JK Rowling Announces New Harry Potter Book
In a move sure to delight her legion of fans, JK Rowling has let slip to the World a new book in the series.
Tory sparks by-election because… er…reasons.
Former non-dom tax shy billionaire's son and general Tory role model Zac Goldsmith has resigned from his position as a Tory MP after the...
Paul Nuttall – Why I Won’t Talk About Fight Club
Paul Nuttall O.B.E is reluctant to talk about Fight Club, the global phenomenon he founded in 1996.
“Chuck and me, we don't talk about it." He...
May convinced she needs one more f*cking slogan to convince country to back austerity
The Prime Minister is said to be personally convinced another f*cking slogan will convince the entire country to back austerity.
Catchphrases repeated to the point...
Last PPI claimant found alive and well
The last person who is yet to be investigated whether or not they were mis-sold PPI has been found, bewildered, but alive.
After years of...
Gareth Southgate fields Boris in goal for Brexit bill penalty shoot out against Merkel’s...
This morning's news that the tussle over the Brexit divorce bill will be decided with a winner takes all penalty shoot out between England...
Travel Chaos Hailed as “Complete Success” by French.
French authorities today claimed that their test of the post-Brexit border checks was a complete success, with motorists in Kent delayed for hours and...
Big Mac Inventor’s funeral to be smaller than it looks in adverts
Michael "Jim" Delligatti, the man who invented the MacDonalds Big Mac burger (and apparently wasn't aware of what Jim is supposed to be short for) has died leaving people unsatisfied and feeling slightly ripped off.
Newspaper sellers to take precautions.
Newsagents and shops where papers are sold all over the UK are being urged by the Health and Safety Executive to take extra precautions...
Rising crime and falling numbers of police are incredible coincidence, insists Downing Street
Rising crime rates and the falling numbers of policemen on the streets are just an amazing coincidence and are in no way related, sources...
What’s so f*cking great about sliced bread ask furious genius inventors
The wheel, the lightbulb, combustion engine, space travel, and the internet all pale in comparison to pre-sliced bread according to public opinion.
"I created the...
Pray for your health suckers says Mike Pence
The Rev Mike Pence, deputy pastor at the Church of the Poison Mind, Washington, DC, has been quoted as saying "What the American people need...
Electric shock therapy recharges your batteries, says sadistic boss
The boss of a Rochdale mobile phone tech support company, Globally Integrated Mobile Phone Solutions, has been telling the Herald how electric shock therapy...
Farage exposed as Russian “mole”, according to Rochdale medium
Rochdale medium Mrs Isadore Goggins today revealed that Nigel Farage is a Russian mole bent on destroying the UK, the EU and the US.
The news was...
Melania Trump reveals her favourite iPod Playlist
In an exclusive interview with The Rochdale Herald the former Eastern European 'model' and wife of President Elect Donald Trump revealed her favourite iPod playlist.
Curse of the Railway Children Strikes Again as Deddie Davies Dies
The Curse of "The Railway Children" has struck again. The film made in 1970 told the tale of a group of children and a...
