The large fanged, faceless sea creature that washed up on a southeastern Texas beach following Hurricane Harvey has finally been identified.
The identity of the sea creature has been the subject of much debate after pictures of it were posted on social media with the caption, “What the heck is this?”
Speculation that it was a conger eel, an alien, the result of a scientific experiment gone wrong or the result of sea pollution were dismissed. One user said she thought it might be the child that the Kardashian family are rumoured to keep in their attic or one of Kaitie Price’s children.
However, yesterday scientists at the University of Texas at Austin announced that the creature has been identified as Steve Bannon.
Professor Catsmeat Pike said, “We first began to wonder about it when we found Bannon’s White House security pass in the creatures top pocket. Then we ran images through a computer and that matched it to Steve Bannon.
Bannon normally has a thick, slimey layer of mucus on him which is why we didn’t recognise him at first. The mucus allows him to slide through crowds of people and it was one of the reasons he’s been able to get so close to President Trump.”
It’s understood by the Herald that Bannon was also identified by his dental records. His dentist, Dr Szell is known to keep detailed records and was able to identify Bannon.
Professor Pike also revealed that they had obtained a DNA match for the creature from DNA taken from a posing pouch Bannon left in Donald Trumps desk in the White House.
It’s believed that Bannon was living in the Gulf of Mexico after being banished from the White House. It’s thought Bannon regularly burrows into the sea bed and waits for passing immigrants to feast on.
It’s not clear where Bannon is now but it’s understood that a Neo-Nazi rescue party have taken him away to nurse him back to health.
