Bashar-al-Assad

Shock poll puts Bashar Assad ahead of May and other UK party leaders

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The first opinion poll conducted since Prime Minister Theresa May called a snap general election for June 8th has delivered a shock result. A staggering...
Smiling Liam Fox

Liam Fox Claims UK First in Queue for Scottish Trade Deal

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Liam Fox has sparked rumours that the Scottish Independence Referendum planned for 2018 was a foregone conclusion this afternoon. The furore began when Mr. Fox...

Fake news reporting undermining professionals

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Following the news that the owner of everyone's favourite dog and Facebook creator, Mark Zuckerberg has called to investigate fake news sites and exercise...

Corbyn Publicly Apologies For Labour Lords

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It's been widely reported that the House of Lords struck a severe blow to British democracy last night. The blow, sponsored by a rogue...
Hospital

If you lot weren’t so clumsy we wouldn’t need A&E, says Jeremy Hunt

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The Minister for Health, Jeremy Hunt, has stated during an interview with our reporter that the pressure felt by A&E staff up and down...
Rees Mogg

You lost get over it, Jacob Rees-Mogg told

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Jacob Rees-Mogg has been told to get over losing the no confidence vote in Theresa May last night. Mr Rees-Mogg heads the European Research Group...
Wetherspoons

Brexiteers to die of cirrhosis 20% sooner thanks to Wetherspoons

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Price cuts on just before date-expired cask ale and fizzy lager mean that Wetherspoons customers will be able to drink themselves to death more...
Ladder

Trump’s view on border wall evolves after learning the word ‘ladder’

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Donald Trump has sensationally dropped his controversial border wall plan, a key election promise, after seeing one of his Mexican labourers use a ladder for the first time.
Big Ben Spring

London residents devasted by Uber news

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The news from TFL that taxi firm Uber will lose its licence to operate in London has devastated residents of the city's popular western...
Vegan woman

Bank of England to use vegan fat in new £20 notes

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Last year vegans and social justice warriors, fighting on behalf of un-offended Hindus and Sikhs, absolutely lost their shit because of the Bank of...
Boris Johnson

Keep me out of the news says BoJo

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A BBC news anchor disappeared in a cloud of bitter irony recently whilst reporting the story surrounding the Foreign Secretary’s reported texts asking to...
Teenager

Teenager born in 2000 looks forward to enjoying retiring in 2120

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Today the government announced that plans to change to the state pension retirement age to 68 will take effect in 2037, 7 years earlier...

Nigel Farage launches leadership challenge

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Less then 24 hours after fewer than half of UKIP members voted for part time Ronnie Wood lookalike Diane James to be their new...
Trump

Donald Trump fails to mention the length of his penis in speech defending western...

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Donald Trump left an eager crowd shocked in Poland today when he failed to mention the length of his schlong once during a rousing...

All Your Faves Dying Just Preparation for apocalypse 

2016 has seen the death of pretty much every famous person you like. We interviewed Death yesterday to find out why: "I KNOW PEOPLE ARE...
Star Wars Millennium Falcon

Millennium Falcon and on and on and on

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As fans eagerly anticipate the latest film in the Star Wars saga, Rogue One, plans have been revealed for yet more films to be made.

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