German Police Train Station

British tourist arrested in Frankfurt after tunnelling out of passport control and trying to...

0
A British tourist was detained by police in Frankfurt today after being arrested at Frankfurt train station. The tourist is understood to have been queueing...
Hippies Hippy

Cornwall in Crisis as more middle class hippies leaving than arriving since Brexit

0
Cornwall is in crisis as studies show, for the first time in a generation, more middle-class old hippies are leaving than arriving. One local, Anni...
Theresa May

Get behind my shit deal or we won’t be able to do dreadful thing,...

0
Theresa May has urged MP's to get behind her awful Brexit plan or risk not being able to have Brexit. With many people warning that...

Prominent woman to feature on new £2 banknote nicknamed ‘Lost and found’ worth one...

1
The Bank of England announced this morning that Prime Minister Theresa May will feature on a new two pound banknote timed for release in...

UK’s youngest Brexit voter has died aged seventy three

0
We met in a small cafe in Westminster. A reporter for the Rochdale Herald and Britain's youngest Brexit supporter. Shining another glass to make...

Nigel Farage’s reveals apocalyptic Brexit plan involves moving to Germany

0
Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) has revealed a Brexit Armageddon plan that involves him relocating to Germany. It's understood that should Britain exit the...

City of Brighton & Hove to be shortened by 1 metre after Brexit

0
Residents of Brighton & Hove were shocked to discover plans to shorten their city by 1 metre along it's East/West axis following Brexit. In 1972,...

Statistics confirm three kinds of lies; lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s statistics

0
UK Statistics Authority have reaffirmed the old adage today that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s use of...
David Davis

Brexit talks in crisis after Michel Barnier unfriends David Davis on Facebook

8
The UK's negotiations with the EU hit a stumbling block today, after it emerged that Michel Barnier has unfriended David Davis on Facebook. Brexit secretary...
Florence

Theresa May to prove in Florence it’s not just British people who don’t listen...

0
The British Prime Minister is today at the EU Summit in Florence to give a landmark speech to a 4,000 seat amphitheatre containing one...

Blitz spirit redefined as refusing to get off bus because somebody has a milkshake

0
Nigel Farage has confirmed that when he or his party talk of 'the Blitz spirit' he is referring to the act of cowering on...

David Davis hospitalised after failing to negotiate his way out of wet paper bag

0
It is reported that every staff member on the exercise rapidly ripped a hole into the side of the giant, wet paper bag and emerged unscathed and rejuvenated, except David Davis, who seemed to struggle.

David Davis reveals he’s accidentally been attending PTA meetings in Brussels and has no...

0
There were refreshing bursts of honesty in the ritual Brexit update today when David Davis revealed he’s only just worked out he’s been attending...

UK wakes up in shower and realises it was all a dream

0
Season 6 of the failing blockbuster drama Brexiting Bad has plumbed new depths of plotting. Following episodes where lead character Boris Johnson got angry and...

Brexit a Fucking Shambles, Says John Major

0
Former Prime Minister and voice of reason John Major has confirmed in a speech that the ongoing government brexit negotiations are a fucking shambles. Major,...

Chinese restaurant closes after filling fortune cookies with prime minister’s slogans

0
A Rochdale Chinese restaurant that served bespoke fortune cookies holding the prime minister’s slogans has abruptly closed. The owner of the restaurant, 72 year old...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts