Gaucho steak restaurant chain latest to get burnt by borrowing to beef up returns
Restaurant chain Gaucho, and its sister Cau, collapsed into administration this week, after it was steered into a series of financial mis-steaks
Administrators have taken...
Farage takes on Eurovision
In a shock move today, the rubber faced, racist, people's champion Nigel Farage has announced his intentions to represent Great Britain in next year's...
Duchess of Cambridge to host special royal edition of Bake Off
Hot on the news that she is expecting her third child Channel 4 has announced that the Duchess of Cambridge is to present a...
Corbyn hires Arsene Wenger as Labour Manager
It appears that politics will see a tornado of excitement and enthusiasm as Jeremy Corbyn is planning to bring in the current Arsenal manager...
Mordor agrees below inflation pay rise for Hobbits
Over a million Hobbits across The Shire including front line ring bearers and turnip farmers are expected to receive 6% pay increases, the Rochdale Herald has been told.
Railway commuters told to save money by becoming drug addicts and losing their jobs
Railway commuters have been told that it will now cost at least one internal organ for them to travel to work this year. Costs...
Deranged cycle path murders his spell checker
Rochdale police have announced they have comprehended and changed a man in his fortes for the brittle killing of his spell checker.
In a statesman, a...
What do people need money for? Asks man wearing suit borrowed from tramp
A man wearing a suit borrowed from a hobo went on national radio yesterday to suggest people should only be allowed to earn a maximum amount of money.
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World in shock as man with history of taking steroids runs faster than bloke...
The World is in shock today after a bloke who has a well documented history of taking performance enhancing drugs ran a bit faster than a bloke who doesn't.
Elton John’s Buckfast addled night of passion with Jimmy Krankie’s Mum
Elton John, no stranger to controversy, has claimed that he had a one night stand with the mother of TV comedian-child Jimmy Krankie while...
You fucking asked for it vindictive Remain campaigner tells public after triggering Article 50
Theresa May has told the British public that "you fucking asked for it" at a press conference after formally triggering the process to leave...
Theresa May sanctioned by ATOS for missing Woman’s Hour Interview
The Herald has learned that Theresa May is facing sanctions by ATOS today after missing two job interviews in a row.
The soon to be...
Donald Trump commemorative jigsaws to have missing pieces by design
The White House has confirmed that the new range of Trump jigsaw puzzles, commemorating the President's achievements in office, are deliberately missing several pieces.
The...
Medical advances meant most students will survive to pay back large debts PM reassures...
The woman pretending to be British Prime Minister is expected to increase her appeal to the younger demographics today. She will do it by...
Country takes pity on Ginger Labour MP
After Labour MP Jared O’Mara had his sexual fantasies broadcast for all to see, the entire country has donated to a crowdfunding page to...
