Rochdale Rap Star Arrested On Drug Charges

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Hip hop maestro and rap superstar, 30 Bob, from Milnrow Rochdale, was arrested last week on drugs charges we can exclusively reveal. In a statement he told us: "Aye, I got caught like. But we rappers...
David Cameron

Cameron brings attention to himself to avoid attention being on him

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David Cameron, pig-fiddling, radish-faced ex-PM has decided to step down as an MP. Cameron, who nobody has so much as glanced at in Parliament since the recess ended said he was stepping down so as...

Men in Rural England “Shitting Themselves” as Helen Titchener Walks Free

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Men up and down the UK will now be sleeping with one eye open and replacing all the knives in the house with plastic picnic cutlery after the acquittal of Helen Titchener of Ambridge,...

Man behind Anonymous turns out to be 13 year old boy from Rochdale

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Fans of computer hacker extrordinaires and Internet fighters for justice, Anonymous, will be feeling very let down today with the news that the mastermind behind the whole thing is actually a 13-year-old spotty teenager...
corbyn momentum twerp

Political satire not funny when it’s about Corbyn, says humourless twerp

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Taking the mick out of Tories is fine but leave Corbyn alone, according to Frank Lennon, a Rochdale Momentum member. "The Tories are evil and are trying to destroy the poor," said Lennon, whose Facebook...

Further scandal as so called satirical page Southend News Network owners aren’t even Southern!

1
In what is turning out to be a much dragged out saga of scandal after scandal from those jumped up meme thieves over at SNN comes further revelations as our offices at The Rochdale...

Shops barely containing their desire to unload Christmas tat

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Rochdale trading standards office has revealed it has been inundated with complaints about retailers desperate to begin selling their Christmas wares.  Officer Colin McNigelson told the Herald that this past weekend has seen complaints about...

Flag waving celebration of mythical empire shouldn’t be ruined by cheap politics

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The Last Night at the Proms, an event where ex public school toffs wave the Union Flag in celebration of a completely made up version of history, is being hijacked by cheap politics says...

Teresa May in Dogging Scandal

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This seemed to be the headline that the Daily Mirror were fruitlessly alluding to in their article about a condom found in some woods in Maidenhead today. The Daily Mirror are pretty shameless when it...

McCartney soils himself in public, again

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McCartney has once again made a huge arse of himself in public, this time by taking a shit with his clothes on in the Houses of Parliament. Conservative MP Karl McCartney (who did you think...

Rooney: taking are cuntry bak

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As the second half of the Manchester derby got underway, reports were coming in that Wayne Rooney had joined Britain First. During the halftime team talk, United manager Jose Mourinho told simpleton, Rooney, "I want...

British businesses fat and lazy, says podgy bloke who does sweet FA for a...

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Liam Fox, who was sacked from the previous government for being a dodgy sod, has said that British businesses are fat and lazy and their directors would rather play a round of golf than...

Owen Smith has beaten off 1,200 young boys – says Owen Smith

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Owen Smith has caused another Labour controversy in parliament after beating off hundreds of boys in an attempt to pull his wife. Mr. Smith told The Herald; "I had to literally beat off literally hundreds of...

Stupid Rochdale man flattered by clickbait

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Exceptionally dim Rochdale man Brian Kershaw was yesterday super excited after answering nearly all of the questions correctly in an online quiz. Before he clicked on the quiz, Mr Kershaw had been assured that 99%...

Communists Confused by Billy No Mates

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The Far left have found themselves even more confused than normal today after revelations from losing Labour leadership candidate Owen Smith.  The Leninist/Trotskyist group of semi-professional paper sellers, the Socialist Workers Party, who consistently recommended...
Theresa May

May gives UK schools education 101

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Prime Minister Theresa May has heralded education reforms by telling UK schools that there will be "no return to the binary system of the past". The Rochdale Herald has this to say: 01000110 01110101 01100011 01101011...

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