Nationalism only good if you’re not Scottish, say nationalists who aren’t Scottish
Nationalists across England are up in arms at the suggestion that Scotland might have a referendum to leave the UK and become an independent...
Electric shock therapy recharges your batteries, says sadistic boss
The boss of a Rochdale mobile phone tech support company, Globally Integrated Mobile Phone Solutions, has been telling the Herald how electric shock therapy...
Melania Trump reveals her favourite iPod Playlist
In an exclusive interview with The Rochdale Herald the former Eastern European 'model' and wife of President Elect Donald Trump revealed her favourite iPod playlist.
UKIP pledge to bring back 70’s style pubic hair
UKIP have pledged to restore pubic hair to levels not seen since the 1970's, in a move they hope will secure the allegiance of...
Labour to campaign for Liberal Democrats in June 8th General Election
Diane Abbott was resurrected this afternoon to speak to a journalist of sorts, on the BBC.
Ms Abbott used one of her last possible...
Satirist attempts to write Muhammad joke in bid to appease angry ‘Christians’
A writer for the internet's biggest Rochdale-based satire site, The Rochdale Herald, has spent the past 15 minutes trying to conjure up some sort...
Boris Johnson awards Carillion contract to build bridge to France
Boris Johnson's office has revealed that the Government will award the contract to build a bridge between Britain and France to construction company and...
Blitz spirit redefined as refusing to get off bus because somebody has a milkshake
Nigel Farage has confirmed that when he or his party talk of 'the Blitz spirit' he is referring to the act of cowering on...
Gary Lineker to present MOTD in bejewelled jockstrap if BBC scrap gender pay gap
Following the release of salaries of high profile staff at the BBC one of the highest paid stars has vowed to make a stand.
Former...
Chips aren’t as tasty as live mice confirms Prime Minister
In an attempt to appear more human Theresa May took a break from eating her usual diet of live mice and had one of her aides...
Millenials believe Stalin killed more people than Blair
A recent survey of little shits proved that they know absolutely nothing about history, even though you can't prize Google from their tiny ungrateful...
Shops barely containing their desire to unload Christmas tat
Rochdale trading standards office has revealed it has been inundated with complaints about retailers desperate to begin selling their Christmas wares.
Officer Colin McNigelson told...
Campaign to buy Bono a Rolex stunning success
A Kickstarter campaign to buy Bono a £15,000 Rolex watch has been hailed as an astounding success by the man who started.
Bill Board told...
Theresa May outrages Japanese Prime Minister with deportation letter
British Prime Minister Theresa May has become embroiled in a diplomatic incident while visiting Japan after personally delivering a Home Office deportation letter to...
New Doctor Who already hates Jeremy Hunt
The new Doctor hasn't even reanimated yet and already she has fallen out with Jeremy Hunt.
The Doctor told the Herald, "Jeremy asked to see...
Expansion of stop and search powers opposed by MPs and other criminals
Leaked Home Office document shows that the high concentration of police at the entrance to Parliament could lead to unprecedented levels of stop and...
