Writer

It’s too damn hot to write satire says satirist

2
Dick Turnip, writer for the Rochdale Herald, has been left unable to write a single humorous thing commenting on, or parodying the day's news. "It's...

Woman always repeating “no meal is better than a bad meal” went hungry last...

3
A woman who keeps saying “no meal is better than a bad meal” to the people she’s supposed to have dinner with went hungry...
Jeremy Clarkson

Racist arsehole in Spanish hospital after falling ill with pneumonia

A violent, egomaniacal racist arsehole is being treated for pneumonia after being admitted to hospital in Majorca.
Downing Street

Stubborn turd refuses to flush

6
A massive turd that is blocking the downstairs bog next to the Cabinet Meeting Room in Downing Street has been studiously ignoring hints that...
Dress Down Friday

Rochdale boss dresses down staff after casual Friday turns Nazi

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The age old question of trying to persuade employees to continue to care about work on a Friday has vexed employers for decades. A...

Sean Spicer to be the reassuring new voice of Southern Rail

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It was reported this morning that Southern Rail are headhunting Sean Spicer to be the new, reassuring voice of the beleaguered train service. It's thought...

Boris not offensive, simply misunderstood – insists Boris

Posh fop-headed press gob and Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson has defended the countless insults and faux pas he has made by claiming that each...

Petition to stop The Simpsons writing ‘Katie Hopkins becoming PrimeMinister’ episode reaches 65 million...

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Creator of The Simpsons, Matt Groening, announced in an interview last week that he was planning an episode  in which human bile balloon, Katie...

Lords Punish May With Dance

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Prime Minister Theresa May attempted to intimidate The Lords this evening with a “dance off”. And failed terribly. A furious May entered the Lords...

Putin’s money was just resting in my account Trump tells James Comey

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Donald Trump has dismissed as fake news any suggestion that money that has appeared in his account is anything to do with collusion with...

Diane Abbott To Play Nigel Farage In Brexit The Movie

8
In a surprising turn, it has just been announced that a movie of Brexit is to be made and the part of Nigel Farage is...

“Curling is so boring I needed vodka Red Bulls to stay awake” says banned...

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As the Olympic curling competition reaches its 14th straight day, Russian athlete Alexander Krushelnitsky has tested positive for the stimulant RedBull and been banished...

Public outcry as politician caught out telling the truth

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Big news in the world of politics today where the Mayor of Rushcliffe has been lambasted for not lying.  Christine Jeffreys, Mayor of Rushcliffe...

New York Times Reported to the House Committee for Un-American Activities

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The New York Times, long considered to be the lap-dog mouthpiece of the Commie-loving East-coast foreigner, has finally (and thankfully) been reported to the...

New Tony Blair character in Cluedo, cannot be accused

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Exciting news for fans of the classic board game Cluedo as a new character is to be introduced! That character is no other than former...
Trump

Trump restores American faith in Bush

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Donald Trump has today been credited with restoring America's faith in Bush. Dwayne Dwight of Alabama told the Herald "I was big into Bush in...

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