Rochdale Herald Editor Re-admitted to Hospital

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Herald editor, Quentin D. Fortesqueue has been re-admitted to Rochdale General Hospital for surgery to remove his tongue from his cheek. The jaded and cynical...
Celebrating Santa

WOW! SECRET SANTA UPDATE – 2,644 presents and £21,570 raised

The Big Fat Secret Santa appeal we're running with NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People in Local Papers and Tuckered is really gathering...

What to do when your dog dies in your hot car

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Summer is here and forecasters are predicting a heatwave in the coming weeks. With temperatures expected to hit 30oC the country will be awash...

Brexit bias uncovered in Westminster

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After detailed research, leading academics have revealed a list of staunchly pro Brexit MPs and have demanded that the old, rich white people in...

Boris Johnson says he was baked when he made cake and eat it brexit...

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Foreign to the truth Secretary Boris Johnson has attempted to evade responsibility for the calamity that Brexit has become by allegedly claiming he was...

Theresa May Reads A Christmas Carol Backwards To Give It A Happy Ending

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It's one of the most famous stories, if not the most famous, in the English language. It's been made into countless films, plays and...
Doctor

Doctor of Medicine degree to be replaced with Google

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A brainchild policy of Health Secretary, Jeremy Hunt, has been leaked from the Conservative General Election Manifesto. The policy will outline plans to increase doctor numbers...
Christmas Presents

The Big Fat Secret Santa Appeal Update – 3,373 gifts worth £27,173.08

The Big Fat Secret Santa appeal we're running with NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People in Local Papers and Tuckered is really gathering steam...
Prince Philip

Prince Philip spends night lying on coat of arms on hospital floor

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The ninety seven-year-old Duke of Edinburgh who has suspected flu was forced to sleep on a hospital treatment room floor because of a lack...
Family Watching Television

ITV to rival Gogglebox with show about idiots watching morons watching television

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Channel 4 have been ratings kings for the last few years with their flagship show, Gogglebox.  In the surprise smash idiots get to watch...

Self-publicist Simon Danczuk MP fails to start Twitter war with Vince Cable

Disgraced labour MP, serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk accused the former Business Secretary Sir Vince Cable of being "old hat" on...
Amber Rudd

One in the eye for Tories as Rudd loses Hastings seat

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Amber Rudd tonight accepted a role as full-time spokesperson for Theresa May. The Herald asked Amber what caused her seat to turn Red, and she...

Westminster fury as MPs told six week wait to process expenses claims

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There were raucous scenes at Westminster yesterday as several MPs were advised that a new system for processing expenses meant a six week wait...
Migration

Overmortgaged Soft Southern Twats to buy entire North of England during next house price...

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Public officials in the North of England are conducting secret emergency planning meetings in preparation for one of the largest migrations of people in...

Million chimps on typewriters still haven’t come up with Brexit plan

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In an undisclosed location somewhere in an underground catacomb deep under Westminster, project Megachimp has been underway for several months now. It's aim; to...

‘Darkest Hour’ movie just two hours of Churchill shagging

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Viewers have reacted with shock after the new Winston Churchill biopic, Darkest Hour, depicted Britain's former wartime Prime Minister having sex for two hours...

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