Quentin D Fortesqueue
Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.
David Davis organises piss up in brewery on wrong day
The Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union reportedly organised a smashing piss up in a brewery to celebrate New Year's Eve on...
Somebody on Facebook has eaten some food
It is being widely reported by sources around the world that somebody on Facebook has cooked and eaten a tasty meal.
Council has enough grit
A council in the North of England is absolutely confident that this is the year that they have bought enough grit to salt the...
Your Mum has a dildo
Children all over the country are coming to terms with the horrifying reality that their Mums have at least one dildo.
Couple still at bottle bank
A Rochdale couple is now entering their third day of disposing of bottles at their local bottle bank.
Now that passports are blue again I might get one, says 50 year old...
A fifty year old racist fuckwit has told The Rochdale Herald that he is over the moon that passports are now going to be...
North Korea piccalilli factory in full production – SHOCKING satellite images show
CHILLING satellite photographs show North Korean chemical factories are manufacturing weapons grade piccalilli in horrifying quantities.
Grainy images at first sight lead viewers to think...
Children of middle class parents begin Christmas paperwork
The children of middle class parents all over the country are celebrating the rest of their holidays by doing paperwork.
Racist black cop shoots mentally unstable white veteran, says Fox News
Fox News has accused the LA Police Department of institutional racism after a black cop shot a mentally unstable white veteran on the steps...
Jeremy Corbyn’s children still enjoying playing with their new coal
Jeremy Corbyn’s children reportedly had a brilliant Christmas and are still enjoying playing with the new coal their Dad bought them.
It’s a Christmas Miracle says Rochdale Man who needed nineteen pairs of new socks
A Rochdale Man who was running dangerously low on half price Pringle socks from TK Maxx has praised friends and relatives for stepping in and buying him almost two dozen pairs for Christmas.
Jesus to have birthday party in August
Jesus Christ has gone on the record to say that he is absolutely sick and tired of relatives and friends buying him joint birthday and Christmas presents.
Jesus demands separate birthday and Christmas presents
Jesus Christ has gone on the record to say that he is absolutely sick and tired of relatives and friends buying him joint birthday and Christmas presents.
Thank you for supporting Satire Aid – 26,000 presents worth £175,000
The numbers are now in for Satire Aid's Big Fat Secret Santa appeal. Together the readers of The Rochdale Herald, NewsThump, Angry People in...
Trump adds Germany to Travel Ban after hostages taken at Nakatomi Tower
Donald Trump has added the populations of Germany and Austria to his controversial travel ban after hearing reports that terrorists have taken hostages at the Nakatomi Tower in Los Angeles, again.
I suppose we better start our Christmas shopping, say men
Men all over the world are reluctantly conceding that now might be a good time to start their Christmas shopping.
"If I start shopping at...
