City of Brighton & Hove to be shortened by 1 metre after Brexit

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Residents of Brighton & Hove were shocked to discover plans to shorten their city by 1 metre along it's East/West axis following Brexit. In 1972,...

Immortan Joe assures War Boys Post-Apocalyptic Desert Dystopia less chaotic than Brexit

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Gas Town will not be "plunged into a Brexit style world borrowed from dystopian fiction" after the nuclear winter, Immortan Joe has said today.

Corbyn stands on box labelled Schrödinger’s jobs brexit at Labour conference

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The Labour conference in Brighton today will feature an entertaining diversion when national treasure Jeremy Corbyn takes to the stage and stands on a...

London sewer found clogged with dreams of the young after government flushes future down...

17
Sewer workers in the London area of Whitechapel have reportedly found the dreams of the young decomposing in a giant blockage in the system...
Titanic

British shipping businesses not optimistic enough about massive iceberg heading for Atlantic say Brexit...

2
The Brexit lobby has claimed the trillion tonne iceberg heading for the Atlantic from Antarctica is a challenge to British shipping interests to put...

David Davis chosen as Westminster village idiot from competitive field

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Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union, David Davis, has been chosen to hold the esteemed job of Westminster Village Idiot, beating off...

Tories “Limited and specific” law breaking given thumbs up by criminals

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As the UK government is apparently comfortable breaking international law over plans to unilaterally overwrite part of the Brexit withdrawal agreement, The Rochdale Herald...
Rees Mogg Farage

Massive bell end demands to hear massive bell end our EU relationship

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Jacob Rees-moog is leading a rabble of conservative political bell ends drunk on Prosecco demanding to hear a big bell chime on the day...
Pensioners

Remain camp optimistic about outcome of second referendum following forecasts of harsh winter

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Reports of a harsh winter allied with a fuel crisis has buoyed hopes of remaining part of the EC. Remain campaigner Frank Anwalther said "We...
For Sale Signs

London in crisis as Brexit threatens to make house prices affordable

2
One of the many mysteries wrapped up inside the "Brexit means Brexit" enigma has been revealed. To the overwhelming delight of the capital's aspirational...

Senior Brexiter demands white York roses repainted Tudor rose for sake of national unity

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A senior Brexiter has demanded that all of York’s white roses should be repainted as classic red and white Tudor roses for the sake...

Don’t vote for a chaotic Brexit, says cause of chaotic Brexit

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Loose cannon David Davis describes the scattergun approach to Brexit as "regrettable". The strident anti-EU campaigner wants the UK to cut the European cord,...
Scientist

Most Brexiteers cheat at Monopoly study finds

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Researchers at Rochdale College have found evidence that seems to show most Brexiteers cheat during family games of Monopoly. Dr Frederick Seddon told us, "We...

Prominent woman to feature on new £2 banknote nicknamed ‘Lost and found’ worth one...

1
The Bank of England announced this morning that Prime Minister Theresa May will feature on a new two pound banknote timed for release in...

Clocks won’t go back this month due to EU ruling

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The European Union and the UK Government have agreed that the UK's clocks won't go back an hour in October this year or change...

UK’s youngest Brexit voter has died aged seventy three

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We met in a small cafe in Westminster. A reporter for the Rochdale Herald and Britain's youngest Brexit supporter. Shining another glass to make...

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