Bono

Berlin enjoys best U2 gig in years as Bono loses his voice

0
It's being dubbed as the greatest U2 concert ever by people who bought tickets but can't work out why. U2 played Berlin last night and...
Pigs

Brexit Party set for MEP gains. Scientists bring pig brains back from the dead

0
Early opinion polls show a likely overall victory for the Brexit Party in the upcoming European Parliament elections.  Scientists have restored brain activity to...

Former KGB thug Is UKIP leader’s hero

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Diane James, former Transvision Vamp singer current UKIP führer, says Vladimir Putin is one of her political heroes.  Speaking on The Sunday Politics, the Dot...

Nigel Farage launches leadership challenge

0
Less then 24 hours after fewer than half of UKIP members voted for part time Ronnie Wood lookalike Diane James to be their new...
Mark Garnier

What’s wrong with asking your secretary to buy you a dildo, asks complete dildo

0
The king of Dildos and soon to be former International Trade Minister Mark Garnier is to investigated over a potential breach of the ministerial code after he admitted to asking a former parliamentary aide to buy him a dildo
Shouty man

‘Corporal punishment should be reinstated’ – people against Sharia law

4
A recent survey of lobotomised knuckle dragging fuck nuggets revealed that they are fighting against the values that they themselves hold most dear. We caught...

Thousands Face Having to go to Work as RMT Calls for Driver Walk-In

0
Hundreds of thousands of rail passengers face actually going to work as the RMT told Southern Rail employees to actually do their jobs. Staff will...
Pensioners

Pensioners with British Gas look forward to choosing between freezing and starving to death...

10
"My pension didn't cover the old price. In fact, the only reason I didn't freeze to death last year is because I was able to burn all the ‘late Payment’ notices that British Gas kept sending out"
Brown bear in woods

Smith Reveals Bears have secret plan.

0
In a speech today Labour leadership candidate Owen Smith has revealed that bears have secret plans to defecate in the woods. In a hustings earlier...

Panic across UK as white substance continues to fall from sky

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A state of emergency has been declared in a number of regions after a strange white substance fell from the sky recently. As councils...

Sign up to the daily Rochdale Herald newsletter

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The technical gods at The Rochdale Herald have built a very special daily newsletter that goes out every few days by email. If you want...

Special place in hell for people who put kisses on Facebook comments 

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An ancient Biblical commandment that has been left out of Bibles and Torah for thousands of years has finally been translated.  Archeolinguist Barry Wordsworth told...

Saint George will be denied entry visa under proposed post Brexit immigration rules

40
Brexiters across the land were furious today with the news that proposed changes to immigration rules after Brexit make it highly likely Saint George...

Rochdale Feel Good Festival to be Re-Named Feel Alright

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The once popular Rochdale Feel Good Festival is to be rebranded as 'The Rochdale Feel Alright Festival' in a shock last minute announcement by...

Attenborough Discovers New Great Ape Species In America

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Noted elderly naturist David Attenborough was cock-a-hoop yesterday when he announced the discovery of the first new species of great ape for many years. Mr...

Jeremy Corbyn thrilled to get through to judges houses

5
The election result has seen Jeremy Corbyn in a new light and he is hoping to continue this form into the next stage of...

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