London celebrates first “Gammon Pride” event
Scotland Yard and the Met Police are bracing for potential violent clashes at a "Gammon Pride" event being held in London today.
The event will...
Michael Gove says Brexit is “like a box of chocolates…”
The Brexit negotiations have been tentative, at best, with British MPs doing their darndest not to get absolutely battered in the process. Unfortunately, Britain’s...
Boris Johnson says he was baked when he made cake and eat it brexit...
Foreign to the truth Secretary Boris Johnson has attempted to evade responsibility for the calamity that Brexit has become by allegedly claiming he was...
Britons to get easy sex after Brexit as the entire world lines up to...
Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for...
WTO confirms nations can trade with U.K. on a ‘pity fuck’ basis.
The WTO has confirmed that in the case of a no deal Brexit, member nations will be free to trade with the U.K. as...
Theresa May to rebrand Conservatives as People’s Front of Judea to present united front...
Many alternative names were considered. The United Front of Judean People. This was taken unfortunately by a group lead by David Davis and Sajid Javid. Splitters!
Remainers celebrate Brexit anniversary by repeatedly bashing their heads against brick wall
The tens of millions of people who voted to stay in the European Union, and those that wished they had but couldn't be assed...
Brexit means famine, disease and war confirms Theresa May
A rowdy press conference found our embattled Prime Monster under pressure once again. Finally revealing the true meaning of Brexit as famine, disease and war,...
Brexit means Brexit, obviously, says Jeremy Corbyn
'Brexit means Brexit and we're going to make a success of it', Jeremy Corbyn will say this afternoon.
He will speak from the top of...
Full blown Brexit testing on monkeys halted after everything in lab just f*cking died
David Davis, lead researcher in the government's secretive Brexit Lab, has announced that Brexit testing on monkeys has been halted after everything in the...
Home Office confirms that new blue UK passports will be HALAL-CERTIFIED
The Home Office has confirmed that the United Kingdom's post-Brexit passport covers will be halal-certified.
The iconic Royal blue cover, which is due to be...
Boris Johnson granted protected geographical status by EU just like a Jersey potato
The EU has announced this morning that it has listed Boris Johnson as a product of the United Kingdom with protected geographical status, just...
Moody’s downgrade UK credit rating to junk status after realising who’s in charge
It was announced this morning by a genuinely startled press that international rating agency Moody’s has downgraded the UK credit status to junk after...
Proposed Irish border solution scattered Lego bricks and sign saying ‘please remove shoes’
Brexit negotiations have hit a "a real problem" over the issue of the Irish border, government sources have confirmed today.
Hopes of a breakthrough were...
Britain declares national state of Armagammon
An emergency committee has confirmed that Britain faces an unprecedented state of 'Armagammon' today.
One insider told us, "This is the highest state we could be...
Greggs announce Paris as post Brexit Euro trading base and name change to De...
Food supremo Greggs announced via a Rochdale Herald exclusive today that they have chosen Paris for their post Brexit trading headquarters and will soon...
