Rooney arrested crying into bottle of 20/20 wearing Man Utd pyjamas
My night of 20/20, Man Utd pyjamas and Steradent with mysterious brunette.
Everton striker Wayne Rooney has been charged with drink-driving offences in the...
Bloke paid to piss off bull killed by pissed off bull
A bloke whose job it was to piss off two tonne bulls managed to piss off a two tonne bull to the extent that...
Conservative MPs unable to point to their constituency on a map
A recent survey has revealed that a staggering 89% of Tory MPs are unable to findtheir constituency on a map.
The survey results, which were...
Team GB aim for Olympic Gold in ‘Slipping over while carrying the shopping home’
Team GB have seen a few medal opportunities slip through their fingers in the first few days of the Pyeongchang Winter Olympics but have...
Brain dead lunkhead defeats violent wanker in front of large crowd of idiots
Nearly eight brain cells were killed in a mass brawl following the Ultimate Fight Club bout between Conman McGregor and Khabab Gnawmigonadov in Las...
East goes west in latest Celebrity Bushtucker Trial
"I'm pleased to have played my part though I won't be joining camp for dinner. I'm stuffed."
NYPD Target Leprechaun Community After $1m Bucket of Gold Stolen
NYPD are looking for a thief who managed to carry an 86lb (36kg) bucket of gold flakes worth $1.6m (£1.2m) off a truck in...
UKIP Politician selling more than just political lies
Welsh UKIPper, Andrew “IQ not very” Haigh doesn't just sell bullshit through his party, it transpires.
The national organiser for Wales also sells utter bollocks...
Donald Trump denies links to Donald Trump Jnr
Donald Trump has denied ever meeting Donald Trump Jr. The denial comes after it was revealed by Trump Jr that he had met Russian Natalia...
Harry and Meghan to take holiday from going on holiday
The palace has revealed this morning that plans are in place to give the Duke and Duchess of Sussex a well deserved break from...
Oven ready chicken refuses to leave fridge
Despite professing for weeks that he was much more oven ready than 'that Turkey Corbyn', the world's largest chicken has refused to leave a...
Panic grips nation as Britain realises Boris is in charge
Supermarkets across the land are fast running out of canned goods and bottled water and survivalist websites across the world are crashing as thousands...
Ant in rehab after Dec shoots him in the eye with paintball gun
The North East was rocked today as Ant revealed he has been shot in the eye by long time friend and co-presenter Dec.
Owen Smith calls for another vote on leadership challenge
In a statement the bespectacled Bilko impersonator said;
"Just like on the issue of Europe, many people wanted a different outcome. I'd be prepared to...
Exclusive CIA interview: Russia definitely baddies.
The Herald, your only reliable source for news these days, has yet again got the scoopiest of exclusives, today we interview the CIA...
Government announce plans to build new homes for immigrants on Rockall
Yesterday, far off of anyone's radar and while the teacup storm over Jeremy Corbyn's recent train journey reached stratospheric new heights, the UK government...
