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Captain No


Donald Trump’s staff installs 400 extra red buttons to “delay the inevitable”

The fate of the billions of people could lie in the hands and minds of these two, often unpredictable leaders, which is a concern for many.
Bubble Wrap

Bubble wrap producers report record sales as schools prepare for new year

As pupils prepare to merrily go back to school their parents are preparing for the big celebration. In recent years, parents have been edging ever-closer...

Parents ask kids to surf net to find solution to spending too much time...

Fresh fears regarding the overuse of the internet by youngsters has emerged, with experts suggesting that it should be compared to fast food. The...
Usain Bolt

Sports Scientists baffled as two guys faster than world’s fastest man

On Saturday, the world’s favourite sprinter, Usain Bolt ran his last 100m race of his career at the London Stadium. The 30 year old...

Sales of refrigerators tumble due to British Gas price hike

This week brought the news that British Gas are set to raise their prices again, effecting millions of loyal customers. This move will likely see...
Christiano Ronaldo

Ronaldo vows to work the full six weeks to pay £13 million tax bill

Many of us were shocked when top footballer, Cristiano Ronaldo was embroiled in tax evasion, especially to such a degree. The highly-regarded player, often hailed...

New Tony Blair character in Cluedo, cannot be accused

Exciting news for fans of the classic board game Cluedo as a new character is to be introduced! That character is no other than former...
Justine Greening

Secretary of State for Education, Justine Greening shows concern for pupils “Not talk good”

In the UK, education has always been of paramount significance, on par with the National Health Service, or ensuring that MPs have enough income...

U.S. military buys Viagra after being told troops need to “be hard”

It has emerged this week that the U.S. military spend approximately £63 million annually on the popular medication which aids erectile dysfunction. This baffling...

Diabetes sufferers celebrate reduced risk with ‘messy weekend’

The news that top scientists have established that people who drink alcohol more regularly are less likely to develop diabetes. The results found that...

U.S transgender community ‘relieved’ they will not die fighting for Trump

As President Trump, leader of the free world, announced that transgender citizens would no longer be allowed to serve the U.S. Armed forces in...

Boots fight elitism by pricing poor people out of contraception

High Street favourite Boots has been in hot water lately over the row which arose from the response regarding the morning after pill. The...
Police Raid

Jobs with street value of £25 million found in flat of immigrant scrounger

The recent drought of jobs for British citizens has been an ongoing concern. Tirelessly the DWP and businesses have been desperately trying to scramble...

Foxes Just ‘Scarves With Legs’ Says Tory Think-Tank

During the snap election called by Theresa May one controversial proposal to emerge from the Tory manifesto was the abolishment of the fox-hunting ban....

Conservatives horrified at ‘meagre’ income of BBC presenters

On Wednesday in was revealed to the public how much some of our favourite BBC Presenters earn, as well as some rubbish ones too. The...
Angry Woman

Co-worker with ‘resting bitch-face’ actually really nice

We all fear change in Rochdale especially when we meet new people and feel the tension building as we force small talk. One local...

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