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Tim Goodwin

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Rochdale Herald Editor Re-admitted to Hospital

Herald editor, Quentin D. Fortesqueue has been re-admitted to Rochdale General Hospital for surgery to remove his tongue from his cheek. The jaded and cynical...

Mexico Offers to Purchase Channel Tunnel Following Brexit

A Mexican conglomerate has offered to purchase the Channel Tunnel when Britain formally leaves the European Union. Juan Tunnelsunda, CEO of Tunnels 2 US, a...
hand written notes

Trump apologises for misreading email.

President Donald J. Trump has apologised for misreading an email which has led to some bizarre policy announcements in the last few days. The President was...

Rochdale’s Indian Youth Bemoan Lack of “English” Takeaways

Rochdale's Indian youth have complained that there is a distinct lack of  late night 'English' takeaway food available in the town. "You know what it's...
Man with lizard face

Britain First Announces Pact With Lizard People

Britain First, the right-wing political party for twats of all ages, has announced a revolutionary partnership with The Lizard People, a secretive reptilian group of aliens...

Rochdale Herald Editor knighted in New Year’s Honours List

The editor of the Rochdale Herald, Quentin D. Fortesqueue has been knighted for services to fake news. Mr Fortesqueue, 58, said he was delighted...

Herald Editor Treated For Shock After Finding Journalism in Daily Mirror

The Editor of the Rochdale Herald is recuperating in Rochdale General Hospital after accidentally finding some quality journalism in The Daily Mirror.

Little Chef Change All Breakfasts To ‘Pork-Free’ After Complaints by ‘Foreigners’.

British roadside dining legends Little Chef have decided to make all their breakfasts, including their famous ‘All Day Breakfast’, entirely pork-free following a campaign...
Dartboard

UKIP contains more pricks than Eric Bristow’s dartboard

The political establishment was rocked today when new research conclusively proved that the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP) contains more pricks than world famous darts...

5000 American tourists arrested for ‘hostile reconnaissance’.

The Metropolitan Police Hostile Reconnaissance Unit has arrested more than 5,000 American tourists in the last two days.
British Homeopath

British Homeopathy Association to strike over watered down labelling

The British Homeopathy Association has announced a planned strike over government plans to label their medication as being ‘useless’. The head of the British Homeopathic Association...
Trump Announces New Cabinet Appointments

Trump Announces New Cabinet Appointments

Two new appointments have been made to the cabinet of President-Elect Donald Trump. “Although I know that I will be technically the Commander-In-Chief, people will get angry...

Rochdale Set to Become Major Irony Exporter

The irony mining industry in Rochdale, previously in serious decline, received a massive boost yesterday following the result of the US Presidential elections. Irony is...
Snow on trees

Rochdale Council to vote on plan to colour snow

Rochdale Council are to consider a plan to colour snow to make it more representative of the cultural mix of the area. The Rochdale Multi-Cultural...

Fat People Rejoice as America Turns Into a Parody of Itself

Scenes of wild jubilation, gunfire and a surfeit of 'Go Large Burgers with Extra Fries' greeted the overnight transformation of the United States of...

Gove says public ‘sick and tired’ of so-called legal experts…

Following the successful legal challenge to Brexit, Michael Gove has said that the public are "sick and tired" of so-called legal experts being high...

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