Millenials believe Stalin killed more people than Blair

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A recent survey of little shits proved that they know absolutely nothing about history, even though you can't prize Google from their tiny ungrateful...

Dirty Danczuk disappoints again

Weary Rochdale let out yet another groan of despair after yet more revelations of the serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk's sex...

Herald life hacks: Get rich quick with… an inheritance

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Experts say this is the best way to get ahead in life It's January, which means you likely have nothing but mince pie dust in...

People urged to buy nuclear submarines to boost jobs in Barrow

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People are being urged to buy nuclear submarines as part of a strategy to reduce the effects of poverty in Barrow-in-Furness. The call comes on...
Bono

Campaign to buy Bono a Rolex stunning success

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A Kickstarter campaign to buy Bono a £15,000 Rolex watch has been hailed as an astounding success by the man who started. Bill Board told...
Jeremy Corbyn

Man who claims he will talk to anyone to solve problems refuses to talk...

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A man who often says that you should meet your opponents and discuss problems and issues with them to find a solution has refused...
Titanic

Nicky Morgan claims ‘Titanic captain should not be judged by his worst mistakes’

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Nicky Morgan yesterday made a conciliatory reference to fellow Tory leadership no-hoper Michael Gove's penchant for Charlie as a naive young 31 year old...

Kinder, with these chocolates you are really not spoiling us

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German confectionary giant Kinder has announced plans to remove the toys from 52% of all UK bound Kinder Eggs from the 1st of October...

Three Tenors worth only £17.93 after Brexit

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Outraged music lovers everywhere have been devastated by the news that Brexit will cause the Three Tenors to be devalued to £17.93. Observers have noted...

Neo Nazis, KKK and Nigel Farage call Trump Chief of Staff “my kind of...

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Nigel Farage joined the Ku Klux Klan and Neo Nazis across America to praise Donald Trump's choice of alt-right Breitbart propagandist Steve Bannon today. "He's...

No binary education says May

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Prime Minister Theresa May has heralded new education reforms by telling us that there will be "no return to the binary system of the...

Companies forced to list massively racist employees

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British companies are to be made to publish lists of how many employees are nasty and racist, under new plans announced by home secretary...
Michael Gove

Michael Gove concedes sushi made from poisonous blowfish should be made by an expert

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Michael Gove, the man who claimed Britain had “had enough of experts” would appear to have at least some time for them, at least...

Labour voter’s sciatica cured after Corbyn hug

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Rochdale Labour voter Kyle Henderson has told the Herald how his sciatica was cured after he hugged Jeremy Corbyn at a Labour election rally. Mr...

Pet lovers left feline annoyed by introduction of Cat Licenses

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Today the government announced the controversial plan to tax all cat owners by making cat licenses mandatory. The move could bring a much needed £89...
Michael Gove

Michael Gove announced as editor of Unbelievable Bastard Magazine

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Following the news that Gideon "man of the people" Osborne has been appointed editor of The London Evening Standard the publishers of Backstabbers Quarterly...

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