Nurses offered choice between 10% bonus or chance to kick Jeremy Hunt in the...
Three cheers to our beloved leader Mrs May for a delightful dilemma this Christmas.
We here at The Rochdale Herald recognise we are often so...
Queue for pedalos during Dunkirk evacuation shorter than Benidorm immigration control confirm veterans
Eyewitness accounts given by proper British holidaymakers desperate to return to the UK reveal that queues for pedalos during the Dunkirk evacuation were shorter...
All your medals belong to us – Says China
As the country basks in the glory of Team GB's second place in the Olympic medal table, China released a press statement saying,
"The People's...
Justin Bieber cancels world tour due to popular demand
Justin Bieber has cancelled the remainder of his world tour after 1.4bn Chinese people demanded it.
A publicist told us, "Premature endings are always disappointing....
Idiot turns on News and now can’t sleep
A man in Lancashire this evening accidentally turned on his television this evening to see Donald Trump leading Hillary Clinton in the polls in North Carolina and now definitely won't sleep.
Trump loses grip on reality, demands to be new Dr Who.
US President Donald Trump has called on the BBC to appoint him as the new Dr Who.
In a series of tweets at 3am this...
Trump threatens military action against ‘rocket man’
President Trump used his recent address to the UN Security Council to threaten ‘rocket man’ Sir Elton John, who he accuses of attempting to...
Nuttall Lost Close Personal Friends When They Discovered He Was An Arsehole
UKIP leader Paul Nuttall lost 'close personal friends' when they discovered he was a bigoted, racist arsehole.
“People started to shun me and sometimes even...
Theresa May declares ‘sit down session’ with Trump a huge success
British Prime Minister Theresa May Friday declared her "sit down meeting" with newly elected US President Donald Trump to have been "a roaring success".
"He...
Success of women’s sports teams coincides with an increase in cases of erectile dysfunction,...
The NHS is struggling to keep up with the increase in male erectile dysfunction which appears to coincide with the success of female sporting...
People who say Nazis were socialists to lose human status
The UN has today confirmed that anyone who says Nazis were socialist are to lose human status, joining holocaust deniers in the shortlist of...
Leave voters incensed as EU threatens to take away Continental summer weather
Leave voters voiced their anger today as the EU threatened to take away the Continental weather that sees England baking in sunshine and heat...
Government’s Brexit White Paper revealed
The hotly anticipated government White Paper on Brexit was released this week to an explosion of love juice from the editors of the Mail...
Theresa May Attempting To Make David Cameron Look Better In Retrospect
Theresa May’s goal as Prime Minister is to ensure that people don’t remember David Cameron’s premiership as the worst in history, it has emerged.
Speaking...
Television viewers shocked to discover drama series that doesn’t involve paedophiles
Viewers of a new TV drama series have spoken of their shock at discovering that it didn't involve paedophillia at any point.
Departure, a new...
Southern Rail Boss to get by on £3,000,000 salary to show solidarity with commuters
David Brown of the Go Ahead and Keolis conglomerate that owns and runs Govia which owns the GTR that runs Southern Rail, said today...
