Home Authors Posts by Quentin D Fortesqueue

Quentin D Fortesqueue

1004 POSTS 0 COMMENTS
Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.

Nobody Offended By Twitter Joke

0
A joke posted on Twitter yesterday has met with a complete lack of offence for the first time in history. The joke which reads "Most...

Do You Live in an Uneducated, Inbred, White Ghetto? Take Our Quiz For 5...

0
The Herald are proud to bring you this fun & easy to do quiz - Find out if you are inbred white-trash! Question 1 -...

Private rail company owner and Blairite totally unbiased about Traingate

1
Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson said today that claims that he has it in for rail nationalisation enthusiast Jeremy Corbyn are unfounded. The gazillionaire, famous...

Corbyn train lie proves case for nationalisation

After it was revealed today that Jeremy Corbyn lied about having to sit on the floor of a train he claimed was ram packed,...

Streisand Needs To Pronounce Her Name Properly, Says Siri

Barbara Streizzand has used her fame as a has been screecher and ex-movie star to get Apple to alter the way Siri pronounces...
Burkina

Outrage as women flout Burkini ban on Rochdale beach

110
Police were called yesterday afternoon after a large group of women were caught flouting the controversial "Burkini Ban" on Rochdale's world famous Stansfield Beach. Members...

Britain Not Full – claim small group of enochlophobia sufferers

Today, a small group of enochlophobia sufferers have spoken out to declare Britain is NOT full. A spokesman for 'Enochlophobia Martyrs for the Prevention of...

Muppet fury over South West Trains slur

Muppets across Britain are furious today after learning that the name of their species was used as a slur to describe vandals by an...

Galloway Still Not Gone Away

Scotland's answer to Simon Danczuk, George Clementine Galloway, is inexplicably in the news again despite not being on Celebrity Big Brother.  The ex-Labour MP...

The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Simon Danczuk

2
It's been a fairly typical week for Rochdale's "MP" after he found himself at the centre of another embarrassing shit storm. In another in a...

Daily Mail editor on suicide watch as rumours of Mo Farah knighthood circulate

31
There are genuine fears for the editor of The Daily Mail after a Somali born Muslim Immigrant ran to a double double victory at...

Night tube wonderful, say apprentice journalists through gritted teeth 

Scores of young, underpaid trainee journalists have been drowsily typing up their reviews of the night tube over the last two mornings as their...

Over-exaggerating totally different to lying your arse off

0
Swimmer and US gold medal winning bullshitter, Ryan Lochte, has sort of apologised for making things up. The lying git said that his description of...

Outrage in Rochdale as taxi drivers no longer legally required to speak English

Rochdale residents will have to scrub up their language skills because as of Friday taxi drivers in the city are no longer legally required...

Make America Great Again

We keep hearing Donald saying he's going to make America great again, sounds good to us but we were curious to find out when...

Tate & Lyle sponsor cabinet meetings

After what critics are calling a feeble effort to tackle childhood obesity the government is now in hot water again as it transpired that...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts