Nosmo King
Police and HMRC raid Arsenal after silver polish claim on VAT return
More tax scandal has hit the Premier League last night after police swooped on the Arsenal stadium after they tried to claim the VAT...
Diane Abbot “fed lines through an ear-piece” says former leader
Diane Abbot's former Leader has claimed the MP is fed her lines through an earpiece so she doesn't have to memorise facts, figures, policy...
Gay sex not a sin if you keep your socks on says Tim Farron
Liberal Democrat leader Tim Farron says he does not believe gay sex is a sin "as long as you don't push back".
Mr Farron said...
Wank Bank to close with loss of 1,200 Hand Jobs – Bosses Blame 4G...
The Wank Bank, formally Britain's premier repository of one-handed images, has announced that it will shut its doors after over 100 years of trading.
Founded in...
Archbishop Suspended By Labour Over Historically Discredited Old Testament
Labour have suspended Justin Welby, the Archbishop of Canterbury.
In an enquiry it was claimed that the Archbishop, 53, had been reported to the Labour...
Ed Miliband Suspended by Labour in Anti-Semitic Bacon Sandwich Shocker
Former Labour Leader Ed Miliband has been suspended from the Party after being accused of anti-Semitic breakfast habits. A spokesman for the Labour Party...
Waitrose Launch Free From Flavour and Common Sense Range in London Stores
Waitrose are launching a range of food that will taste of nothing and cost "shit-loads more" in their London stores.
Quentin Danvers, Head of Pretentious...
World “back on track” after Dutch non-Nazi gets 20% of the vote
World leaders have rushed to hail the Dutch general election as the turning point in the history of civilisation. With the rising tide of...
Donald Trump’s Golf Partner Outraged at Sexist Muirfield
Rory McIlroy, who plays golf with a man who openly questioned Hilary Clinton's ability to sexually satisfy her husband, has continued his criticism of...
Hammond to read policy documents before saying them out loud in future
Phillip Hammond, for now at least Chancellor of the Exchequer, has announced that in future he will "have a butchers at" major policy documents...
Sturgeon triggers IndyRef 2 after house lands on sister
Nicola Sturgeon sensationally called for an independence referendum after a house came seemingly from nowhere and landed on her sister.
Speaking through an interpreter she...
Sturgeon Calls for Scots Independence to save British Lions Tour
Nicola Sturgeon has called for IndyRef2 to be brought forward to save the British Lions Tour to New Zealand.
Speaking in the aftermath of Scotland's...
Priests to Discover What Celibacy Really Means – Say Experts
Following the historic announcement by Pope Francis that Priests are to be allowed to marry, experts are saying that Catholic Priests are, for the...
Autumn 2022 “common sense date for IndyRef 4” says Sturgeon
Scotland's first minister has said autumn 2018 would be a "common sense" date for a 4th independence referendum.
Nicola Sturgeon continued to insist, however, that...
French Declare Victory and Award Medals After Sniper Shoots Drinks Waiter
France has declared 3 days of National holidays after a "hero" sniper accidentally injured two people who were moving cases of Evian at an...
Whitehaven and Cumbria to Leave UK Launch of Cumbria Independence Party CUMFUK
Emboldened by her landslide victory in the Copeland By-Election, new MP Trudy Harrison has announced that she is leaving the Conservative Party to campaign...
