreline for her, before setting it in the sands and retreating so May can take her seat. She will then start screaming at the sea.

Researchers at Rochdale College have found evidence that seems to show most Brexiteers cheat during family games of Monopoly. Dr Frederick Seddon told us, "We took a wide range of volunteer families from different classes,...

A Rochdale man has spoken of his anger after his new blue passport cover turned out to be Prussian blue with gold lettering. Cliff Edge had ordered the passport cover from the well known online...

A British tourist was detained by police in Frankfurt today after being arrested at Frankfurt train station. The tourist is understood to have been queueing at passport control for so long he was able to...

Brexiter Pierre Norman has spoken to the Rochdale Herald about how his raison d'être is to get England out of the EU so he can purify the English language for everyone in the United...

Foreign words already resident in the native tongue, like Welsh ones, will be allowed to remain after England (and the others) exit the EU.

“Rain shower means rain shower."

A study of mobility scooter battery life has shown that a Brexiteer led civil war would last 9 hours. 6 if the battles were waged on a 1:8 gradient hill. Military expert, Sir Peter Tatter-Smythe-Douglas...

One of Britain's chief Brexit negotiators has been saying how the film, Dunkirk has inspired him in his negotiations for Brexit. Cliff Edge told the Herald, "It's really inspirational even now. I don't know what...

Dr Liam Fox is in America this week offering the United Kingdom up as America’s toilet, after Brexit, and sees no risk of a blockage. “Whenever you need to dump a load of hamburger we’ll...

Everyone in Britain awoke this morning overjoyed to know they are one more day closer to losing their freedom of movement across Europe and getting are country back. The ability to move freely across twenty...

"It will be my most challenging about face yet." The Prime Minister is reported to have informed her cabinet as they prepared to disband for the summer holidays. "I will need the support of each...

Birmingham is a modern, cosmopolitan city whose motto, Forward, sums it up perfectly. The smug, self-serving shithole that is London is the reverse. With its man-bunned hipsters vaping vapidly and gladly paying £10 for...

The European Commission has confirmed that it has prepared plans to launch a Dunkirk style flotilla to rescue EU nationals in the event that the entire fabric of UK society collapses after Brexit, a...

A rowdy press conference found our embattled Prime Monster under pressure once again. Finally revealing the true meaning of Brexit as famine, disease and war, questions were immediately begged. "That's only three horsemen! What about the...

Remain voters around the country are said to be absolutely furious to learn that every single person who voted to remain in the European Union will die after the Brexit negotiations are concluded. They are...