Mark Francois – Gammon Messiah: A Parliamentary Sketch

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An hour of hilarity last night made the last three years of purgatory almost worth it. The efforts by the hardest, crustiest elements of the...
David Davis

Brexit talks in crisis after Michel Barnier unfriends David Davis on Facebook

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The UK's negotiations with the EU hit a stumbling block today, after it emerged that Michel Barnier has unfriended David Davis on Facebook. Brexit secretary...

We’re not racist we want fewer white Polish faces too, Brexiters tell Vince...

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Brexiters have taken umbrage at Vince Cable's suggestion that they'd like to see more white faces. Cliff Edge, a red man who normally speaks in...

Government immigration policy document wedged between windows described as strong and stable

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The media was all over reports this morning that a strong and stable government policy document on immigration has become wedged between two windows...

May red faced after failure to personally deliver EU nationals deportation letters

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The Office of the Prime Minister Theresa May served up a rare slice of humble pie as Ms May apologised for not personally handing...

Woman always repeating “no meal is better than a bad meal” now dining alone

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A woman who keeps saying “no meal is better than a bad meal” to the people she’s supposed to have dinner with dined alone...
Mobility Scooter

Study finds brexit civil war would last as long as average mobility scooter battery...

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A study of mobility scooter battery life has shown that a Brexiteer led civil war would last 9 hours. 6 if the battles were...
Blue Passport

Man left fuming after blue passport cover turns out to be Prussian blue

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A Rochdale man has spoken of his anger after his new blue passport cover turned out to be Prussian blue with gold lettering. Cliff Edge...
Jeremy Corbyn

“We can’t stop Brexit without a strong opposition”, says old hippy who keeps forgetting...

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Jeremy Corbyn has taken time out from his busy schedule of avoiding anybody not singing, "Oh, Jeremy Corbyn" to prove he's still alive and...
Brick Wall

Remainers celebrate Brexit anniversary by repeatedly bashing their heads against brick wall

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The tens of millions of people who voted to stay in the European Union, and those that wished they had but couldn't be assed...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson granted protected geographical status by EU just like a Jersey potato

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The EU has announced this morning that it has listed Boris Johnson as a product of the United Kingdom with protected geographical status, just...

David Davis hospitalised after failing to negotiate his way out of wet paper bag

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It is reported that every staff member on the exercise rapidly ripped a hole into the side of the giant, wet paper bag and emerged unscathed and rejuvenated, except David Davis, who seemed to struggle.

David Davis chosen as Westminster village idiot from competitive field

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Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union, David Davis, has been chosen to hold the esteemed job of Westminster Village Idiot, beating off...

Theresa May outrages Japanese Prime Minister with deportation letter

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British Prime Minister Theresa May has become embroiled in a diplomatic incident while visiting Japan after personally delivering a Home Office deportation letter to...
Angry Man Shouting

Britain declares national state of Armagammon

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An emergency committee has confirmed that Britain faces an unprecedented state of 'Armagammon' today. One insider told us, "This is the highest state we could be...

Having cake and eating it disappointment intensifies

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A group of Rochdale toddlers are stamping their feet and crying after they were told that they cannot have their cake and eat it. The...

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