Wonga provide financial aid package as Britain’s credit rating reduced
Payday loan provider Wonga has announced today that it has offered to step in and help the government. The move follows a further reduction...
Trump to rename Black Friday White Friday
Today news has reached us here at The Herald that President elect Donald Trump has insisted Black Friday (the traditional start of the festive...
Rose Gold for afternoon strolls
After a 112 year wait to prove how good we are at walking slowly around a park Britain's Justin Rose yesterday casually sealed gold...
Labour lose 30 seats in boundary adjustment, laugh Tories
The Conservative Party and the conservative government have denied that the electoral boundary change proposals are an attempt to ensure a Conservative advantage.
"It's just...
Sean Spicer to reform Spice Girls with former band-mate Paul Nuttall
Disgraced former White House press spokesman Sean "Ginger" Spicer has announced that he plans to return to his original career as an air headed exponent of...
Bert Outs Himself as Straight After “Living a Lie”
Actor and former Sesame Streeter Bert has broken one of the major taboos that surround acting by revealing that he is not gay.
Bert had...
Celebrities reveal best detox is to take money from idiots
Celebrities have allegedly been explaining how the best detox is to take money from idiots.
In a statement celebrity food blogger Andrew Coconut Fox said,...
Inside the Dark Underbelly of Kensington: Salad Dealers
Our Herald undercover reporter uncovers the sinister side of the illegal Kensington salad trade.
It’s 2 a.m. and I’m standing outside an all-night coffee shop...
Massive chip dislocates Katie Hopkins shoulder
There were grave concerns for Katie Hopkins today when the massive chip she uses as a shoulder deepened and caused her arm to calve...
Jeremy Hunt worshipped as God of pestilence and disease by Amazonian Tribe
An offshoot of the Kawahiva people of the Amazon, only recently discovered, are revealed to be remarkably aware of Jeremy Hunt, the health secretary.
"Our...
Theresa May to prove in Florence it’s not just British people who don’t listen...
The British Prime Minister is today at the EU Summit in Florence to give a landmark speech to a 4,000 seat amphitheatre containing one...
Gun sales rise 300% ahead of Trump Inauguration
American gun sales have enjoyed a steep rise in the days leading up to the President elect's inauguration.
"It's almost 200% more than when Bush...
Big Fat Secret Santa Appeal – 2,329 Gifts bought in four days
Four days ago we launched our Big Fat Secret Santa appeal with the wonderful guys and girls at NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People...
May announces bed sharing and brunch in effort to save NHS
The NHS is in crisis, dead bodies litter corridors and elderly people lie stranded, a trip hazard for nurses, and a health and safety...
Michael Flatley confirmed as world’s second biggest wanker
Rhino horn collector and jig enthusiast Michael Flatley confirmed today that he is the World's second biggest wanker after announcing he will perform a jig at Trump's Inauguration Ball.
“Don’t worry, my government will soon be gone.” May reassures a worried public
Theresa May stood outside 10 Downing Street this afternoon to reassure an increasingly worried country that, "Don't worry, my government will soon be gone."
"It...
