Corbyn delighted to hear of Monarch’s collapse

9
Jeremy Corbyn gleefully whistled whilst spreading marmalade across his toast this morning, as a result of Monarch airline going bust, according to his neighbour. Burt...
sperm bank

Despite Brexit vote UK National Sperm Bank to close due to wanker shortage

12
Despite all evidence to the contrary the U.K. Is suffering from a profound wanker shortage after the National Sperm Bank recruited only seven wankers in two years.

Pokémon Go! the new surfing

0
With the craze sweeping the world, it appears that 'Pokémon Go!' has overtaken surfing as the world's coolest hobby. According to a new survey in...

Government immigration policy document wedged between windows described as strong and stable

0
The media was all over reports this morning that a strong and stable government policy document on immigration has become wedged between two windows...

Remainers lead campaign to remove warning labels from household chemicals and rerun Brexit referendum

0
It's been revealed that remainers are leading a campaign to remove warning labels from household chemicals. It's believed that this is part of their...

Rochdale Herald guide to the top ten books to read before you die

0
At the Rochdale Herald it's all about mindfulness and self improvement in January. In that spirit, we take a look at 10 books you should...

Outcry as Moon to get 4G before Burnley

0
There was protest in East Lancashire today, as plans by Vodafone & Nokia to launch a 4G mobile network on the lunar surface from...
Jeremy Corbyn

A politician’s ex definitely unbiased source, insist BBC 

0
To prove they're balanced and fair, the BBC have asked Jeremy Corbyn's ex wife for her totally independent and unbiased view on the Labour...

Rochdale Murderer Caught

0
There was shock and disbelief amongst Rochdale motorists yesterday as the police went out and caught a murderer, instead of stopping poor innocent speed...

No Brexit is better than a bad Brexit says David Davis

10
After boldly caving in to the EU negotiators on day one of talks the Brexit minister, David Davis, was in a bullish mood.  “We have...

Trump redefines Pre-existing Conditions as type of terror

0
A new kind of terrorism is trying to destroy the great American dream, according to the Trump Administration today. “Pre-existing conditions are trying to ruin...
Nurses

Stressed nurses sick of sick people

0
Shedloads of stressed-out British nurses are leaving the profession because they are fed up with their working conditions and marginally better than national average...

Brainless moron shaves 30 seconds off his drive home by doing 70 through the...

0
One dickhead has been telling the Herald about how he has found a way to shave 30 seconds off the time it takes him...

Global Markets panic as #BoycottEverything goes viral on Twitter

0
Capitalism is on the verge of a complete irreversible collapse top Economists revealed today with the entire system due to crash, burn, explode and...

Climate change deniers blame solar panels for sucking all the light out of the...

Climate change deniers took to social media today to decry the damage being done by solar panels to the sun, which they blame for...

Strangers raise over £170,000 to give to anyone

0
A GoFundMe page was set up yesterday and has already raised over a £170,000 with all proceeds to someone. The page's founder, Simon Collins, said;...

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