Home Authors Posts by Francis Aston

Francis Aston

559 POSTS 0 COMMENTS
Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.
Sea Creature

Mysterious fanged sea creature that washed up on Texas beach identified as Steve Bannon

5
The large fanged, faceless sea creature that washed up on a southeastern Texas beach following Hurricane Harvey has finally been identified. The identity of the...
Man reading book

Man who only ever reads Jeremy Clarkson books outraged about Jane Austen appearing on...

6
A Rochdale man who only ever reads books written by Jeremy Clarkson has voiced his anger about Jane Austen appearing on the new £10...

Rochdale cyclist says he’s right about earth being flat

0
A Rochdale cyclist has spent the entire week explaining to people he works with how he knows the Earth is flat. Carl Isles, cycles the...
British Army

Man who’s never met a squaddie shocked army contains right wing extremists

0
A Rochdale man has told of his shock at discovering that some members of the British Army hold extreme right wing views. Cal Low, who...
Football Riot

Belgian football riot shows EU is hungry for UK exports says Liam Fox

0
A football riot at a Belgian football match between Anderlecht and Club Brugge demonstrates the hunger for British exports according to Liam Fox. In a...
Trump Supporters

Trump discovers one weird trick to increasing attendance at his rallies

3
The White House has confirmed that Donald Trump has found a weird trick to increasing attendance at his rallies. During a speech given to Texas...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson spotted on side of M25 after wheels and doors fall off car

6
Reports have reached the Rochdale Herald that Boris Johnson was spotted by the side of the M25 yesterday waiting for a recovery truck. One witness...
Daily Mail Readers

Daily Mail outrage as child placed with Muslim foster parents not with Christian child...

50
The Daily Mail and its readers have reacted with fury after a child was placed with a Muslim foster family due to a lack...
Trump Walking

Trump to visit Texas just as soon as the golf courses have been reopened

0
Donald Trump has announced he intends to visit areas of Texas affected by flooding just as soon as the cleaning operation on Texan golf...
Gay Men

Gays seen boarding ark two by two in Texas saying ‘our work here is...

6
An ark has been spotted in Texas picking up a group of homosexuals who caused all the flooding there. The findings have come as a...
Hurricane

Trump ecstatic hurricane Harvey is bigger than every hurricane under Obama

69
Donald Trump says he's especially proud that Hurricane Harvey is bigger than any Hurricane President Obama presided over. In a speech he said, "Watched...
Julian Assange

Ecuadorian embassy reveals Julian Assange has accidentally ordered a trailer tent whilst drunk

0
The Ecuadorian embassy have put an advert up for the sale of a trailer tent that Julian Assange accidentally ordered whilst drunk. An embassy employee...
Wayne Rooney

Wayne Rooney retires from International Football to spend more time with other people’s grandmas

27
Wayne Rooney has announced that he intends to spend more time with other peoples grandmothers after retiring from international football. Rooney explained, "I've been all...
Rambo on a horse

Producers of Rambo 3 sue Donald Trump for plagiarising film plot for Afghanistan strategy

9
The producers of Rambo 3 are allegedly suing Donald Trump for copyright infringements based on his Afghanistan strategy. Mr Trump was initially very cold on...
angry old woman

Islamic State recruitment in crisis after Imam reveals martys actually get nineteen 72 year...

18
Islamic State have revealed they've had to enlist the help of a management consultancy company, Sunni side of the street, following a drop in...
Steve Bannon

Steve Bannon ‘resigns’ to spend more time with his prejudices

6
Steve Bannon has announced that he'll now have more time to be with his prejudices following his sacking by mutual consent earlier today. A White...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts