Yeah, well I didn’t want an election anyway, so ner, huffs ridiculous man child
The degradation of formerly Great Britain continued this week, with the news that Boris Johnson has again failed in his attempt to call a...
Team behind the May-Bot to try turning it off and back on again
The Project May-Bot team have announced that due to recent poor performance and unexpected features being noted, they are looking into resetting the May-Bot...
Miraculous Jesus face found on Twinkie atop words “sort your fucking gun laws out”
A Mr Billy-Bob Jnr III of Kentucky has made the US news with his Jackpot discovery in an all American snack pack. After a...
If Labour win election I’ll do Match of the Day nude says Gary Lineker
Labour bosses have signed up Gary Lineker to work his magic on the election.
Harry Potter thinks Corbo is “Absolutely Wizard!”
Former Auror and famed 'boy who lived' Harry Potter has revolted against JK Rowling, who is his creator, by supporting Jeremy Corbyn only days...
Doctors find hating immigrants can increase risk of getting Nuttalls
Recent medical studies have found a direct link between xenophobic thoughts and the rampant outbreak of Nuttalls in the U.K.
Closely resembling a haemorrhoid, a...
Success of women’s sports teams coincides with an increase in cases of erectile dysfunction,...
The NHS is struggling to keep up with the increase in male erectile dysfunction which appears to coincide with the success of female sporting...
Nuttall lost close personal election in Stoke
Tragedy stricken leader of UKIP, Paul Nuttall (105), faced fresh disaster yesterday when he lost a close personal election in Stoke.
"Everything was looking good,...
World’s oldest Andrew Neil joke discovered in cave in France
Excavations at caves in Lascaux uncover the oldest as yet discovered Andrew Neil joke believed to date back almost 20,000 years.
An excited team of...
Amateur Orthopaedic Surgeon not as good as expert – concedes Brexit voter sick of...
Following months of "expert fatigue" the British public may now be prepared to start listening to people who know what they're fucking talking about.
Following...
Boris Johnson shocked to discover British Empire no longer contains Canada
Foreign Office officials have confirmed that Boris Johnson has finally accepted that the British Empire no longer contains Canada, more than a year after...
Miliband secures votes of hen-pecked husbands and nagging wives by doing housework for votes
Ed Miliband has vowed to do the dishes, take the rubbish out to the bin and mow lawns for every member in his North Doncaster...
Government exempts itself from report on racism
The Government quickly moved to exempt itself from the report released yesterday which found major inequalities on racial grounds in UK organisations. Speaking without...
Flying Arse Crashes Nose First
The longest aircraft in the world- the Airlander 10, nicknamed the flying bum- has crash landed in a field in Bedfordshire on it's second...
David Davis chosen as Westminster village idiot from competitive field
Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union, David Davis, has been chosen to hold the esteemed job of Westminster Village Idiot, beating off...
Woman alleges Corbyn hasn’t paid her for pram PR stunt yet
Ms Mia Faberge has alleged Jeremy Corbyn is yet to pay her for the PR stunt wherein she lent him her sister’s baby in...
