Trump marks 50 years since Abraham Lincoln walked on Mars

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Donald Trump has today given a speech suggesting that it's the 50th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln walking on Mars. A spokesman for POTATUS said, "POTATUS meant to mark 50 years since Neil Armstrong walked...

BBC in new accusations of bias

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Following the release of a teaser for the upcoming Star Wars VIII documentary film, the BBC has been accused of heavy bias towards the rebel scum.  Recent Question Time programmes have featured panels heavy with...
Aliens

Aliens call off attack due to lack of funny title for this article

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Giant brain-sucking aliens from the R33-Delta 1 Q’Luurfb system have put back their planned invasion of the planet Earth we can exclusively reveal today. The green, eight-fingered, slimy Q’Luurfbians had planned to invade this coming...

US Government admits covering up red alert over imminent asteroid impact

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Scientists and Government sources have confirmed that the giant asteroid, 2016-FI is on course to strike the Northern Hemisphere after initial uncertainty about it's trajectory. The news was first reported by California's Yackler Observatory...
If we can pay for food we can pay for rockets - say NASA

If we can pay for food we can pay for rockets – say NASA

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American space go-getters NASA are said to be up in arms about budget restrictions while there is still enough money available to feed some children 3 meals a day. "We're never going to put a...
Deep Space

Theresa May’s credibility leaves solar system

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Theresa May's credibility has become the third human-made object to travel into interstellar space less than two years after her mission began. It passed through the protective bubble around the sun yesterday morning and is...
Brian Cox

London not centre of Universe say astronomers

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In a shock announcement today, astronomers have come out and stated categorically that London is not the centre of the universe. The BBC's face of astronomy, Professor Brian Cox, made the announcement to the assembled...

Brian Cox Announced As New President Of Flat Earth Society

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Both the scientific and pseudo-scientific communities express a modicum of shock as tousle-haired synth-pop supremo and thinking housewives favourite Professor Brian Cox is sworn in as the new president of Flat Earth Society. Establishment figureheads...

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