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Wrandle River


Lords Punish May With Dance

Prime Minister Theresa May attempted to intimidate The Lords this evening with a “dance off”. And failed terribly. A furious May entered the Lords...

Farage To Sell Knighthood

Sir Nigel Farage surprised many in the realm this morning when he put his newly acquired knighthood up for sale on eBay. "I was going...

Amnesty International petition UN to halt Southern Rail human rights abuses

Southern announced today that the endless years of appalling service were over. "We've been building to this moment." Someguywhohatespeoplesaid. "And today I can announce that we're replacing...

Nuttall Claims Best Actor At Oscars

Armenian born British Actor Constantine Felangi, better known by his stage name of Paul Nuttall, seized the coveted golden statue for Best Actor at...

Racists awarded PIP’s under new mental health provisions

Penny Mordor MP, Secretary of State for Disabled People, Work and Health announced this morning wide ranging changes to the qualification criteria for PIP (Personal Independence...

Wars of the Roses to be Re-Run

10 Downing Street has this morning announced that The Wars of the Roses are to be re-fought via a referendum for each decisive battle. It's...

Gove Demands Westminster Soft Play Area

Michael Gove MP caused elation inside Kate Hoey MP today with his demand for a soft play area at the Palace of Westminster. Gove, the...

Trump Introduces 2020 Presidential Campaign Mascot

President Trump took to the stage in Nuremberg, Florida, on Saturday in front of a crowd seen from space, to unveil his mascot for...

Nuttall Calls Fraud On Stoke

Paul Nuttall, UKIP’s caretaker leader, has upset the Westminster apple cart by demanding a recount of votes in the Stoke by election. “I want to...

Trump barred from White House toilets

President Donald Trump has been the first victim of his cancellation of orders compelling universities and other institutions to respect personal identity. Although rescinding the orders was...

Senior Tories Pledge To Eat Less

In response to UNICEF’S report today forecasting child starvation in 2017, senior Tories have pledged to eat less. Peasant. Goose. Equine tartare and literally millions...

Trump Replaces White House With Blimp

President Donald Trump took to the skies over Washington today in a giant, orange blimp. The President is believed to have made the decision...

Theresa May offers Germany Sunderland

Theresa May was left visibly irritated this morning when a generous offer to Germany was rejected out of hand. May’s sincere offer, to hand Sunderland over...
Boxer hitting punchbag

Paul Nuttall – Why I Won’t Talk About Fight Club

Paul Nuttall O.B.E is reluctant to talk about Fight Club, the global phenomenon he founded in 1996. “Chuck and me, we don't talk about it." He...

Paul Nuttall Converted To Islam

Paul Nuttall has retracted a claim on his Facebook page from 2009 that he converted to Islam after sharing a kebab with Mohammed Ali. "I never...

Trump Outraged To Learn of Invention of Phonograph

Taking to Twitter, So Called President Trump rounded on critics of his administration within the media, and their underhand strategy of recording stuff. "Edison fake American....

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