Lions

Dickheads eaten by lions

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At least three dickheads have been mauled to death and eaten by some lovely lions after breaking into a wildlife reserve in South Africa. The...

Farage to become economic migrant.

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Sources close to the MEP, would be ambassador and professional Admiral Ackbar lookalike Nigel Farage, say he is close to moving the the USA. Apparently...
Chernobyl Fallout

Scientists warn against wearing Ukrainian underpants because Chernobyl Fallout

Scientists from the University of Kiev have issued a stark warning to people all over the world about the dangers of wearing Ukrainian undercrackers.

Jeremy Corbyn to cross floor to lead the Conservative Party

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Written off as a hopeless loser, terrorist supporter and left-wing extremist at the start of last week's general election campaign, Jeremy Corbyn has risen...

Man Flu Worse Than AIDS Cancer And Ebola Combined Say Scientists

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We've all heard of the dreaded Man Flu in our time, but a team of scientists in Rochdale have finally catalogued the full effects. “The...

Belinda Carlisle vindicated as Heaven proved to be a place on Earth.

4
The scientific and religious worlds were in shock yesterday after a newly discovered island in a remote part of the Indian Ocean was found...

Researchers reclassify idiocy as alt-intelligence

Gavin Chappie of Rochdale Community University claims to have made a discovery in the development of AI.  He told the Herald that his theory may...

Channel 4 GBBO winner to bake Noel Fielding into space cake and consume him

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Television pundits were going mad this afternoon with the leaked news that the finale of Great British Bake Off on Channel 4 features the...

Travel Chaos Hailed as “Complete Success” by French.

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French authorities today claimed that their test of the post-Brexit border checks was a complete success, with motorists in Kent delayed for hours and...
Office Workers

Passive aggressive colleague is genuinely ‘looking forward to your reply’

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An office worker who regularly distributes passive aggressive emails genuinely is 'looking forward to your response' because he is very lonely and has little...

Greggs is not for us; says Jersey

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Pasty super chain and northern nutrition giant Greggs is to close its doors in the tax haven of Jersey after just 18 months of...
Theresa May

Teresa May to trigger Brexit after finding Shergar

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Teresa May has finally announced her cabinet's decisive plan to trigger article 50 reminding Brexit voters that it is still "on her to do...
Liam Fox

I’ve never even heard of Liam Fox says Liam Fox

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Conservative MP, Secretary of State for International Trade and President of the Board of Trade, Dr Liam Fox, has issued a blanket denial that...
Rees Mogg

Height supremacists promise New World Order will be with us shortly

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Growing support for alt-height movement Height Supremacists have a new doyen in the shape of Sixtus Rees-Mogg. Rees-Mogg initially attracted support with a very modern...
Ballot paper

Labour to campaign for Liberal Democrats in June 8th General Election

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Diane Abbott was resurrected this afternoon to speak to a journalist of sorts, on the BBC. Ms Abbott used one of her last possible...
Trump

Sending emails much worse than raping children Trump tells supporters

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Donald Trump told supporters at a rally today that accusations that Hillary Clinton mishandled emails during her tenure as Secretary of State were much...

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