Government immigration policy document wedged between windows described as strong and stable
The media was all over reports this morning that a strong and stable government policy document on immigration has become wedged between two windows...
Theresa May to be replaced by heavy slow moving rain shower
“Rain shower means rain shower."
Theresa May rehearsing upcoming Brexit u-turn while on hill walking holiday
"It will be my most challenging about face yet." The Prime Minister is reported to have informed her cabinet as they prepared to disband...
Britons happy counting down the days till they lose freedom of movement
Everyone in Britain awoke this morning overjoyed to know they are one more day closer to losing their freedom of movement across Europe and...
We’re all going to die after Brexit, confirms Philip Hammond
Remain voters around the country are said to be absolutely furious to learn that every single person who voted to remain in the European...
Blitz spirit redefined as refusing to get off bus because somebody has a milkshake
Nigel Farage has confirmed that when he or his party talk of 'the Blitz spirit' he is referring to the act of cowering on...
Failed withdrawal expected to lead to painful Labour
Using the withdrawal method requires a high level of self-control. Even then, the withdrawal method isn't especially effective.
On the face of it (which is...
Wonga provide financial aid package as Britain’s credit rating reduced
Payday loan provider Wonga has announced today that it has offered to step in and help the government. The move follows a further reduction...
Saint George will be denied entry visa under proposed post Brexit immigration rules
Brexiters across the land were furious today with the news that proposed changes to immigration rules after Brexit make it highly likely Saint George...
Get behind my shit deal or we won’t be able to do dreadful thing,...
Theresa May has urged MP's to get behind her awful Brexit plan or risk not being able to have Brexit.
With many people warning that...
Gareth Southgate fields Boris in goal for Brexit bill penalty shoot out against Merkel’s...
This morning's news that the tussle over the Brexit divorce bill will be decided with a winner takes all penalty shoot out between England...
Rescue Workers Call Off Search for Theresa May’s Credibility
Rescue workers hunting through the wreckage of Theresa May's career have called off the search for the remains of her credibility. They made the...
University of life grads outraged over EU threats of further education
Graduates of the world famous British University of Life expressed their outrage this morning after top Eurocrat tyrant Mickie “the barb” Barnier threatened them...
Remain campaigners thwarted by import shortage of “I Told You So”s
Anti-Brexit campaigners are suffering from a shortage of "I Told You So"s, as "Project Fear" rapidly swings into "Operation I Told You So", as...
Theresa May to rebrand Conservatives as People’s Front of Judea to present united front...
Many alternative names were considered. The United Front of Judean People. This was taken unfortunately by a group lead by David Davis and Sajid Javid. Splitters!
Chequers agreement shreds itself
Michel Barnier has revealed that the sole copy of the latest version of the Chequers agreement shredded itself in his office yesterday.
"I popped out...
