Westboro Baptist Church

Westboro Baptist Churchgoers saddened by news that God actually hates FAQ’s

0
Congregation of famously homophobic church disheartened to learn that The Almighty is 'proper hacked off with being asked the same dumb shit over and...
Sun Journalist

BBC releases SHOCKING photo of Sun journalist doing JOURNALISM

0
The BBC have released what are being termed as, "shocking" photographs of Sun newspaper journalists committing acts of journalism and accurate reporting. Stan Still said,...
David Davis

Picture of Dorian Gray to replace Britain in future relationship with EU

0
It's thought the deeper thinking behind moving the picture to the front line of negotiations over the future relationship of Britain and the EU is as a result of the government discovering just how far up a creek they've rowed already.
Beach

Government votes to go on holiday early after solving all UK’s problems

0
Members of parliament have overwhelmingly voted to bring their summer break forward as a reward for having solved all of the UK's problems. The...

Parents across the country prepare to encourage their kids to defy them

0
Yes, it's that time of the year again, the nights are drawing in, there's a chill in the air and knob heads can't wait...
Daily Express Readers

Daily Express launches Diana 20th anniversary commemorative sticker album

7
The Daily Express and Panini have announce the launch of a commemorative sticker album for the 20th anniversary of the late Princess Diana. Express readers...
Champagne Socialist

“Are we middle class?” Ask champagne swilling corbynistas

38
A group of friends from Rochdale have come to the horrible realisation that they maybe middle class. Julian "Trotsky" Bennett told us, "We're committed to...

Dead refugees welcome say Home Office

0
Refugees will be welcome to Great Britain providing they are dead, under a new scheme announced by the Home Office. The new measures, expected to...
British Transport Police

Jury rules justified homicide after man murdered for drinking mug of tea without removing...

0
A jury has ruled justifiable homicide in the case of a man who was beaten to death on a train near Rochdale after several...

Diane Abbot “fed lines through an ear-piece” says former leader

0
Diane Abbot's former Leader has claimed the MP is fed her lines through an earpiece so she doesn't have to memorise facts, figures, policy...
Bergxit

Antarctical 50 signed, Bergxit means Bergxit

4
Today an area four times the size of London has broken away from the Antarctic landmass. It is a worrying example of rising sea...
Bomb Squad

May tells Merkel,”This is just a taste of what I’ve got”.

0
News reports this morning state that the entire city of Hannover is to be evacuated following the discovery of numerous unexploded WW2 bombs. Apparently, Theresa...

Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck Corbyn tells press conference

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Jeremy Corbyn met a press conference today to tell the British public exactly how delighted he is that Theresa May has called a snap...

Full blown Brexit testing on monkeys halted after everything in lab just f*cking died

9
David Davis, lead researcher in the government's secretive Brexit Lab, has announced that Brexit testing on monkeys has been halted after everything in the...

Black Cops to shoot unarmed white civilians in controversial Charlotte anti-racism plan

0
Charlotte Police Department have unveiled a controversial yet utterly foolproof plan to combat claims that their police force is institutionally racist. They're going to let...

UK in shock after Corbyn refuses to answer trick question

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Big news! Corbyn, asked if the UK will leave the EU "come hell or high water" if he becomes PM, refused 6 times to...

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