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Liam Callaghan

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Theresa May’s password ‘strongandstable’ easiest to guess say hackers

In the wake of the recent cyber-attacks on parliament, we have learned a lot. For starters, the reason Theresa May keeps saying “strong and...
James blunt

James Blunt demands Knighthood after Ed Sheeran receives MBE

The news of Ed Sheeran’s accolade in the latest honours list has been greeted by mixed reactions. His fans have welcomed the news, but their...

Lexicographers To Change Spelling Of Government To Not Include Gove

Lexicographers at the Oxford English Dictionary have announced today that the word “government” is to be given a new spelling. In the future, the...

Theresa May Reads A Christmas Carol Backwards To Give It A Happy Ending

It’s one of the most famous stories, if not the most famous, in the English language. It’s been made into countless films, plays and...

Racists Shocked To Learn Arabic Words Have English Translations

Racists up and down the country have been shocked to learn that certain Arabic words like “Allah” and “Halal” actually translate into regular English...
John Noakes

John Noakes to be buried in coffin he made earlier

The late John Noakes, it has been revealed, made his own coffin in preparation for his death. Exactly when he did this is not...
analogue

Government digital service actually still analogue

The government’s “digital service”, a branch of the cabinet office and the one that was meant to protect the government’s computer systems against cyber...
Queen and Philip

Prince Philip disappointed not to get his own sparkly hat

The Duke of Edinburgh’s retirement is entirely down to one thing, it would seem. Speculation has been rife ever since the announcement, but now...
Paul Nuttall

Paul Nuttall To Become Next Duke Of Edinburgh

Paul Nuttall will be assuming the position of Duke of Edinburgh, following the retirement of Prince Philip, he has confirmed. “It’s the perfect job, really,”...

Nobody Sufficiently Into Ed Sheeran To Be Fussed About Being First In The Arena

Ed Sheeran - like him or dislike him, it seems that nobody has particularly strong feelings about him either way, it would appear. At a...
Calendar

Government Announces National Nothing Day.

From worthy issues such as International Women’s Day to cultural stereotypes like National Tea Day, it seems like every day is "something" Day. Just...
Popularity Contest

It’s not a popularity contest, really unpopular MP tells voters

An extremely unpopular MP has just informed voters that the upcoming general election is not a popularity contest. The MP addressed the crowd and urged...

All Future Covers Of David Bowie Hit To Be Recorded As Life On Titan

The David Bowie hit Life On Mars is getting a slight posthumous makeover, it would appear. In response to NASA’s announcement about the possibility of...
Jeremy Hunt

Jeremy Hunt Pictures Issued To Stop People Choking

A new cure has been unveiled by the NHS to stop people choking - looking at pictures of Jeremy Hunt. This seemingly controversial move actually...

Yoga All About Getting Your Head Up Your Own Fundament

It’s always been said that there’s more to yoga than the lotus position, but it has been revealed recently that the true aim is...
May and Cameron

Theresa May Attempting To Make David Cameron Look Better In Retrospect

Theresa May’s goal as Prime Minister is to ensure that people don’t remember David Cameron’s premiership as the worst in history, it has emerged. Speaking...

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