Actor playing Donald Trump forgets stage directions
Due to White House budget cuts, an experienced but cheap actor was selected for the part. Bit part "character actor" Rowle Player is best...
Hammond to read policy documents before saying them out loud in future
Phillip Hammond, for now at least Chancellor of the Exchequer, has announced that in future he will "have a butchers at" major policy documents...
Diane Abbott quits shadow cabinet to be the new face of Soul Glo
Diane Abbott has shocked the nation by resigning from the shadow cabinet days before election week in order to be the new face of Soul...
England team reveal plan to completely disappoint everyone is going smoothly
Gareth Southgate has revealed that his plan to completely disappoint loads of English people is going exactly according to plan.
At a press conference Southgate...
Dig for Victory, says Corbyn facing Brexit economic doom
Jeremy Corbyn, leader of the opposition and the second coming Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour, has set about his first week back in...
What have you done to celebrate WORLD BOOK DAY?
The 5th of March is World Book Day.
On the 5th of March many people around the world like nothing more than to dress their...
BBC Believes Last Labour Voter Now Extinct
Naturalists have accused the BBC of poor science after it was revealed the broadcasting corporation believes there are no more Labour voters.
The shock extinction...
Confusion as Trump blames The Who for Coronavirus pandemic
US President Donald Trump caused a wave of confusion and condemnation earlier today, when it was announced that he would be cutting funding to British rock...
People who wanted our country back surprised to discover that it’s still here
Eurosceptic holidaymakers are swapping Corfu for Cornwall, Lanzarote for Llandudno. British travel agents report that Brits are going to UK destinations they never knew...
Remain camp optimistic about outcome of second referendum following forecasts of harsh winter
Reports of a harsh winter allied with a fuel crisis has buoyed hopes of remaining part of the EC.
Remain campaigner Frank Anwalther said "We...
Accusations of Racism Hit John Lewis Commercial
The new John Lewis advert, featuring a black British family giving their daughter a trampoline for Christmas has been denounced as racist.
"It's an...
Local party member unsure whether Tory website hacked or just total bullsh*t
Following Friday's 'sustained and aggressive' cyber attack on Westminster, speculation mounts as to whether the official Conservative party website has been hacked and vandalised...
Alex Jones discusses the Trump presidency
Good evening. Today I am speaking to Radio host and Bacofoil and batshit salesman, Alex Jones.
Good afternoon, Alex. How are you feeling after Trump's rather...
Tories fined £20 million for pumping untreated sewage into people’s brains
The Conservatives are facing a hefty fine after it has been discovered that their manifesto pledges and reassurances over Brexit were found to contain...
Physicists discover Brexit actually a black hole that feeds on political parties
The astrophysics world has been in overdrive this week at the announcement of a newly discovered black hole located somewhere over the English Channel.
The...
New father awarded medal for empathy by comparing childbirth to having a tricky poo
"My partner, Honeydew, was having an awful time squeezing little Clytemnestra out. It reminded me of a time I had ferocious constipation and needed half an hour to curl one out." He spread a little ketchup on his sausage.
