“Are we middle class?” Ask champagne swilling corbynistas
A group of friends from Rochdale have come to the horrible realisation that they maybe middle class.
Julian "Trotsky" Bennett told us, "We're committed to...
Jury rules justified homicide after man murdered for drinking mug of tea without removing...
A jury has ruled justifiable homicide in the case of a man who was beaten to death on a train near Rochdale after several...
Costa kicks Conte into touch
Former Chelsea Striker Diego Costa says he did not want to leave the club on bad terms, after being dragged kicking and screaming from...
May tells Merkel,”This is just a taste of what I’ve got”.
News reports this morning state that the entire city of Hannover is to be evacuated following the discovery of numerous unexploded WW2 bombs.
Apparently, Theresa...
Sheffield Tree-Felling Councillor Hospitalised With Irony Overdose
It has been revealed that Clr Brian 'Hodge' Podge, the Sheffield Councillor responsible for the hugely unpopular street tree felling programme, was rushed to...
Hunt solves NHS waiting list crisis with introduction of geological clock
Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has solved the problem of NHS waiting times by making hospitals use the geological clock.
After coming under increasing pressure from...
May to ‘Rasta’ it up
In a leaked Downing Street memo, it is believed that Prime Minister Theresa May is to reach out to sections of society who feel...
EU condemns punchy politics
After events today the EU has made an announcement about violent behaviour.
Guy Verhofstadt, famous both for having a mouth like a vending machine and...
Radical preacher Anjem Choudary Wins a Five-and-a-Half Year Contract to Radicalise UK Prison Population
The 49-year-old was today offered the position at the Old Bailey after an exhaustive selection process. Police say Choudary will now have a captive...
FIFA poppy row escalates
British football fans have been advised that if they object to FIFA's stance on its national teams wearing poppies on armistice day, then they...
Only a good guy with a nuclear weapon can stop a bad guy with...
The only way to stop a bad guy with a nuclear weapon is a good guy with a nuclear weapon. That's according to the...
Brexiteers to die of cirrhosis 20% sooner thanks to Wetherspoons
Price cuts on just before date-expired cask ale and fizzy lager mean that Wetherspoons customers will be able to drink themselves to death more...
Jesus slammed for not following government advice after going out and getting hammered
A 33 year old man from Galilee has been criticised by the GNP, Greater Nazareth Police, after reportedly having a massive dinner party with...
Bank of England to use vegan fat in new £20 notes
Last year vegans and social justice warriors, fighting on behalf of un-offended Hindus and Sikhs, absolutely lost their shit because of the Bank of...
Jeremy Corbyn confirmed as contestant for Strictly Come Dancing 2017
It's shaping up to be another great year for Strictly Come Dancing as yet another political star is confirmed on the line up to...
I’m nothing like Steve Bannon – says Darth Vader
Darth Vader took to Twitter today to distance himself from "that evil bastard" Steve Bannon after Bannon compared himself to Darth Vader, Thomas Cromwell, Dick Cheney and Satan.
