Lessons not learned for out of touch May as she fails to show up...
Critics have jumped on to Theresa May claiming that she is out of touch and still has not learned the lessons of the recent...
Dyslexic holocaust denier accused of being anti-semantic
"It's them Joos again!" exclaimed Noel Iteracy. "I hate Joos, except Orange Juice, they was a good band, but Big Country was huge twats...
Met Office advise all future storms named Storm Boris until May gets the balls...
The Met Office has released a statement this lunch time advising that all storms to hit the United Kingdom this winter will be named...
Twitter explodes after banning racist for racism after warning him not to be racist...
The social media platform Twitter is going bonkers today after permanently banning a user for inciting an abusive racist attack on a fellow Twitter...
We’re not doing anything dodgy with your data, says company renowned for doing dodgy...
A multi-million organisation has insisted that there's nothing suspicious at all about the new data policy updates, despite them being completely and utterly suspicious.
'The...
Russians Accuse Corbyn of ‘Cultural Appropriation’
British Russians have reacted angrily to the Labour's Election Manifesto announced by Jeremy Corbyn and accused him of "offending or even humiliating an entire...
Trump to take Twitter attacks on the road
Donald Trump is to embark on a lengthy world tour in January, to ensure he can insult world leaders who don't follow him...
Conservatives to shoot badgers until Henry VIII powers allow them to hunt with dogs...
Conservative MP George Eustice was allegedly out celebrating at a champagne breakfast this morning after deciding to kill a lot more badgers in order...
Moron says something moronic
A moron has uttered a statement that is totally devoid of intelligence, it has emerged.
The exact words used in this situation concerned a...
‘Patriot’ to be removed from the Oxford ENGLISH Dictionary following successful liberal campaign
Oxford University Press have confirmed that the word 'patriot' will no longer feature in future editions of the Oxford English Dictionary.
The words 'patriotic' and...
Statistics confirm three kinds of lies; lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s statistics
UK Statistics Authority have reaffirmed the old adage today that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s use of...
Salisbury hospital closes and two critically injured after being exposed to Jeremy hunt
Salisbury hospital was closed today and 2 people are still critically ill today amidst extraordinary scenes said to be the result of Jeremy Hunt.
The...
Local Man PROMISES he’s only drinking Strongbow Dark Fruit ‘because it’s sunny’
A local man has insisted that he doesn't normally drink Strongbow Dark Fruit, but when it's sunny outside 'everybody does it'.
Usually opting for an...
Nigel Farage’s reveals apocalyptic Brexit plan involves moving to Germany
Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) has revealed a Brexit Armageddon plan that involves him relocating to Germany. It's understood that should Britain exit the...
Jack Whitehall cast in lead role in Idris Elba biopic
Over the weekend the actor and "comedian" Jack Whitehall took to social media to address rumours that he might play Idris Elba in the...
Coronavirus causes charmer to consider condoms
Since moving to London, St Cuthbert's alumnus Ben Green has prided himself on, in his own words, "spreading his chutney round Putney". Claiming to...
