Stormzy shuts up agent after transfer confusion
Following the glaring error made by Irish newspaper, The Herald (no relation) where a picture of the grime MC was used instead of Romelu...
Queen celebrates being 22 in lizard years
The Queen has celebrated being 22 in lizard years today.
David Attenborough was there to capture the celebrations and was able to give the...
Crossfit cult ‘survivor’ makes full recovery after being rescued
A former member of the cult of Crossfit, Steve ‘Tits’ Day, has spoken for the first time having made a full recovery from his formerly...
MPs & Celebrities injured in stampede to be the most offended
MPs have described the 'hysterical' moment they were crushed in a desperate stampede to be the most righteously indignant and offended.
Mike Backbencher - MP...
Royal Doulton to produce commemorative Alex Salmond Toby Jug
The iconic British pottery company which was established in 1815 made the announcement yesterday.
Managing Director, Timothy Clay, said;
"Toby Jugs were always a popular item...
Power Hungry Admins Have New Axe To Wield
With the advent of the all new ‘mute button’, passive, aggressive bitches everywhere are in their element.
We spoke to one such angry woman,...
Twats on train don’t know they’re twats
A large group of noisy twats on a train from London to Yorkshire are apparently unaware that they are all colossal twats.
The group, who...
Netflix wins rights to top North Korean show Kim’ll fix it
Netflix have been named as winners of a bidding war that saw them win the rights to show the hit Korean show, Kim'll Fix...
May tells Merkel,”This is just a taste of what I’ve got”.
News reports this morning state that the entire city of Hannover is to be evacuated following the discovery of numerous unexploded WW2 bombs.
Apparently, Theresa...
Government Agrees Government Should Spy On You
After a thorough and totally independent investigation by the Government, the Government has found that it is indeed right for the Government to spy...
U.S transgender community ‘relieved’ they will not die fighting for Trump
As President Trump, leader of the free world, announced that transgender citizens would no longer be allowed to serve the U.S. Armed forces in...
You’re more likely to find nice top at car boot sale wearing blindfold than...
It turns out that you’re more likely to find something that fits if you close your eyes and dig around in a skip or the boot of a stranger’s car than at TK Maxx.
London Motorists furious that cyclists lives might be saved
London drivers are currently outraged at London mayor Sadiq Khan's plans to reduce cyclists deaths.
"Over half of cyclist deaths in the capital involve construction...
Trump and Putin fail to beat each other in two hour long rock, paper,...
Presidents Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin met face to face for the first time in public yesterday and went for each other in a...
“I did not have fap relations with my work computer” says Damien Green
The beleaguered Secretary of State is still denying accusations of downloading and viewing porn like a teen with two dicks on his office computer...
Couple spend entire evening on Netflix before deciding what film to watch at 1am
Johnny and Mary (not real names) are just your average suburban dwelling couple who work hard on the weekdays and like to relax in...
