Other News

Thousands of satirists across the UK and their tens of readers around the world face a crisis as the supplies of ink slowed to dribble today. Analysts blame the shortage on an abnormally high...

Several women were arrested this morning following a verbal altercation outside Rochdale's women's institute.The women who can't be named for legal reasons are being held for questioning by Greater Manchester Police under new anti-misandry...

Apologies for the error in this morning's post wherein we referred to the reinstating of 'Hulture Secretary Jeremy Cunt'. This was a typographical error, and should of course have read 'Health Secretary Jeremy Cunt'....

Albert Fudge, a Rochdale based web designer employed by the Conservative Party- has accidentally deleted the European Human Rights Act. The tech boffin was asked by Theresa May's new Government to get rid of the...

After years of negotiations and any number of setbacks the much-anticipated wall of fame to celebrate our most cherished home-grown talents could soon be a reality. A number of campaigns over the past ten years...

Bank of England catastrophe juggler, Mark Carney, made no change to interest rates this lunchtime. Rochdale savers wondering exactly what this means have had things explained by local financial whizzkid, Imran Stockdale: "Currently your savings accrue...

Homegrown boffin and university lecturer Professor Arthur Nidear has today Published his findings after 2 years researching whether the much-loved spread, which is also the much hated spread, had any links at all into...

Rochdale Socialist Worker Party member and activist, Quentin Lennon, was celebrating today after finding out that he is part of the biggest political party in the UK. Quentin, who you may have seen in the...

Scientists and Government sources have confirmed that the giant asteroid, 2016-FI is on course to strike the Northern Hemisphere after initial uncertainty about it's trajectory. The news was first reported by California's Yackler Observatory...

Tory Party Members up and down the country are reported to be livid that the withdrawal of Andrea Leadsom has robbed them of their "Masters of the Universe" complex over their right to personally...

Cliff Richards recently learned that South Yorkshire Police will not be pursuing historic sexual abuse claims against him, but he hasn't escaped the wrath of the good folk of Rochdale. The entire population is...

A woman who made up a fictitious CV in order to secure a series of well paid jobs in The City is about to withdraw from the recruitment process for the "top job" in...

A new campaign has surfaced drawing attention to hyper-fertile Tory leadership hopeful Andrea Leadsom's penchant for bulking the national populace. Stop Leadsom Over Breeding for Fuck's sake (or SLOBF, to give it its frankly shoddily...

Speaking at the Nato summit in Warsaw this week, David Cameron has hinted that almost £16bn ear-marked for the renewal of the Trident nuclear weapons system may be redirected to Niantic, the company behind...

28.2E Astra2/Eurobird1 may not mean anything to most people, but it is very much in the minds of worried Rochdale residents who have recently learned that the high-tech TV satellite is expected to fall...

The Emergency Services and NHS Trusts in London & the South East areas are reported to be within 24 hours of collapse. Since the vote to leave the EU, A&E departments have been flooded by...