Level 9 vegan stops eating anything that casts shadow
The scene, a shed on a barren windswept farm. The place, deep within West Yorkshire's infamous rhubarb triangle, the home of hidden suffering for...
Boss of insolvent Maplin vows to solder on
The failure of electrical retailer Maplin has shocked the market after fuse saw it coming, but is it indicative of the current state of...
VAR becomes favourite to win Sports Personality of the Year
VAR is now the favourite to win BBC Sports Personality of the Year. It marks a remarkable turnaround in VAR's fortunes after spending the...
Harvey Weinstein’s office pot plant to release cover of Louis Armstrong’s Nobody Knows The...
Harvey Weinstein’s office pot plant, a large Ficus Lyrata Bambino, is to going to release a seven inch cover of the 1921 classic “Nobody...
BBC Radio 2 breakfast show ratings soar, as listeners want their bloody money’s worth
As the dust starts to settle on Terry Wogan's grave after being disturbed so much by him spinning in it, the Rochdale Herald can...
Government plans to lower age of criminal responsibility to 2 YEARS OLD
To help with the deficit, the government will be lowering the age of criminal responsibility to 2. The age of criminal responsibility is currently...
Waitrose appoint new Head of Egg Hiding
Supermarket giant Waitrose today announced the appointment of Alex Bell as the new Head of Egg Hiding.
Proudly the UK market leader in un-helpful shop...
UKIP Historian reveals Russia didn’t invade Afghanistan and Hitler was misunderstood
Acclaimed UKIP historian and shit stirrer extraordinaire, Arron Banks, took to Twitter yesterday to point out that "the Russians didn't invade Afghanistan."
The historian and...
World shits itself after Putin spotted smiling
Political commentators in Moscow are all-a-chatter today over the unprecedented gossip that Vladimir Putin has been observed smirking slightly.
The current record was set in...
Last PPI claimant found alive and well
The last person who is yet to be investigated whether or not they were mis-sold PPI has been found, bewildered, but alive.
After years of...
UKIP cancel party conference musical chairs event
UKIP have announced that the musical chairs event that was to be held at their summer conference has been cancelled.
The event at the Travelodge Nuneaton...
New Minister for Loneliness reveals she’s feeling a bit lonely in Westminster
Theresa May the UK Prime Minister recently announced Tracey Crouch as new Minister of Loneliness.
Speaking exclusively to the Rochdale Herald's Political correspondent in...
Dickheads eaten by lions
At least three dickheads have been mauled to death and eaten by some lovely lions after breaking into a wildlife reserve in South Africa.
The...
Blitz spirit will see us through says man panic buying sanitary towels and Quinoa
The UK's Health Secretary, Matt Hancock, has likened the nation's handling of the Coronavirus pandemic to the "Blitz spirit" which saw plucky Brits through...
Rochdale Herald unaffected by patriotic Tory policy to censor Internet
Excellent Tory plan is embraced by all writers of most patriotic newspaper in North of England
In response to a letter from that most patriotic...
Musicians speak at upset of knowing that Tories like their work
Distraught musicians Florence Welch and Calvin Harris have spoken out at their horror of discovering that they have next to no control over what...
