Other News

Foreign Office officials have confirmed that Boris Johnson has finally accepted that the British Empire no longer exists, more than a year after he was first appointed Foreign Secretary. Speaking on condition of anonymity a...

The woman who believes she is British Prime Minister is to travel to Florence tomorrow to give a one date stand up performance in front of the leaders of the European Union and select...

The BBC’s most insightful political journalist has been discovered to be a species of parrot and awarded a delightful new name today by natural historians. Avian studies experts from the Rochdale Museum of Modern Natural...

The Liberal Democrats have announced the creation of an ‘armed wing’ in what commentators are interpreting as a last ditch attempt to have some impact on British politics. The announcement was made by three masked...

President Trump used his recent address to the UN Security Council to threaten ‘rocket man’ Sir Elton John, who he accuses of attempting to develop nuclear weapons which could reach the mainland United States....

The Met Office has released a statement this lunch time advising that all storms to hit the United Kingdom this winter will be named Storm Boris until Theresa May gets the balls to sack...

Ryanair have admitted that their latest cost-cutting measure, planes without pilots, has not been a complete success. The airline, famed for its no-frills stance, with optional extras generally costing more than the actual ticket, had...

The giant toy retailer has recently filed for bankruptcy protection in the US and Cananda after massive losses to rivals such as Amazon and other online competetitors. Toy sales have been on a downward...

Ofcom enquiry expected after record complaints pour in for presenter's poor taste antics. Following the record number of complaints received concerning last week's episode of The Great British Bake Off, which featured a segment where...

A big penis has spoken out today to deny any attachment to Manchester United striker Romelu Lukaku. Speaking to reporters outside his home address, the massive cock sought to distance himself from non-white people in...

Entertainment website Buzzfeed has withdrawn its ‘Which terrorist group are you?’ quiz following user complaints. The website removed the quiz on Tuesday afternoon, and released a statement apologising for what it admitted had been...

A bloke whose job it was to piss off two tonne bulls managed to piss off a two tonne bull to the extent that it squashed him in Lisbon earlier today. Fernando Quintela, 26, got...

Boris Johnson seems to have a one-track mind when it comes to numbers. While visiting an infants' school in Rochdale, he sat in on a few classes. When a maths lesson was announced, the children...

Tony Robinson is expected to take to Twitter this evening to announce an upcoming ‘Time Team’ special feature in which he and the gang will dig up great swathes of the countryside searching for...

Number 10 have confirmed today that Theresa May’s teeth are well and truly gritted and not coming unstuck anytime soon. Whilst seen as a potential aid to her speech in Florence on Thursday based on...

Your cat has confirmed that despite only being willing to eat one specific type of food, it is still more than happy to lick its own anus. Speaking to reporters earlier today, the furry little...